New to site and need a big fat moan.. Sorry
6im2laya
Member Posts: 13
Hello everyone. I'm new to this site but I'm sure I will find it helpful. Here comes the big moan to get me started and to tell my story. I'm 38 and was told I had mod/sev OA in my hips. This was 3 years ago and didn't really get anything for it. I recently went back to gp coz my knees and right shoulder were really sore. I got steroid injections in to my shoulder which made no difference. I went for X-ray of knees and shoulder last week and my doctor put me on loads of tablets diclifenic, dyhydrocodine paracetamol senna omeprazole so went from nothing to all that. I feel like an old woman with no mobility. Well I do but I hurt all the time. If I was to be offered a replacement I don't know what I would chose coz sometimes hips r worse than knees and shoulder hurts all the time. I have now just had to leave my job as a mental health nurse as it is very physical but didn't tell them that was the reason incase I ever need to get a reference from them. My moan is I feel totally useless. My husband has a brain tumour and is more physical than me. I'd live to feel my age and run about with my kids. My surgeon told me 3 years ago I needed a hip replacement but with my size (16) I'd be going on a long holiday up above if he put me under anaesthetic which I did think was a bit harsh but never mind. I'm not sore if I don't do anything but I want a life back. Why don't they offer young people a replacement if it can give them a quality of life back? Sorry for the moaning just feeling a bit low and very old with a young mind and now jobless.. I'll be happier in my next post I hope. Lol. Thanks for reading. Any advice would be helpful. I see people a lot worse than me but I'm just being a bit selfish today.
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Comments
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Hi and welcome to the forum.
As moans go, that wasn't such a big one
It takes time to come to terms with arthritis, and all the horrible meds we have to take.
You will find a lot of help and support on this forum.
You will hopefully learn to pace yourself, and make the most of what you have. In time things won't seem so bad.
Wishing you well.
Numpty0 -
Hi and a warm welcome form me
I am much older at 62, so I really do feel for you at such a young age, but you have come to the right place for support and advice.
I to was offered an hip replacement 3 years ago and said yes and changed my mind, its not an easy decision, there are quite a few young people on here, and some have had replacement joints...and some have had to fight for them because of there age.
I do understand the having to take so many meds, I try and cut them down on goodish days,or if I am staying in.
Now you stay with us then we can offer support, and having us to talk to can be a big help
You take care xxLove
Barbara0 -
Thank you both Barbra and numpty (cool name lol) think I will stay on the site. And u r also young Barbra. I don't usually let it bother me that much but for some reason today it does with being a lovely day and always benign on the side line when activity is concerned. I think I would take a replacement if offered because being a nurse I am aware of the long term effects of medication and don't like taking them. I had to come off the diclifenic as I ended up with pitted oedema and put on 9lb of water retention but has gone again now but now my pain relief doesn't seem as good. I felt like a new woman for a few days. Is it my weight that has caused this or just being a nurse in a physical job for 20 years?? Who knows0
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Hello and welcome to the forum
I had a right hip replacement when I was 58 and a size 16 and I can assure you that I am alive and kicking. I can't even begin to guess at what your surgeon was thinking when he said you would be going on a long holiday if he operated. I agree us size 16's probably do need to lose a bit of weight, but it's difficult when you are not as fit and mobile as you would want to be. My Doctor kept moaning about my weight and so one day I wrote down what I eat on a typical day and asked what I could cut out. That silenced him. Regarding knees, mine have got OA in but have been much better since having my hip replaced and my surgeon said he always works from the top. We all have bad days when we need to have a good moan, so just let off steam on the forum and we will support you.
Janet x0 -
Hi, so sorry you are suffering so much and feel so down.
You clearly have a lot on your plate at the moment, especially being a mum and having a poorly husband who probably needs a lot of support as well.
If you want a moan this is the place to do it! So many helpful and understanding people to share it all with.
