return to work exactly as I predicted! :(

frogmella

Hi,

Sorry to have a moan but I really need to just get this stuff out!

I returned to my teaching job last week after being off for a total of 14 months. I am a Chemistry teacher and am part time. I should have been about 65% most of last year as my HOD was off on adoption leave but have had my hours reduced to 25% this year as a result of falling numbers. I only work half days and we are on a two week time table and one week I do mornings and the other afternoons.

I knew it was going to be tough going back, every GP visit last year I told my lovely GP what they were like and how it had been after I went back after my fusion surgery. I felt better after my injections last May and did try and go back after half term but they forced me to stay sick until I saw Occ Health. I saw Occ Health just before the end of term and she said I was fine to go back then. I wanted to go in that side of the summer to get all this emotional stuff out of the way before the start of the new year when the injections would be wearing off (they are). I did tell them this but was ignored. It would also have been helpful to have got my ducks in a row before I went back. Never mind, what is done is done.

Anyway, the first day I just went in for the afternoon, no way I could do sitting for a whole day with my latest nerve pain! I showed my face about and had a few superficial conversations.

I went to science and it is just like I have never been away, nothing wrong with me, just get on with it. As long as you give the kids the information that will do. I mentioned that I was taking drugs and that they make me a bit funny loads of times. No interest at all. The perch stool, the only thing OccHealth wanted me to have - not there! No one has asked me how I am getting on, if I need anything etc etc. Nothing at all.

Then of course there are all the things I know that they will have been saying. The head of science always slates people who are off sick as skivers etc, his wife joins in and a few others do too. There is one nice member of the dept and we had a conversation on Tuesday where it became apparent that they had been discussing how I never make it through a year! In April 2009 my disc went and I was off sick in the acute pain phase for the rest of that year. I dare anybody to have worked through that pain! The next year I had my fusion and was off for 11 weeks, three of which were holiday, then my mom died and I was pretty much forced to go sick if I wanted to have any part in the funeral arrangements and then my back locked up and I took three days off. So 2009 -2010 wasn't brilliant! But 2010-2011 I started the Sept with a leaking scar - this is when my infection tale really began. I went in anyway. I was on two sorts of strong antibiotics, upset stomach etc, and felt like death but went in everyday, this went on until about Oct half term on and off. Then the infection went away for a bit but came back at Easter. Again I went in every day. I was in pain, ill, etc etc. That year I went in every day. Not sure why I bothered now.

But the thing that is getting my goat about all of this is that they have spotted a problem - I go off because of my back sometimes. But they are doing nothing to see that it doesn't happen again. They are just sitting about making bets about how long I last this time.

As you can tell I am really angry at the moment. Not hurt, I had already decided they were people I work with not friends, but soooo angry. Do they think this has been fun for me? I spent a massive part of last year believeing the infection was still there, but in my bone, and that I might die! I have been very depressed, in pain, lonely etc etc. There is no way I could have gone to work for the timetable I had last year.

Of course, I am now having a return to pain so am having to deal with the drugs, pain, tiredness etc and I could really do without all this rubbish too.

Sorry to have such a rant, and thanks for listening.

Helen
xx

Petitesse

Aww Helen, I am so sorry to hear your story. I fully understand how angry you must be!
What a rotten way to be treated. To not be believed or cared for after all you have been through. And even making bets!? What a disgusting behaviour! :shock:
I wish I could go to your workplace and wack them all over the shins with my crutches!! :x
I really sympathise with you.

Tons of warm (((HUGS))) for you.

stickywicket

I’m sorry it’s been such a difficult return, frogmella. My experience of school staff rooms is very, very long ago but it sounds as if little has changed. Everyone is busy with their own little world, and staff absences are noted in relation to how much more work results for everyone else (either teaching or supervising) rather than any concern for the sick person. Very bitchy places.

Having said that, I guess it’s not up to the other members of staff to deal with your problems. Occy Health recommended certain measures and they were not put into place. I don’t know who Occy Health should have liaised with – your head of department? Head teacher? – but I’d contact them, chase it up and sort it out asap.

