Headlines you can expect to see
joanlawson
Member Posts: 8,681
I saw this in today's paper and it made me smile:
Headlines you can expect to see in the months ahead:
1. Dr Hannibal Lecter Named Chairman of General Medical Council
2. Wind Turbine Spotted Turning
3 Man Over 50 Remembers Computer Password
4. David Beckham Wins Celebrity Mastermind
5. Stella McCartney Designs Dress That Fits
6. Man Over 50 Successfully Operates Self-Service Check-Out
7. George Osborne Launches Charm Offensive
8. Victoria Beckham Gets Giggles
9.Boy, 15, Gets Up Before 8am
10. Publisher Says No to Book About Beatles
11. Nancy dell’Olio: ‘I’ll Make Myself Scarce’
12.Tarantino To Direct Mary Poppins Sequel
13. Keith Richards Named as New James Bond
14. Rap Singer Makes Words Rhyme
15. Duke of York Catches Bus, Pays Full Fare
16.HM Queen Dons Jeans and T-Shirt for State Opening
17.Marks and Spencer Boss: ‘Beige Is So Last Year’
18. Man Over 50 Stops His Car, Asks Directions
19. Man Over 50 Listens Carefully As Local Gives Directions
20.Child Finishes Bowl of Muesli, Asks for More
21 Loch Ness Monster Admits: ‘I Don’t Exist’
22. Girl, 15, Prefers Staring into Space to Talking on Mobile
23. Train Company Sacrifices Profits to Make Journeys More Roomy, More Comfortable
24. Sausage ‘Cooked All the Way Through’ on Barbecue
25. Family Monopoly Game Concludes Without Major Dispute
Joan
Headlines you can expect to see in the months ahead:
1. Dr Hannibal Lecter Named Chairman of General Medical Council
2. Wind Turbine Spotted Turning
3 Man Over 50 Remembers Computer Password
4. David Beckham Wins Celebrity Mastermind
5. Stella McCartney Designs Dress That Fits
6. Man Over 50 Successfully Operates Self-Service Check-Out
7. George Osborne Launches Charm Offensive
8. Victoria Beckham Gets Giggles
9.Boy, 15, Gets Up Before 8am
10. Publisher Says No to Book About Beatles
11. Nancy dell’Olio: ‘I’ll Make Myself Scarce’
12.Tarantino To Direct Mary Poppins Sequel
13. Keith Richards Named as New James Bond
14. Rap Singer Makes Words Rhyme
15. Duke of York Catches Bus, Pays Full Fare
16.HM Queen Dons Jeans and T-Shirt for State Opening
17.Marks and Spencer Boss: ‘Beige Is So Last Year’
18. Man Over 50 Stops His Car, Asks Directions
19. Man Over 50 Listens Carefully As Local Gives Directions
20.Child Finishes Bowl of Muesli, Asks for More
21 Loch Ness Monster Admits: ‘I Don’t Exist’
22. Girl, 15, Prefers Staring into Space to Talking on Mobile
23. Train Company Sacrifices Profits to Make Journeys More Roomy, More Comfortable
24. Sausage ‘Cooked All the Way Through’ on Barbecue
25. Family Monopoly Game Concludes Without Major Dispute
Joan
0
Comments
-
Like em all Joan,David Beckham mastermind champion!! :shock: Mig0
-
it's No 2 for me.0
-
No. 18 for me! Thanks for the giggle, Joan. DDHave you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben0
-
Hi Joan
Maybe some of them, but num 9...will never happen...and that goes for girls has well....Love
Barbara0 -
No 18 will never happen Joan
Thanks for those
Love
toni xxx0 -
Glad you liked them.
I like number 8 about Victoria Beckham. Why does she always look so miserable when she's got David, four beautiful children, and loads of money :?:
Here's a few more headlines:
!. Harry to be stripped and get severe dressing gown
2. Harry gets his kit on- to go to war
3. Cabinet reshuffle confirmed as Mr Cameron is taken away to help police with enquiries
4. Burgled Man Calls Police and Orders Pizza - Pizza Arrives First
5.The whole of London to be converted to runways
6.County to pay £250,000 to advertise lack of funds
7. Police raid gun shop, find weapons0 -
Some gems there, Joan. I rather liked the honesty of the Loch Ness Monster.
I do actually know a man who will ask for directions. No, not Mr SW (Perish the thought!) but an ex-bus-driver.If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright0 -
I enjoyed those too Joan
It is no 6 for me OH will be 50 shortly and always complains at self serv checkouts as he says the pay part and receipt and change are always in the wrong place
As for victoria beckham does she not smile to prevent wrinkles happening
0
Categories
- All Categories
- 21 Welcome
- 18 How to use your online community
- 3 Help, Guidelines and Get in Touch
- 11.7K Our Community
- 9.3K Living with arthritis
- 139 Hints and Tips
- 219 Work and financial support
- 752 Chat to our Helpline Team
- 6 Want to Get Involved?
- 393 Young people's community
- 11 Parents of Children with Arthritis
- 38 My Triumphs
- 122 Let's Move
- 30 Sports and Hobbies
- 19 Food and Diet
- 359 Chit chat
- 242 Coronavirus (COVID-19)
- 30 Community Feedback and ideas