Struggling again ...

freesia

Sorry - but I'm really struggling at the moment, and need some moral support from you guys & girls...

The last few days, OA in both my knees been giving me grief (much more than normal)...

I have up'd my pain medication (for the short term, fingers crossed) which is helping a little...

BUT I'm struggling 'mentally & emotionally' now, really can't cope with the thought this OA effecting my whole Life getting me down and very low emotionally. When I'm working I just about manage my day, but when I get home I just sit & cry.... FEELING SO USELESS...

I feel angry / frustrated & very very SAD....

I Do NOT want to go back to GP - as she will just try and chuck antidepressants down my neck, and I don't want that... Spiraling downwards....

LignumVitae

Hi Freesia,

I'm really sorry to hear that you are struggling so much at the moment. We have all been there in the doldrums and I know how it feels, like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
There are a few things you can do though - you could return to your GP and state you don't want anti-depressents but would like to know if there are other options - maybe a different pain med/ anti-inflammatory - which could help you through this tricky patch.
You could call the helpline and chat to the lovely people who might also have suggestions but more than that, will have understanding.
You can keep posting on here.
I know it seems like arthritis will affect everything and all your life, I too have felt like that at times, particularly at times recently as I am currently drug free (argh) trying for a baby. When my head goes to that place I have a number of tricks up my sleeve to calm me down and take my mind away. They are all treats in my world - I read a book and refuse to do anything for anybody else (quite rare for me) getting so stuck into the story that I absorb myself away from the situation. I get Mr LV or a lovely friend to get some popcorn and a film and no matter the time of day we have a film fest (which I can also fall asleep through) and that feels like a naughty treat like having chocolate for breakfast or something. I also listen to my music so my head gets carried away with the lyrics and not the thoughts. Another thing is to do something productive - if my hands are in good nick (which isn't often) I do a bit of embroidery - not everybody's cup of tea but it helps me feel like I am not useless or wasting time.
Those are my tricks based on the things I like, maybe you will have different tricks but take a bit of time out to think up the things you might enjoy doing. If all else fails, I gaze at my plants from the back door step and smile at the flowers.
Nothing works straight away but the bad place is a vortex and it sucks you down, the trick for me is finding things to stop it whirling around and winning!!
Good luck, I am thinking of you and sending you much love and hugs as well as some vibes to ease the pain and stop it nagging so much.
LV xx

Helenbothknees

freesia, as LV said, many (most?) of us know how you feel. My GP wanted to put me on antidepressants last year; I refused, telling him I was depressed because I was in worsening pain, not because I had 'depression'. I eventually found out the depression was due to taking iboprofen regularly; I've turned out to be allergic to all anti-inflammatories. (Naproxen gives me panic attacks, which is far worse). When I stopped that I felt better about life, even if not about the pain. So firstly, have you checked out it's not something like that.

Secondly, maybe you need a plan of campaign. This may be a temporary flare-up, in which case, take more medication, be nice to yourself, and accept that it'll get better. If it turns out to be permanent, as mine did, make sure you get help from your GP and insist you need more than you're getting. Have you tried steroid injections yet? Never worked for me, but seem to be brilliant for some people. Are you reaching the point yet of needing surgery? I feel 'better' since I've had it, despite the constant pain and the fact I can't even walk around the supermarket yet, because if all goes as it should, things will get better, not worse. Reading between the lines, it sounds as though you need hope, and the feeling of hopelessness and lack of control is what's getting you down. I understand. Things CAN be done. Just work out a plan and try to get some help to go for it.

Meanwhile, here are some hugs ((((((((freesia)))))))).

dreamdaisy

LV has popped up with some wonderful advice there - I've taken note of some of her ideas.

The discovery in April '11 that I have quite advanced OA in both my knees and that it was evident in my ankles led me down into that dark hole. That seemed like a final kick in the teeth after coping for so long with the PsA but I quickly realised that it wouldn't be the last kick in the teeth, that there will be more to come (as indeed there has). If arthritis was sitting in the Mastermind chair one of its specialist areas would be 'Kicking Someone Whilst They're Down'. I went to the GP and asked for anti-depressants, not because I wanted to take more meds but because I recognised I needed a hand to help me over this particular hurdle. I intended coming off them after about three months but that hasn't happened on the advice of both my rheumatologist and GP. If I am feeling 'brighter' mentally I can cope better with the pain, and that makes sense.

