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poor old man

Colin1Colin1 Posts: 1,769
edited 28. Jul 2012, 04:55 in Community Chit-chat archive
A 72-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests came back normal so the doctor says, "Harry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"

Harry replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof!, the light goes on. When I'm done, poof!, the light goes off."

"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Harry's wife. "Mrs. White," he says, "Harry is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?"

"OH GOOD GRIEF!" Mrs. white exclaims,
"He is issing in the fridge again!"

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her breasts.
Dr. Smith advised her, 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'

She did this faithfully for several months !

To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup boobs!
One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.
Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood up in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby doobie,doobies, I want bigger boobies.'

A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked, 'Oh! Are you a patient of Dr. Smith 's ?'

'Yes I am... How did you know?'

He winked and replied, " Hickory dickory dock
WHEN GOD GIVES YOU LEMONS MAKE LEMONADE

Comments

  • fowls48fowls48 Posts: 1,357
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
  • diamonddiamond Posts: 396
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks for making me laugh Colin.
  • tkachevtkachev Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks Colin I only read the last few lines but got the idea!

    E :lol:
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • georgie66georgie66 Posts: 403
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    my colin this gave us a giggle :lol:
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