Jim and Flo

Colin1 · 6. Aug 2012, 06:22

Jim and flo had been married for many years, one day jim comes home from the doctors
Flo doctor says I’m dying, I have a thing called yellow 36, its called that because I have gone all yellow and I will be dead in 36 hours. Flo says you always said you would go the bingo with me and now your dying. OK jim says ill go with you tonight. At the Bingo flo makes Jim buy all the tickets including the link. Bingo starts first house Jim wins £100 second game he wins £50 and third game he getds the line and the full house winning £180. Flo is thrilled and after the break the winning starts again as Jim wins every game toting up his money he has now won £1500.00 Flo is delighted thinking about the things she will spend the money on. Then the link starts its a full house for £75.000 and Jim wins both flo and jim are thrilled. Over the mike comes the voice of the bingo caller praising jim and asking him to say a few words, The bingo caller says your wife tells me its the first time you ever came to the bingo, yes Jim says the bingo caller says you are such a lucky man “ Me says jim I’m not lucky at all in fact I have yellow 36 The bingo caller looks into the crowd and shouts this buggers won the raffle now.

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant,"You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You B!"
The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten B!"
The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these heinous crimes but no more outbursts from you or I'll charge you with contempt and have you removed from the courtroom. Is that understood?"
The chap in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm very sorry, your Honour, but for fifteen years I've lived next door to that B, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."