What Are Your Standards of Cleanliness?

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  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I did wonder if he he had problems, such as with mental health (I'm not saying he has but it is a consideration). I'd always be willing to help someone in that position.



    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    elainebadknee wrote:
    Linda

    I dont think I am judging, a bit of mess is fine and all but if youre taking someone back to your home you do make an effort...Be it small or not...I couldnt be dirty, I do my cleaning in spurts.....

    Elainex

    I, too, do my best but I really believe some people don't see the mess or muck they're living in as their brain isn't wired that way and I think probably your friend is one of those people.

    One of my friends lived like that (she's passed away now) but she was the loveliest person in the world and that's what counts. Your friend obviously isn't bothered by his surroundings otherwise he wouldn't have invited you back. I'm sure, to him, it's just his home. :)

    Luv,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Rob

    No in answer to your question....It wouldnt change my opinion if he did however, maybe would spur him to pick up the bleach or duster!!!

    Elainex
    robertls wrote:
    Just hope your 'mate' doesn't read this forum........

    Or I fear you will be one 'mate' less........

    Rob x a045.gif
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Elizabeth

    I dont know yet if he has but he has a good job at the local Heinz factory as a computer analyst and works as a freelance photographer.....Like I say I would offer to help and even commented why did he have a bottle of coke in his bathroom, which he said was for cleaning he had seen it as a tip on tv! I thought it may have prompted a "havent had time to do the loo, its a state" but it was awful, complete with faeces in the toilet bowl which i find disgusting...

    Elainex
    tkachev wrote:
    I did wonder if he he had problems, such as with mental health (I'm not saying he has but it is a consideration). I'd always be willing to help someone in that position.



    Elizabeth
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Linda

    Well he shocked me by saying he would take me to show round "his pad"...He seemed proud and his parents live in a lovely house, spotless so he wasnt brought up that way either...I dont know why he has allowed it to get into this state....
    I feel sorry for the house it deserves some TLC...

    Elainex
    I, too, do my best but I really believe some people don't see the mess or muck they're living in as their brain isn't wired that way and I think probably your friend is one of those people.

    One of my friends lived like that (she's passed away now) but she was the loveliest person in the world and that's what counts. Your friend obviously isn't bothered by his surroundings otherwise he wouldn't have invited you back. I'm sure, to him, it's just his home. :)

    Luv,[/quote]
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    One of my brothers never did any housework, even when he moved out as my Mum would go and do it all for him. We used to tell her he was old enough to do his own housework but she wouldn't have it.Mum has gone now, he runs his own business but still doesn't do any housework! He is clueless.

    I would say your friend just doesn't know where to start. But of course it is difficult to broach the subject without sounding critical of his lifestyle-as Linda said his brain probablyisn't wired that way.

    E x
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Elizabeth

    Yes youre probably right i just think its a shame and wouldnt take a huge effort, all you have to do is a wee bit every 3 or so days? As i have numerous allergies, house and dust mites being the bad ones, I will have to make excuses if get invited to house again...I felt quite ill afterwards..

    Elainex
    tkachev wrote:
    One of my brothers never did any housework, even when he moved out as my Mum would go and do it all for him. We used to tell her he was old enough to do his own housework but she wouldn't have it.Mum has gone now, he runs his own business but still doesn't do any housework! He is clueless.

    I would say your friend just doesn't know where to start. But of course it is difficult to broach the subject without sounding critical of his lifestyle-as Linda said his brain probablyisn't wired that way.

    E x
  • suncatcher
    suncatcher Member Posts: 2,174
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    My house gets a good clean in the school holidays when everyone is home to help. I try too keep the house as best i can in between bathroom and kitchen a priority but i am well under standard of what i once could do.
    I do not any longer invite people home and will never do because they are house proud snobs. I long for a person who would say to me i came to see you not your house. i do not believe these people exist.
    In America i once read a person with arthritis had on their door this sign
    "If you have come to see my house make an appointment"
    "if you have come to see me you are welcome anytime"
    Joanne
  • lynnmick
    lynnmick Member Posts: 72
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    ive heard that coca cola is good for removing limescale thats probably why the coke bottle was in the bathroom, but he obviously hadnt tried it :lol:
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Suncatcher

    Well each to their own and as I was taken there and it was so very dirty everywhere I couldnt help but see it...Bit different if one area is a bit of a mess, we've all closed doors to rooms that are a bit of a tip but when I get the guided tour then well it was so in my face.....I dont think its about being a snob, im far from that, again to repeat what ive said its about basic hygiene....

