A few laughs for Saturday

stickywicket

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE


1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship
she goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..

3. I take my wife everywhere....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
my wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"

joanlawson

They're great, SW, but in the name of equality, here's a few jokes about husbands.

What do you call your husband when he brings you flowers?
Guilty.

What is the best revenge when another woman steals your husband?
Let her keep him.

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Joan

stickywicket

And every one true, Joan As it was my husband who sent me the originals I think it only fair that I should let him have these in return

suzygirl

villier

Well done girls brightened up a driech saturday afternoon.........Marie xx

diamond

Well done girls made me laugh.

LignumVitae

I was giggling away at the first and then scrolled down for the second...thank you both so much. What a double act! LV xx

dreamdaisy

'driech' - what a lovely word, it's so descriptive. I needed a smile Sticky, thank you for providing more than one - and you too, Joan. DD

julie47

Loved them thank you both sticky and joan



love juliepf x