Sometimes the only answer to depression is a tablet. Arthritis feeds on distress, upset, tiredness and pain and in so doing causes more of the distress, upset etc. It's a vicious cycle but it can be broken in a number of ways, pills being one of them. Why are you reluctant to take an anti -depressant? If I have forgotten something in your 'case history' related to this I apologise. You are undoubtedly going through a tough time at the moment and I hope something can be done, or you can find something, to help. DD

elsa56

I agree...Its not the end of the world taking Anti-Depessents, I know its not something we wish for but they do help to ralax you and I have found it much easier to cope. It hasn't made my aches and pains go away but my hubby doesn't get a constant ear ache with me moaning and feeling sorry for myself all the time. My way of coping was to cause an arguement and blame all my problems on him. Now I realise what a monster I had become.Its worth considering if only short term. Hope things get easier for you
xx

mouseymousey

Some great advice already here. For what its worth I'd say the same thing re anti-d's, just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't broken? What I'm struggling to say is - if you had a broken leg everyone would say take the meds? So if you are down maybe you just need them for a wee while?
I know just how it feels to be reluctant to take them. I take the over the counter things (I can't say on here what they are called) herbal alternative.
You need a bit of being your own best friend! My treat is a long soak with a good book (lots of essential oils in the water).
It'll pass - I hope it has.
Take care
M

dreamdaisy

Hello Freesia, how are things today? I hope you are feeling a little brighter at the thought of the iminent week-end. Take care. DD

tillytop

Thinking of you Freesia. Lots.

Love Tillyxxx

Susiesoo

I'm also thinking of you Freesia. I do hope you are feeling a bit brighter and finding some moral support from people on here.

I hope you are able to enjoy some of the sunshine.

Very best wishes coming your way. Susie

kathe

Off that was no good to hear.
I don't think you need antidepresive, people youst have to accept that sometimes we have had it..It is not easy living whit , but we have to get true. But I think it is importent to lett feelings out . On the outside I now people see me as a strong person, but sometimes when I 'm alone I crie my self to sleep. Because it is to mutch. All toughts spinning around, I now it is not easy. And it is impotent to lett feelings out . We have all been where you are I think. But we find a way to come true it. Not having a great time now, but now that I have to come true it four myself and my familiy.
Hopes it gett better four you. Best wisches.

hileena111

Hi Freesia,
Sorry I'm just catching up again after being minus a computer for 8 days
You've got great advice from everyone else and I hope things are a bit better by now
Lo ve
Hileena

elainebadknee

Fresia

Youre not useless you are as you said just struggling at the moment and dont want anti depressants which I think is good...My doctor once said to me when I was having a bad time, losing my home, my partner and job "this is reactive stress you are suffering from, its not as if you are stressed for no reason" and thats how i try to put it in a box, compartmentalise if you can see what I mean..
I love LV's advice, the film fest sounds great, i want a ticket to that event??!! Also music is good like LV said, lose yourself in it, shut your eyes and let it carry you on a wave....I wish I was as chilled out as LV!!
I really hope your joints ease a little, some say the heat eases arthritis pain but i dont think its the case always, maybe its making it worse at moment - just a wee thought?
Hope you start to feel better honest and remember you are holding down a job too, I dont do that so youve humbled me!...

Elainex

dreamdaisy

Hello Freesia, I send the same message as yesterday and I hope you are having a better day. DD

dibdab

Hi Freesia,
Only just caught up after being away for a couple of days. So sorry to hear what a struggle you're haviing- I think most of us on here have been there and no doubt will get there again- this disease is more than anyone can deal with unaided. Please be gentle with yourself- all those wonderful ideas to take youself to another place sound worth a try. Sending you gentle hugs, hope each day gets a bit brighter for you.
Deb x

freesia

Hi everyone.... Been a rough few days.....

Lots of tears / emotions & PAIN.....

BUT, thank you for 'all' for your kind words of support, they certainly have helped me realise I'm not alone....

Thinking this warm (showery) hence, warm & damp weather is REALLY BAD for me.... It's lovely to see the sun, But I struggle in this heat....

Taking one day at a time at the moment - that's the only way that 'I' can seem to cope..... self dosing my medication to suit my pain levels... But being ALLERGIC to nsaids & anti-imflammatories is a tough situation - so still looking for alternative 'natural' remedies......

Just watched "Mr Poppers Penguins" film on sky with Jim Carey - which really made me laugh, and took my mind of things..... so a good afternoon had.....

Lots of love to everyone ........xx

barbara12

Hi Freesia
Just to say that you are not on your own feeling so useless and down, this is what pain can do to you, and if you need ADs to get over a really bad patch then you take them.
I do think you are right about this hot sticky weather, my joints are screaming....so you carry on talking to us lot, we can understand some of what you are going through....its rotten when you are so down...so please see your GP, and dont forget talking is a big help
You take care xx

stickywicket

freesia wrote:

Just watched "Mr Poppers Penguins" film on sky with Jim Carey - which really made me laugh, and took my mind of things..... so a good afternoon had.....

Distraction is a recognised method of pain relief, freesia, so whatever rocks your boat. For me it's computer games (the only time I ever do them), reading, crosswords, sudoku etc. And laughter releases endorphins which help too. Read a few jokes. Have a laugh with friends either in person or by phone. Don't underestimate the importance of these, apparently little, things.