    Elainex

    suncatcher wrote:
    My house gets a good clean in the school holidays when everyone is home to help. I try too keep the house as best i can in between bathroom and kitchen a priority but i am well under standard of what i once could do.
    I do not any longer invite people home and will never do because they are house proud snobs. I long for a person who would say to me i came to see you not your house. i do not believe these people exist.
    In America i once read a person with arthritis had on their door this sign
    "If you have come to see my house make an appointment"
    "if you have come to see me you are welcome anytime"
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Lynn

    Well he mustve done once upon a time cos I asked why it was in the loo, joking and he said to me its good for putting down the loo to get it clean? Shouldve looked at the expiry date on it, couldve been last years!!!

    Elainex
    lynnmick wrote:
    ive heard that coca cola is good for removing limescale thats probably why the coke bottle was in the bathroom, but he obviously hadnt tried it :lol:
  • Colin1
    Colin1 Member Posts: 1,769
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I think there is a difference
    You can have clean and tidy but still lived in
    I carry the white gloves with me at all times, if i find dust in the house Mrs C recieves a beating.
    Colin
    WHEN GOD GIVES YOU LEMONS MAKE LEMONADE
  • marrianne
    marrianne Member Posts: 1,161
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Good for you Colin :lol: ,I have to admit to hoovering around stuff ,my moving the furniture days are long gone after all its only bits of dead skin 8) Marrianne :)
  • marrianne
    marrianne Member Posts: 1,161
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I have to admit though Elaine has got a point ,reminds me of the lady who ran out of milk for the cuppas and went to the cats saucer for some or the lady who sucked the chocolate of the brazil nuts and handed them round , Some good tips re the coca/cola and loved Suncatchers door sign ,or you know its dirty when you wipe your feet on the way out ,Marrianne :)
  • suncatcher
    suncatcher Member Posts: 2,174
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Sorry i was not caling you a snob. You sound a nice person. I just hope your friend has not got depression as he may not care about his house because of that. joanne
    Joanne
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Joanne

    Its fine I just didnt want the wrong impression given...I can handle mess and stuff its normal but caked on dirt isnt....
    Im not sure about my friend as we've only caught up after 15years but as yet I dont see a good excuse for it apart from laziness....

    Elainex
    suncatcher wrote:
    Sorry i was not caling you a snob. You sound a nice person. I just hope your friend has not got depression as he may not care about his house because of that. joanne
  • suncatcher
    suncatcher Member Posts: 2,174
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    It is hard to see why a person would live like this. I have watched the hoarding programs and they keep every thing. Cat dogs are milling round amongst rubbish and poop and you cannot understand why. Then it turns out they have ocd, depression.
    Do you think you would visit again ?
    I know one person with depresion whos house is a mess, His cloths caked in dirt and he smells. He has said his family tell him to bath, lose weight. He is trying with bath thing. He still smells as he dont wash his cloths. He comes to our groups we are friendly to him. It is hard to know how to help. It is an illness. We are just trying to be a friend to him. He gets abuse off others.
    It is hard.
    joanne
    Joanne
  • bubbles
    bubbles Member Posts: 6,508
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Friends used to call me Hyacinth Bouquet, back in the days when I could clean for England. Coming from a strict nurse training, I guess it was drummed into us from day one.
    I am less able, therefore I can do what I can reach, then OH takes over and between us we are quite houseproud, but not to the point that there is never a thing out of place. Kitchen, bathrooms, have to be very clean, or I would not settle.
    I have been in friends houses that read just the same. I have been known to set to with the bleach and cloths, not meaning any wrong, I would just rather be able to sit down and drink a cup of T from a clean cup. :shock:
    XX Aidan (still known as Bubbles).
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Bubbles

    Oh the thing about drinking tea out of a clean cup makes me wince...I did have a drink of water in his house and was looking at the glass discretely seeing if it was clean...He did show me a cuddly toy and found it funny but it was all stained and horrible with black stains on it...

