An amazing woman

joanlawson

I went to a meeting of my local 50 Plus Forum today, and I got talking to an old lady of 86. She told me about her life, and I was very inspired by her story.

She was the youngest of 6 children, and when her parents split up, all the children were taken into a workhouse, which was still open at that time. Conditions were very harsh, and she received no love from anyone except her older sister. From there, she was transferred to a children's home where she was treated very badly throughout her childhood. She said that some of the worst treatment she received was at the hands of nuns. They tried to break her spirit, but she said it made her more defiant and determined.

Eventually, she joined the army, where she was raped by a soldier. When she reported it, no-one believed her and no action was taken against the man. Subsequently, she had a baby boy, but he was taken away from her and placed for adoption. But now in his 60's, he has made contact with her, which has brought her great joy.

She met a lovely man and married him, and they had two daughters, but she has now been a widow for many years. Recently, she had a stroke, but she has battled to walk again. She came to the meeting on her own in a taxi, and said that she doesn't believe in sitting at home feeling sorry for herself.

I told her how much I admired her determination and courage because she is a true survivor. She has so much inner strength, and I thought she was an incredible inspiration. Despite everything which has happened to her, she has no bitterness, and she stays positive.
It made me realise what amazing lives some of the older generation have lived.

Joan

Numptydumpty

She sounds like an extremely determined and courageous lady Joan, and I would imagine, very interesting to talk to.
All that she's been through, it almost sounds like another world, doesn't it?

valval

she sounds like many of my Gran's generation fighters each and every one of them as you say an inspiration to all the loss of my Gran was immense but know she would always want us to fight on and never give in val

joanlawson

I could have sat and listened to her talking for hours. She said that she has written a book about her life, and has promised to let me read it. It has never been published, but I think it should be.

It does seem like another world now, Numpty, but I suppose that some children still have very hard lives, and women are still raped, unfortunately. Thankfully, there are no workhouses left, except one owned by the National Trust to show people what they were like.

Val- they were a generation of fighters as they came through the war as well. We have no real concept of how hard life was in those days, so it's good to be told about it.

fowls48

Thats A lovely story Joan


Thanks for sharing it with us , i'm off to dry my tears now


Fowls xx

joanlawson

I found her story very moving too, Fowls. She has a great sense of humour, and she had me laughing as much as wanting to cry.

rugbygirl

I only hope that I can be as determined and motivated at the same age I'd love to read her book

joanlawson

I am really surprised to hear that, what sort of nuns were they - catholic or anglican?

This is contradictory to the principle of piety.

I don't know whether the nuns were Catholic or Anglican, but there was one nun in particular who was very cruel. She would order my friend to scrub the floor ( all the children were expected to do work around the children's home ) Then she would say that it wasn't done properly and she would empty the bucket of water all over the floor and also my friend. She also took off her leather belt and beat my friend with the buckle end.

You would not have expected religious people to behave like this, but sadly there have been many instances of abuse to children from priests and nuns.

joanlawson

But you know what - I personally have noticed certain patterns of behaviour - particularly among women.
They try to break somebody they don't understand in order to rebuild them according to their system of beliefs.


I don't think that women in general are guilty of this kind of behaviour, Tody, and there have been far more men throughout history who have tried to impose their system of beliefs on others. Hitler springs to mind!

joanlawson

rugbygirl wrote:

I only hope that I can be as determined and motivated at the same age I'd love to read her book

I'm hoping to read her book soon, Jaki.

That's the other amazing thing about the lady; she had little in the way of education and yet she has written a book! She puts me to shame!

stickywicket

A very inspirational lady, Joan. There is so much courage in so many people but they don't make the headlines. Perhaps it's better that way for them.

barbara12

Joan... this poor lady has gone though so much, and yet like you say she could still make you laugh, how lovely, I love to sit down with the older generation and listen to there story's..saying that I am 62...but you know what I mean, I once read a book about a young boy that was brought up with nuns, and they were so cruel , reading it I couldn't believe it was in the 1960s :shock: .
up to last year I was learning some elderly people basic computing, there was one old gentleman in particular that love to talk about himself and his family, so I got him to type it all down,he said later I really do feel better about things seeing it all wrote down, its like a weight off my shoulders..bless him..he is no longer with us, but I have a copy and gave one to his daughter , she was shocked... has he hadn't talked about it to them.
oops Im rambling again ... :oops:

joanlawson

Thanks for your replies, SW and Barbara

SW- I think that many of the older generation have inspirational stories to tell because life used to be so tough in their younger days. They are the generation who lived through the war too.

Barbara- It was lovely that you got the elderly man to write everything down before he died. People often don't like to talk about things which have happened to them in the past, so it's often a shock to their families when they discover how courageous someone has been.

The lady I spoke to hadn't told her two daughters very much about her past, but they have now read about it in her book. I imagine that they are very proud of their mother.

Christimay

Wow that truly is an amazing woman, they don't make them like that nowadays she has a kind spirit that no nun could beat out of her anyone would be proud to call her mum

joanlawson

Christimay wrote:

Wow that truly is an amazing woman, they don't make them like that nowadays she has a kind spirit that no nun could beat out of her anyone would be proud to call her mum

I feel very privileged to have met her and heard her story. She now has five grandchildren, so they must be very proud of her too.

stickywicket

You've set me thinking, Joan. There are such people at all times and in all places - people with courage, determination and strength of character who remain positive and lacking in bitterness and resentment despite facing odds that would fell many, if not most. Yet the people held up by the media for admiration are very often quite the antithesis. I wish we could redress the balance.

joanlawson

stickywicket wrote:

You've set me thinking, Joan. There are such people at all times and in all places - people with courage, determination and strength of character who remain positive and lacking in bitterness and resentment despite facing odds that would fell many, if not most. Yet the people held up by the media for admiration are very often quite the antithesis. I wish we could redress the balance.

Very true, SW. These people are the unsung heroes of our society, but they are usually very modest about their achievements in life. It strikes me that we sometimes only find out about their lives after they have died, which is very sad.

The media only seem interested in 'here today/gone tomorrow' ''celebrities'' these days.The public are partly responsible too because there seems to be an insatiable appetite for such trivia.