I can assure you I know of loads of people size16 and more who have successful joint replacements and are younger than you. I had my first one at 16. I sometimes think they are rationing replacements these days to older people to save money and in the hope we'll die off first!!
If you are offered surgery I would take it. I have had quite a few over the years and am thankful that I have had the opportunity to have them done.
Leaving your job must have been a blow and you are certainly not selfish.
It is very hard living and adjusting to having arthritis/nerve pain and dealing with all the problems it brings.
It also takes a while to get used to taking medications on a daily basis.
Sometimes we have to chop and change them a bit until we find what suits us best.
Please try and make a little time for a quiet sit down when you are tired and try and be as upbeat as you can.
Hope you feel better soon, Joy0 -
Thanks Janet and joy. Glad people understand. Very comforting. My gp has tried to bring forwards my appointment and I am going to fight for a porcelain hip. Would last longer. I know a lot of it is getting their money's worth. I would be a bit scared to get one but would still go for it. Back to what unsaid about the weight thing. I took a loan out to get a gastric sleeve to lose weight and the dietician I went to we said I wasn't that over weight and I don't eat a great amount so would be a waste of money. Think they just didn't want to give me a new hip. Maybe he fell out with his wife that morning. Lol0
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You may well be right. When I have a grumpy consultant or the gp's a bit off I always think that his life's probably falling apart behind the scenes, or perhaps he stubbed his toe on the way in! They are only human after all.
My experience of the NHS these days is that if you don't ask you certainly don't get. None of us know what's in the future for us so I wouldn't worry too much about thinking 30 years down the line.
If you need one now you should have one now, let the furture take care of itself.
Both my granny's lived into their 90's. Both smoked like troopers, drank sherry from the barrell and ate like horses. Dad's mum was at least a size 18 all her life, made it to 98 and she had RA and asthma.
Some of us are bigger than others, I just wish the medics would appreciate that. Luckily one of our gp's is a size 18 and she is very popular with all us ladies I can tell you.
I've had lots of ops, one earlier this year. I'm always scared when they wheel me in but always glad that I did. So try not to worry about it all too much.
Good luck and take care, Joy0 -
Hi! I joined today too. Everyone is entitled to a moan! I understand where you are coming from, I'm 37 and was diagnosed with RA when I was 26. I need new knees but my weight is preventing it. I'm larger than your 16. I don't think it is so much from an anaesthetic POV, although I understand there is a greater anaesthetic risk the larger you are, but perhaps from a recovery/functionality POV. From my perspective it makes sense...if I am fat and I get new knees, the bone around the new joint will degrade faster than if I was less heavy. So I am trying to lose weight.
You also say, "Why don't they offer young people a replacement if it can give them a quality of life back?" I've asked myself the same question and have come to the conclusion that I would like to hang onto my own knees for as long as possible and deal with the pain through pain management therapies. The reason for this is simple, new joints only last an average of 10-15 years. I'd be going through the same thing again mid 50's to 60's and probably end up a couple of inches shorter as they'd have to hack off the degraded bone. Having said that, my nurse specialist told me of a 23 year old they gave a new hip to recently, so I guess it depends on your consultant and the damage to the existing joint.
You are far from useless. From your brief post I already see that you are having to cope with all of this while your husband is also ill and you have a family to care for too. It sounds to me more like you get on with what needs to be done and try and cope as best you can. Perhaps you spend a lot of time making sure everyone else is ok that you forget that you need looking after too sometimes?
One thing I have learned is that it is ok to cry, feel small, rage against the world and be selfish on occasion. I also try and concentrate on the things I can do rather than those things I can no longer do. In a way it is grotesquely fun to try and figure out a new way of doing something so it hurts less. My partner sometimes nags me that I take too long getting dressed, but then I would because I've figured out a way of getting completely dressed whilst sat down on the bed. Having said that, she will help me if something gets stuck or one of the cats runs off with my socks!
I hope the medications you have started begin to give you some relief soon.
KatPain's just nature's way of saying, 'Hey, you're alive!'
