A FEW QUICK ONES

Colin1

Just a few quick ones whilst i type out some jokes.

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually '

So I'm sitting on the edge of the bed pulling off my boxers and the wife says to me "You spoil those dogs"

Its Bad when your wheelie bin goes out more than you

Just had bubble and squeak for tea... Guess I'll have to buy the kids 2 new hamsters tomorrow

I got kicked out of the cinema last night for bringing my own food in with me. I was gutted. It's ages since I've had a barbecue.

Got home last night and there was a note on top of the TV from the wife.
It said simply "I am leaving you - it's no good it just isn't working"
I plugged it in and turned it on, and the picture was perfect!!!

Bobs been a professional flasher all his life he was going to retire this august, but decided to stick it out for another year.

An expert has predicted that the computer will eventually replace paper, it obvious he never tried to wipe his bum with a lap top.

I missed the Gym today thats 5 years in a row

Researches have discovered that excessive **** can cause dyslexia .Hwoevre, tihs is onlt in etxreem caess of slef aubse.

A little boy and a little girl are in the bath
The little boy said, Can i duck you?
I doubt it said the little girl you can't even say it!

The man who took Ryan air to court for losing his luggage has lost his case

If you see someone doing the crossword just shout 7 up is lemonade

i went to my allotment last week & found someone had covered it with 2 inches of soil , i went again today only to find it covered in another 2 inches of soil !!! the plot thickens

fowls48

joanlawson

Good to see that your Liverpudlian sense of humour is still in full working order, Colin