Moan alert( feeling very down)

Milly8

Well humira has not even lasted a week this time around but still much better than before humira .i think I am a little frightened this is not going to work for me but early days I guess.this bl**dy psa is playing hell with my head at the moment.i know I have another six weeks before rheumy deems it a success or not and rheumy nurse said that you have to hit targets to get on it and you have to hit targets to stay on it.I think that is playing on my mind.sometimes I just feel like screaming out loud to let out some pent up emotions.maybe I am just being a drama queen and should stop moaning and just get on with it.I have always been such a positive person and rolled with all the punches of life.even when my psa was at its worst and not diagnosed I just got on with it.then I got meds and felt better and when they stopped working i think that's when it starting playing with my mind and thats when i jumped on the roller coaster journey thats my life and i am never getting off.sorry for moaning about how i feel to you all but i know you will understand.writing this down I think maybe I should pop down the doctors and have a word with my lovely doctor .

I live up a big hill and when i feel ok i walk home but today as I had a load of shopping in my shopping trolley I decided to catch the bus home ( only 5 min journey ) most  of the people who catch the bus are my elderly neighbours and as I went to get on the bus my one neighbour who is 80 asked if needed help with my bag as he knew how unwell I have been( oh bless him) and when I was getting off another neighbour who is 75 asked if needed help getting off the bus ( i am 45).it was so nice of them to ask but in one mind I was thinking omg do I look that Ill I need help from them.
                      Bye for now 
                           Milly

mig

Oh Milly so sorry that you don't feel so good,its ok to come on here and have a moan its one of the reasons we are here,I have ra and as you know just done my second jab so its early days as it is for you,hopefully this is just a hiccup,fingers crossed for you.Sending hugs Mig (((())))

dreamdaisy

Ah, the arthritis rollercoaster, it's a s*d isn't it? I'm on it too at the moment and I know I'm on the downward plunge but hey-ho, on past experience I know that will eventually bottom out and the slow, laborious and creaky climb to the misty foothills of moderately grotty (my usual state) will resume.

My humira gives me about six days of slightly improved mobility (ie I can ditch the Clatterator and get around on crutches for that time) and then it fades and once again I'm on the thin end of the humira wedge. I'm aware it's 'helping' my PsA but it does phack all for the OA in my knees and ankles (which isn't that surprising, it ain't designed to help that). It's not easy Milly, you have my empathy. DD

dibdab

Oh dear Milly,
I'm not on any of the more effective drugs because RA has affected my lungs so can't comment on the Humira. But I just wanted to send some understanding and hugs ((((( )))))).

I've just come off gold after 6 fruitless months of weekly gold injections and blood tests, and I so understand that "so what if this doesn't work?" feeling. All of these drugs are powerful and have side effects and we rely on them. I really do hope that you feel more positive soon and that the right treatment for you will happen. The ups and downs are endless, but I'm sure there will be a day soon when you feel more like yourself and more hopeful. Hang in there!!

Deb x

Numptydumpty

Hi Milly,
I totally understand how you feel. You start taking these drugs, thinking they are "wonder" drugs, and then they don't do what you expected them to do.
It is early days, hopefully the Humira will work for you. If not can you try another anti TNF? I know the system is different from district to district, but I was able to try two. Unfortunately neither worked for me, but hopefully you will be luckier.
Never worry about having a moan, we all understand, and we all do it occasionally.
Wishing you well,
Numpty

barbara12

Oh Milly
Bless you are having a rotten time, but you moan away it is much better than bottling it all up..and I will have everything crossed that the meds bring you some relief .
Sending you some very gentle hugs ((((()))) xx

Milly8

Thank you everyone for your relies.it was good to write everything down and stop mulling over in my head.i don't like moaning to my hubby about it as he enough things of his own to deal with even though he would sit down and listen he does not know how it truly feels .my sister would just put her pity face on and that drives me mad.i am just going to take everyday as it comes and not think about how I think I should feel but deal with how I do feel on a day to day basis as there's no such thing as tomorrow as when it comes it's called today
Bye for now
Milly

tjt6768

hi Milly... You moan away hun.. It's ok, we certainly understand.
I hope the treatment settles and works wonders for ya

Loulou11

Hi milly, I know how you feel I'm only 42 and had arthur 40 years, when I go out and an pensioner is rushing down the road and I can just about hobble it makes me feel useless. I live in a ground floor flat and all my neighbours are elderly too sometimes I feel so cut off, but you know wot I believe I will give anything a go because you just do not know what will work for you. I'm on my third TNF and it's working for now, but as a child Arthur my meds have come a long way since the 70s. I can't work anymore but did up until 2 years ago and that was thanks to infliximab it last 10 years so as I said you never knowxxx good luckxxx

villier

Milly you moan all you want pet that's what everyone is here for, so sorry you are having a rough time, you are not a drama queen hope things are getting a bit better for you...........tc...........Marie xx