Ares in "Forget Me Not" from Xena: Warrior Princess.0 -
Hi,
Welcome to the forum.
That is one of the things that comes up time and time again.....why not let younger people have replacements and get on with their life.
I do agree that if someone is over weight ....well it does make things worse but a size 16 isnt overweight!!!!!!!!!
I'm in my 60's and have OA in one ankle, hips, lower spine and neck.
I have kypho scoliosis and Spinal stenosisas well.
I'm not a doctor but there are other things....they changed mine from diclofenic to naproxen {same family} I'm also on paracetamol and omneprozol or lansoprozol {spelling?} are important as stomach liners. {not pain killers/dullers}
Its very hard on you ...being so young and your husband being so poorly.
Eventually we learn to cope with it.
My mobility is about 10mins and thats it....I used to walk for miles {about 5 years ago} I drive so thats a help. I have a 4 wheel rollator with a seat which I can manage to put in the back of my car.
I have a scooter {mid size not really a road one} it goes in my husbands car and gets used for longer hilly journeys.....but I cant manage that myself...too heavy to take to pieces etc
Keep coming on and talking and asking questions.....between us we have a fair range of knowledge about arthritis.
You were a mental nurse? sounds weird....I was a mental subnormality nurse....even weirder
I know there is no such thing as mental subnormality now it learning difficulities. But I was trained as an RMNS trg nurse for mentally subnormals......are you an RNL?
Anyway all I was going to say is its very heavy demanding work which I'm sure didnt help either of us
Hope to hear you soon
Love
Hileena0 -
Hi everyone. Thanks everyone for your wisdom and knowledge yesterday when I was having a feel sorry for myself day. I feel a lot more positive today that some times life bites us in the bum but we just have to pick ourself up again and it's a comfort to know I'm not alone with all this. I had a wee laugh about the sock thing when getting dressed. I pay my kids 20p to put my socks on lol. They love the right of who is going to do it. Today I'm going out for a walk with my hubby and 2 dogs coz I'm feeling good and tablets in me . You all sound like ubr worse than me and feel a bit bad about my moan but I get so frustrated. The question about what kind of nurse I am halina (spelling) I'm a mental health staff nurse supervisor specialised in dementia and palliative care if that's any help. Well was !! On a brighter note of finishing work is never to work another night shift, never to work 12 hr shifts again and to be off at Xmas and new year. We all know how us scots like to celebrate that!!! I think you r right I maybe should wait and lose some weight b4 I fight for a replacement coz I'm only 4ft 11 and if you lose some length ill end up 4 ft nothing after a few of them. Well ladies and gents I will go for now on the dreaded walk will report back later . Take care all and thank again to all of u. I have new pals. Wendy xx0
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Wendy, I'd like to pick up on what you said about everyone seeming a lot worse than you. I used to feel the same way. I joined a forum about 6 years ago but then thought I wasn't that bad in comparison so left. My partner, in all her wisdom, told me not to leave this one after I told her I joined yesterday. For a start I am worse off than I was 6 years ago but she made perfect sense. No matter how bad you are or how much less crippled in comparison to others you think you are, you still have pain, frustration and are limited to what you can do. Everyone needs support.
Even now with two gammy legs and staggering about with a stick I think I am ok and not really that bad. My partner, with an outsider's eyes sees a 37 year old woman in constant pain who struggles to walk and is full of pills and injections. That person needs support. I think people with disabling problems develop ways to cope and do things and over time so the odd way you dress yourself or use the furniture as handholds or carry stuff up the stairs in your bra becomes normal for you. I do that btw, I can get my keys, pill container, phone, wallet and lip salve in my bra to free my hands for the stair rail. We forget what others see.
So everyone is entitled to a moan!
Kat
..Pain's just nature's way of saying, 'Hey, you're alive!'