It must have been hard for you. I guess, as a part-timer whose health problems have resulted in one or two absences, you probably feel a bit marginalised to start off with. However, it looks as if you’re going to have to fight your own corner here. I wish you luck.

barbara12

gosh Helen
Like you I am so glad you had that rant, you really did need that.
Its disgraceful how people like you that want to work and will do in severe pain get know help or very little.
I for one would go back to Oc health, you cant go on like this, or you will be adding to your back probs.
Some people find it so easy to judge others, I do think this is life...its very sad , I get it from one of my neighbours that I considered to be a good friend, who knows maybe there time will come.
But for now the one to worry about his not them but you, please do what is best for you and not what they think you should be doing
And dont forget we are always here for, and we do understand some of what you are going through.
You take care...you are a much better person than the ones judging you.xx

dreamdaisy

The healthy will never understand the long-term sickly and the problems they face. The healthy catch a bug, go to the doc, take pills and get better. Lucky sods. We go to the docs, take pills and don't get better - sometimes we can't get our heads around that so it must be much harder for healthy people.

Being part-time is never that easy as you don't get to see the full gamut of life in the staffroom. I found (as a primary teacher) that those who had been doing it for a good long while thought in similar ways to their young charges. :roll: I can't see any reason why colleagues would be interested in you and your health, as Sticky said they will be bothered by their own concerns and you're not 'one of them'. It's not right that the OH recommendations have not been implemented so I think you will have to do some chasing on that front. Keep yourself aloof from the staff, you need the job but not the extra hassle of dealing with their immaturity and sniping. DD

frogmella

Awwww, thank you so much for all of your support. I am going to e - mail the bursar re my perch stool (then there is a paper trail that I asked at least) and I think I will ask who is in charge of overseeing my return to work so that I can arrange my back to work chat. That might kick them into doing something!

I am keeping myself aloof DD, I worked out that that was the only way I could go back to a dept that hadn't talked to me for a whole year! I have built a mental wall and I stay right behind it !

As far as other staff members dealing with my problems - I don't think I particularly want them to deal with them as such, just would like them to actually be aware that I have them. As no one is asking me about things I can't see how they can know. If you see what I mean? We don't have occ health in house so I am not sure really who I am supposed to talk to about these matters.

Thanks again, it is good to have some folks out there who understand.

Helen
xx

Soretoe2

Hi Helen, just wanted to add my sympathies. What a horrible experience and reaction from people who are your colleagues and really should know better.
I don't know if it's because people are afraid of illness and health problems or if the human race is losing it's humanity these days but I find that more and more people in general are really not as kind or compassionate as they were in the past.
Stay strong and find out what your options are in way of equipment to help you in your daily routine. It must be so hard for you.
Take care of yourself, Joy.

LignumVitae

Good luck, keep calm and carry on. If you keep going your colleagues will eventually turn from comments of derision to comments of admiration because you'll be doing what they can't imagine doing - living when life gets hard, carrying on and walking tall. Arthritis is a lonely road sometimes, I know I've felt like I was causing a scene and wanting to be special at work sometimes but every time that happened it ended up being worth it, I got the aids, support or changes which meant I could keep going. Keep fighting your corner, stay strong and you'll get there. LV xx

Emily

Work colleagues can be suck pigs. The have not got a clue until it happens to them.

I had occupational health recommendation but employer ignored it as well, I got access to work involved and they were wonderful and made recommendations but it took employer 2 years to purchase the equipment. Had two accidents at work and now thinking of going to see NWNF solicitors for injuries not making adjustments and for accident that will make them take notice. :!: :!:

frogmella

Thanks again!

This board is just so supportive.

If I worked in a different department things would be different I think. Just that the Science dept is in a different building, out of the way, and so nobody outside the dept sees me. My friend is returning after a maternity leave and other health complications and she is based near the main building. She has people asking her if she is OK, does she need anything all day! Her HOD asks her specifically about her condition and if she needs particular help. Such a difference in the same institution!

LV- thanks for letting me know that you have felt the same but that "causing a scene" can be worth it.
Emily - Occ Health mentioned access to work, but I only need a £200 perch stool at the moment so well below the £1000 limit. I might end up pushing if my e mail doesn't work tho.

It is difficult when I have just "sucked it up" for the last two years in work after my fusion but before the hardware removal. They all knew I was suffering, even told them I was making mistakes due to infection making me stupid but was told it was better to be there than have a supply teacher. I don't think they will ever get to the admiration stage! I spent much of the 2010-2011 year just going to work and not managing to do anything else in my life. I don't want to get back there, especially on only 25%. Life is too short to be so miserable. I suppose I am afraid of feeling like that again having been so depressed last year too. I feel a bit like I am teetering on the edge. It's like I don't have the energy for another battle.
I had to fight to get this diagnosis, I had to fight to get the surgeon to believe I had an infection! Since my fusion three years ago all I did was fight and I am all fought out! Sorry, bit more of a moan!

Anyway, it is my day off today and I am going to enjoy it! Off for my swim in a bit (docs and physio orders!) and then got to do a bit of shopping. Then BBQ for tea! So a good day I think! I hope you all have good days.

