Headlines you can expect to see

joanlawson
joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
edited 10. Sep 2012, 10:51 in Community Chit-chat archive
I saw this in today's paper and it made me smile:

Headlines you can expect to see in the months ahead:

1. Dr Hannibal Lecter Named Chairman of General Medical Council

2. Wind Turbine Spotted Turning

3 Man Over 50 Remembers Computer Password

4. David Beckham Wins Celebrity Mastermind

5. Stella McCartney Designs Dress That Fits

6. Man Over 50 Successfully Operates Self-Service Check-Out

7. George Osborne Launches Charm Offensive

8. Victoria Beckham Gets Giggles

9.Boy, 15, Gets Up Before 8am

10. Publisher Says No to Book About Beatles

11. Nancy dell’Olio: ‘I’ll Make Myself Scarce’

12.Tarantino To Direct Mary Poppins Sequel

13. Keith Richards Named as New James Bond

14. Rap Singer Makes Words Rhyme

15. Duke of York Catches Bus, Pays Full Fare

16.HM Queen Dons Jeans and T-Shirt for State Opening

17.Marks and Spencer Boss: ‘Beige Is So Last Year’

18. Man Over 50 Stops His Car, Asks Directions

19. Man Over 50 Listens Carefully As Local Gives Directions

20.Child Finishes Bowl of Muesli, Asks for More

21 Loch Ness Monster Admits: ‘I Don’t Exist’

22. Girl, 15, Prefers Staring into Space to Talking on Mobile

23. Train Company Sacrifices Profits to Make Journeys More Roomy, More Comfortable

24. Sausage ‘Cooked All the Way Through’ on Barbecue

25. Family Monopoly Game Concludes Without Major Dispute

Joan :D
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Comments

  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,154
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Like em all Joan,David Beckham mastermind champion!! :shock: :lol: Mig
  • daylily
    daylily Member Posts: 619
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    it's No 2 for me.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    No. 18 for me! :lol: Thanks for the giggle, Joan. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Joan
    Maybe some of them, but num 9...will never happen...and that goes for girls has well.... :lol::lol:
    Love
    Barbara
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 30,086
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    No 18 will never happen Joan :lol:

    Thanks for those

    Love

    toni xxx
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Glad you liked them.

    I like number 8 about Victoria Beckham. Why does she always look so miserable when she's got David, four beautiful children, and loads of money :?:

    Here's a few more headlines:

    !. Harry to be stripped and get severe dressing gown

    2. Harry gets his kit on- to go to war

    3. Cabinet reshuffle confirmed as Mr Cameron is taken away to help police with enquiries

    4. Burgled Man Calls Police and Orders Pizza - Pizza Arrives First

    5.The whole of London to be converted to runways

    6.County to pay £250,000 to advertise lack of funds

    7. Police raid gun shop, find weapons
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  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Some gems there, Joan. I rather liked the honesty of the Loch Ness Monster.

    I do actually know a man who will ask for directions. No, not Mr SW (Perish the thought!) but an ex-bus-driver.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I enjoyed those too Joan :D

    It is no 6 for me :lol: OH will be 50 shortly and always complains at self serv checkouts as he says the pay part and receipt and change are always in the wrong place :lol:

    As for victoria beckham does she not smile to prevent wrinkles happening
    :lol:

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