Migs friend

mig

Thought i would start a new thread so those that are interested can catch up.First let me tell you about me and my friend,we meet when we both started work after leaving school (16) i was her bridesmaid and she was mine,her husband (spit) was her one and only boyfriend from the age of thirteen,they moved to cornwall when their daughters were 9 and 12 ,he brought a half share in a taxi company,she worked in a shop and did the books till the company was making a good living for all concerned.So life went on till the split.She went to the bank with the eldest daughter they discovered he had sold his share of the business some months ago and cashed in his private pensions,he didn't touch the joint account and there is enough money in for the moment,on the banks advise they went to the solisitors who they were told as they were acting for him as he wants a divoice (don't know what grounds yet) so they had to find another one who they are seeing at the end of next week.They eldest daughter is 44 and supporting her mother,the younger is 41 and still maintains it must be something her mum has done ,i guess she's hurting in her own way and lashing out.He is apparently somewhere in france.The other woman is the same age as my friend and dumped her family as well. Mig

barbara12

Oh Mig
That is awful ..for want of a better word, your poor friend must be distraught..sadly this is a story I have heard before, my lovely neighbor had more or less the same done to her, and her son sided with him, and her daughter sided with her.
her husband got away with all of his pension, that she had been paying into.
Who knows maybe he will have the same done to him with the new lady in his life, I am a great believer in you get back what you put in.

julie47

Mig I really don't know what to say except how terrible for your poor friend.

I feel really sad for her

Love Juliepf x

LignumVitae

How cold and calculated can you get?! What a rotten pair. Let's hope Barbara is correct and karmic forces will out. Two families shredded and dumped- how could you?! Your poor friend, I'm not sure how you cope with that other than taking solace in your daughter and good friend Mig. I hope her other daughter calms down and sees things more clearly soon. LV xx

ruby2

Oh Mig it seems this was a well thought out plan..how awful for your friend.
She will probably replay the last few months many times to try to make sense of it all.
Your support will be invaluable...I was once advised to remain neutral (whilst still being supportive) in a similar situation ...and they did get back together...so was glad I had.
But as a friend I think you can judge if that might be the case.

Good luck with all you need to do, good friends are hard to find.

frogmorton

The betrayal your friend feels must be HUGE

I wish I could give her a hug and tell her that her daughter will see sense in the end - she really IS hurting and her Father isn't near enough to take the flack so Mum gets it - Mum's often do

The solicitor should be able to claim something back for her out of the business for definite I would have thought. The deception this man has practised astounds me!! As Ruby said - it was a well thought out plan wasn't it?

((())) for you so you can keep on supporting her and telling her she did nothing wrong

Love

Toni xxx

joanlawson

If their two daughters are in their 40s, your friend and her husband must be in their 60s at least, so it seems very sad for this to happen at this stage in their lives. It doesn't seem that he's gone off with a younger woman either. Maybe he's having a mid-life crisis, but a bit later than average. Some men worry about getting older, and they think the grass is greener and it will keep them young ( it rarely does )

It happened to a neighbour of ours, but after a while the husband came crawling back and wanted to come home again. However, his wife had found a new independence, so didn't want him back. He was dumped by his mistress and his wife, so ended up a lonely old man.

I hope things will work out financially and with your friend's daughter. I can't see why she should be blaming her mother when it's her father who's betrayed his wife, but it's very difficult for children, even when they're adults. They are in the middle with divided loyalties.

Your friendship and support will be invaluable to your friend at this distressing time for her, mig.

tkachev

Having been through it myself and knowing hindsight is a good thing I hope she will do some block on the joint account.The best thing would be to open a single account in her name and transfer it all over. My husband and I had a joint account which he blocked so all the money was frozen until the final settlement some 3 years later. He liquidated our company without my knowledge-even as a director I wasn't told anything and had to find out for myself.

She needs to be very wary and strong and not give him an inch with the property making sure her solicitor knows how much he has already taken and taking into account.

I was very lucky I had most of the savings in my sole name so was allowed to make necessary purchases for my daughters and also buy myself a car. without that I'd have been at his beck-and-call which is no better than being married. Your friend needs to be as ruthless as he has been.

Elizabeth

joanlawson

Very sound advice from Elizabeth.