Ares in "Forget Me Not" from Xena: Warrior Princess.0 -
Hello Wendy and welcome from me too. No apology needed. We all have bad days and, anyway, that was only a mini-moan so it doesn't count I won't repeat all that the others have said. Just remember it's a tough, steep learning curve and you have a lot on your plate. Go easy on yourself and come and talk to us whenever you want.archaeobard wrote:I can get my keys, pill container, phone, wallet and lip salve in my bra to free my hands for the stair rail.
Blimey! That's some bra, Kat Do you also use it for the intended purpose or is that one a spare, used solely as a rucksackIf at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright0 -
stickywicket wrote:
Blimey! That's some bra, Kat Do you also use it for the intended purpose or is that one a spare, used solely as a rucksack
For it's intended purpose, sticky, although even without the extra stuff in it it feels like a rucksack!
KatPain's just nature's way of saying, 'Hey, you're alive!'
Ares in "Forget Me Not" from Xena: Warrior Princess.0 -
Thats the one thing I enjoyed about giving up nursing,,,,,12 hr shifts and Christmas and New Year working.
You'll adapt....glad you are feeling more positive today
Love
Hileena0 -
archaeobard wrote:Hi! I joined today too. Everyone is entitled to a moan! I understand where you are coming from, I'm 37 and was diagnosed with RA when I was 26. I need new knees but my weight is preventing it. I'm larger than your 16. I don't think it is so much from an anaesthetic POV, although I understand there is a greater anaesthetic risk the larger you are, but perhaps from a recovery/functionality POV. From my perspective it makes sense...if I am fat and I get new knees, the bone around the new joint will degrade faster than if I was less heavy. So I am trying to lose weight.
You also say, "Why don't they offer young people a replacement if it can give them a quality of life back?" I've asked myself the same question and have come to the conclusion that I would like to hang onto my own knees for as long as possible and deal with the pain through pain management therapies. The reason for this is simple, new joints only last an average of 10-15 years. I'd be going through the same thing again mid 50's to 60's and probably end up a couple of inches shorter as they'd have to hack off the degraded bone. Having said that, my nurse specialist told me of a 23 year old they gave a new hip to recently, so I guess it depends on your consultant and the damage to the existing joint.
You are far from useless. From your brief post I already see that you are having to cope with all of this while your husband is also ill and you have a family to care for too. It sounds to me more like you get on with what needs to be done and try and cope as best you can. Perhaps you spend a lot of time making sure everyone else is ok that you forget that you need looking after too sometimes?
One thing I have learned is that it is ok to cry, feel small, rage against the world and be selfish on occasion. I also try and concentrate on the things I can do rather than those things I can no longer do. In a way it is grotesquely fun to try and figure out a new way of doing something so it hurts less. My partner sometimes nags me that I take too long getting dressed, but then I would because I've figured out a way of getting completely dressed whilst sat down on the bed. Having said that, she will help me if something gets stuck or one of the cats runs off with my socks!
I hope the medications you have started begin to give you some relief soon.
Kat
i like a lot of this post but i particulary like the part about hanging on to your own knees as long as you can and the reason why. i hope you manage to achieve the loss of weight which might help you a bit too. you sound like an incredibly positive person who is doing all they can to help themselves and your words also encourage me on my quest with my version of arthur. acceptance of the limitations is a good way of then moving on to finding the new ways to do things, my own family have had to help me with lots of things but i got so fed up of making so many requests that i too found ways to do things without causing too much pain. i do scream and shout tho sometimes and they come running in panic only to find i have got stuck in some item of clothing, usually on my head and im having a little claustrophobia attack.
to the lady posting - i was taking diclofenac and dr told me just to stop taking and i ended up after 3 days with something like a huge lump of sausagemeat on the back of my neck. the joints around the cervical vertibrae had swollen up. freaky freaky feeling! they do work really well in removing the swelling and in pain reduction as a result. hope you find some suitable alternative soon and remember the hot water bottles filled with ice can be less painful than ice packs and might just help you ease the pain a bit. let us know how you get on as your advice might help some of us too some time.0
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