    URGH!

    I aint no Hyacinth but am just clean, normal clean!

    Elainex
    bubbles wrote:
    Friends used to call me Hyacinth Bouquet, back in the days when I could clean for England. Coming from a strict nurse training, I guess it was drummed into us from day one.
    I am less able, therefore I can do what I can reach, then OH takes over and between us we are quite houseproud, but not to the point that there is never a thing out of place. Kitchen, bathrooms, have to be very clean, or I would not settle.
    I have been in friends houses that read just the same. I have been known to set to with the bleach and cloths, not meaning any wrong, I would just rather be able to sit down and drink a cup of T from a clean cup. :shock:
  • bubbles
    bubbles Member Posts: 6,508
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Elaine, you were very brave. I remember being invited to dinner, as I worked with the husband, he was a nurse too, (a mucky one I might add, until I trained him right). Well, the wife was no better, laundry all over, nowhere to sit, kitchen table piled hight with trammel and just enough space to eat. Dog they had was always so excited to see you, it wee'd on the spot. When the T towel went on the floor, I nearly had to be scooped up. :shock: :shock: :o I made some hasty excuses, forced a cup of T down and then left, straight home, to bleach myself from head to toe.

    Hyacinth is still lurking in my psyche.
    XX Aidan (still known as Bubbles).
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh Bubbles

    That sounds like sheer and utter laziness and slothness at its height...I would have turned green me and couldnt have drunk any tea, woudlve said i was ill...To rhink he's a nurse...URGH!!

    Elainex
    bubbles wrote:
    Hi Elaine, you were very brave. I remember being invited to dinner, as I worked with the husband, he was a nurse too, (a mucky one I might add, until I trained him right). Well, the wife was no better, laundry all over, nowhere to sit, kitchen table piled hight with trammel and just enough space to eat. Dog they had was always so excited to see you, it wee'd on the spot. When the T towel went on the floor, I nearly had to be scooped up. :shock: :shock: :o I made some hasty excuses, forced a cup of T down and then left, straight home, to bleach myself from head to toe.

    Hyacinth is still lurking in my psyche.
  • Colin1
    Colin1 Member Posts: 1,769
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I'm up early this morning to carry out my inspection of the house and gardens. Put on my white gloves and found dust under the TV i'm not happy about that, Mrs C says if i could get a smaller TV as the 50inch is so hard to move. I to;ld her to stop making excuses and get the house cleaned properley. Also found a spoon in with the forks in the crockery draw I cant tell her enough how important spoons are to me and she just scatters the damn things round willy nilly. Outside there seemed to be a problem with the lawn i dont understand its only one and a half acres why cant she get it right she complains it takes her three days to cut the grass because of the trapped nerv in her leg. I got my tape meauser out and found that some of the grass was longer than i allow i will not have grass over 1 inch long so i told her to get it cut again. I'm so exhausted i need a lie down
    Colin
    WHEN GOD GIVES YOU LEMONS MAKE LEMONADE
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Colin1 wrote:
    I'm up early this morning to carry out my inspection of the house and gardens. Put on my white gloves and found dust under the TV i'm not happy about that, Mrs C says if i could get a smaller TV as the 50inch is so hard to move. I to;ld her to stop making excuses and get the house cleaned properley. Also found a spoon in with the forks in the crockery draw I cant tell her enough how important spoons are to me and she just scatters the damn things round willy nilly. Outside there seemed to be a problem with the lawn i dont understand its only one and a half acres why cant she get it right she complains it takes her three days to cut the grass because of the trapped nerv in her leg. I got my tape meauser out and found that some of the grass was longer than i allow i will not have grass over 1 inch long so i told her to get it cut again. I'm so exhausted i need a lie down
    Colin


    :lol:
    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I'm not dirty nor messy but not obsessively clean either. I think there's more to life than a spotless house but equally, would not like to live in a tip. So, I'm on the fence! :lol:
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    to be honest the house is not as clean as i would like and needs decorating there are dishes that are going to wait till i get home tonight as i ache and work comes first then energy left will do the chores so any one who wants to clean and decorate i will provide tea (tea towels are clean no dog lol) val
    val
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