Helen

frogmella

Hi again!

I did e mail the bursar to ask where my stool was and how to arrange my back to work talk. I was so scared that I was stirring that shook for an hour afterwards! The reply was comedy really! Apparently he thought the chair that he had supplied for the workroom was enough and couldn't I use that in the classroom. I teach in a lab! He said that my line manager should be doing my btw stuff and he just guessed at who that was and copied them into his reply. I still haven't had a meeting arranged.

But, on a positive, one of the women in the dept who I had thought was slating me was really nice to me yesterday. The only one who has asked how I am, said she doesn't know how I cope, felt sorry for me etc. I nearly died! It was the first time anyone in there had shown any care. So I don't feel quite as bad about the whole dept any more! Maybe you are correct and the rest may follow suit, espescially as some of them overheard our conversation.

I am really struggling despite my really short hours. I am having awful nerve pain at night again and am exhausted most of the time. I am upping my gabapentin dose to see if that will help a bit.

Anyway, I thought I should share the good with the bad!

Hope you have a good Day

Helen
x

stickywicket

It sounds like a classic example of the old adage 'Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by cock-up'. Well, at least things are on the move, frogmella. I hope the trend will be upwards.

frogmorton

Oh I AM pleased someone has finally shown some empathy for you Helen

Let's hope this is the start of better times for you.

My fingers are crossed and if you are allowed to up the gabapentins I think it has to be worth a try.

Love

Toni xx

frogmella

Thanks stickywicket and frogmorton! Maybe I have been a little paranoid, :oops: , but I didn't hear from any of them in the whole time I was off so I thought the worst. Maybe my depression didn't help either.

I really hope the trend is upwards too! I could use some good luck about now.

Off to pilates now. Got to keep plugging away at the things that should help.

nearlybionic

Hi Helen
I understand your `paranoia`, as I am going through similar feelings at the moment. I have had several lengthy periods of sickness over the past 4 years. And am anticipating more soon, with possible further surgery on the horizon. When I was off for 12 months, I barely heard from my colleagues, which made me feel ignored, and then thought they were fed up of me being off and increasing their workload. They are supportive when I am at work, but to be honest at times like now, when we are short staffed and overworked, they try not to ask how I am, probably worried that I will actually tell them! And that I will ask them to tke on some of my work. My manager is good, so far. But I am not looking forward to my colleagues reaction whan they find out I am probably going to be off again, knowing the impact it will have on them.
But I like you can and must look after our own intersts and health, and if that sometimes means time off, or asking for help, so be it.
I hope your perching stool has arrived. If not, have you asked OT for one yourself? Sometimes it is easier to sort things yourself. I did that with my raised loo seat at work.
I hope that things get easier for you xx
NB

dreamdaisy

I think it's rare for people one works with to also be one's friends. Colleagues are just that, people with whom you spend a few hours each day, maybe socialise with once in an occasional while but not people who are going to be ringing you up on a regular basis to see how you're doing. That's what family and friends do (hopefully) but those you know through the accident of employment? I work as a private tutor and sometimes become very involved with families of the children I teach but when I've had weeks off due to recovering from surgery not one of them rang me to see how I was - why would they? Out of sight out of mind is so very true. It would seem, however, that both of you are finding that things are slowly improving and that can only be a good thing. DD

JuliaHod12

forgmella

Since 2010 I have had several bouts of time off sick due to the problems with my knees.
In 2010/2011 I had 3 arthroscopies and a total of about 6 months off work...........i was paranoid about losing my job and about my colleagues thinking i was milking it.
At the same time i had a terrible time with my line manager.she was a complete bitch to me at work and although we sat next to each other, she would email me with niggling little complaints, and saying my performance was affected by my being too quiet (usually on a bad pain day) slowly eroding any confidence i had, openly criticising me in the open plan office, yet emailing me to congratulate me for things i had achieved, no wonder i was confused and depressed! :-( this all came to a head in March 2010 and i reported the matter to HR..........i know she was spoken to but nothing was ever said.
In 2011 i had the most time off waiting for surgery on NHS and eventually went private, returned to work briefly but had another bout of time off in Sept 2011........all this time the woman was a cow and kept asking when i was returning to work.

March 2012 i have more time off and return to work explaining i need a TKR.........complete sea change and i thought the woman must have had a lobotomy or something, but the change has been so drastic......she even started picking me up to bring me in to work each morning.........! I now know its because she felt overwhelmed covering my work as well as hers...........and has realised my worth in the office! It is almost pleasant to be back at work now!