general moan time

claire1234

ok i need to get this off my chest and thought this would be a good way of doing it without being called over dramatic or bad tempered
here goes

i am fed up of being treated like i have nothing wrong with me i have OA and have limitations at present and would just like my family to understand how i feel i have tried to talk to them and just get told that i got to keep going for my own health which i agree with most of the time but i am getting worse i cant do the weekly shop at present following the mother who has to go round the shop 3 times, i can not walk up and down stairs 15times a day nor do i want to i am one of 3 that live in this house, i am not able to do all the back garden on my own i do need help, i do what i can when i can i can not wait to get the TKA done so i can do all the things they want and expect me to and not have to worry about being a drama queen when i in pan and dont know what to do with my joints

valval

it does sound like they do not understand how lack of sleep pain and lots of other bits all add up to make life so hard can you not look at the jobs you can manage (preparing veg sat down etc) and offer to do these while others do the jobs that are impossible at moment come and let off steam when ever you need to ((())) val

JuliaHod12

oh claire :-(

i really do feel for you and totally understand.
i have OA too and have struggled for a few years and have just had a TKR (24 July) so am hoping to be back up to speed and doing things more normally before too long.

There's only me and the hubby at home now, but the housework is basically all down to me as he doesnt do much!
I gave up doing the things i couldnt manage and occasionally asked himto do the essentials, but other than that i just let things slide! :-)
My pal has been great and does my ironing for me fairly regularly.
As for the supermarket, well i havent done a weeks shop for years now, i do it online and get it delivered!

I do hope you are able to explain things to them and they help you out a bit more
Tty googling The Spoons Theory, or search for it on the forum......i know it has helped some members explain a bit better to their friends and family

love
Julia xx

claire1234

thanks guys
it helps to let off steam and mum has been to all my appointments and is a care assistant so should know better dad dont do any thing apart from go to work i even had to cook his tea tonight and will be cooking tomorrow for us all i have OCD and been trying to get mum and dad to read the stuff i was given for that for the last 5 years but now i just grit my teeth and then get called the drama queen get my date for my TKA monday so should be all good very soon. and thought this would be a good one for any one with a moan they need to get off there chest so to speak lol

Helenbothknees

Claire, not long to wait now. You get a date Monday, and once you've had your TKR, if all goes well things will be so different. I had a bilateral TKR on July 8th, and already I can do more than I'd been able to for months. But can't you get some stronger painkillers for now? I insisted to my doctor that I had to be able to get around, and I was on very strong painkillers for the last couple of months before my op, even though I had to also take stuff to cope with the side effects from the medication! It won't be for long, so they might be prepared to give you more than they otherwise would. Worth a try anyway. If not, hang in there, and come on here and tell us if you need to, because we DO understand. And if you get a date, still be prepared and flexible; I got a cancellation at two days notice, and had my TKRs two months before I expected to, and I'm so, so glad that I did!

claire1234

I have asked my GP about stronger painkillers and got told that my only option now is mophine and she dont want to give that to me as we would be going down a road that not good and sent me on my way but they are the sameones that have told me i had growing pains when my knee caps dislocated at least 3 times a week lol so now i dont bother asking my GP and not seeing my consultant now as i having my knee done at a different hospital

Helenbothknees

OK, fingers crossed you get an appointment soon for that TKR. Morphine at home is not good; I had some after my TKRs - refused to go home without it! - but I had to give it up after three days as it made me so confused I simply couldn't function; ok in hospital, pretty disastrous in everyday life. Weird stuff!

frogmorton

Hi Claire

Poor you

I am so sorry family don't always understand do they? Please do feel free to vent on here, because we DO! We don't judge either or expect each other to do things like the whole garden or cook for people.

Hang on in there is all I can say - Monday is very close now and all being well the date will be sooner rather than later for you.

Love

Toni xxx

claire1234

well went to hospital yesterday that was a waste of time as they told me after sitting for 2 hrs after my appointment time that they dont do the replacement that i need at the hospital so wasted £10 on petrol and mum lost hours at work for that now got to wait for my local hospital to send for me so they can do it as they planned to do in April grrrrrrr so back to life being on hold

stickywicket

That must have been a very frustrating afternoon all round. How on earth did they manage to refer you to a hospital that doesn't do the op That seems very inefficient on their part and very annoying for you. Roll on April, eh?

bubbadog

I used to know how you feel, I had it with my husband and mother. It took for me to be in hospital. And on one of the mornings on bed round the consultant came and saw me and I wanted to go home and he said you don't realise for you to go home a lot will have to change. So he asked to see my husband along with my Occupational thearpist and social worker. So I called my OH and he said he would beable to in the afternoon. So it was arranged. I remember the meeting like it was yesterday because of the amount of emotion it brought out in both of us. My husband was shocked and listened to what would be needed ( a downstairs toilet!) and how my day to day life would need to be. But what was more shocking was my mother turned up after the meeting finished and my OH took her away to the coffee shop I think it was and told her what had happened and how life will change. They both came back with very red eyes and my mother hugged me. I remember that because my mother had never hugged me or my sister before! The downstairs toilet was built and finished in a weekend! I still have problems with family but not as bad as it used to be. I hate to say it but it takes a medical proffesional to explain how bad you are and how your life has changed and what you can and cannot physically do. Maybe you can take one of your family with you to an appt one day and they can hear for themselfs what is wrong and how it has effected your life and they could pass it on to others?
But sometimes it takes sitting them down and giving a heart to heart of how each feels and do they understand what's wrong with yourself and how debilitating it is. (If you have leaflets show them). It maybe they are upset and trying to block it out. People deal with upset different ways, I've also learnt about that! Hope you sort it out so you can lead a happier life.

claire1234

hi all quick update

i have now had my op found out 4 weeks ago it is PFJ replacement i was having and had but wishing i had not had it done in more pain now than before and unable to do a lot more

wall1409

I really understand how you feel I have OA of the spine and am having real problems with hips, back , hands and feet now. I dont think they understand cos they arnt going through it. Maybe if they could feel the pain we feel on a daily basis then things would be different. My hubby works so wasnt around when I had OT to access the house and is never there for hospital appointments so its difficult.