i know it probably me but

valval Member Posts: 14,911
edited 23. Oct 2012, 06:49 in Community Chit-chat archive
well monday was steves birthday we went on bus trip to touquay had been on bus half hour when he gets a call from his dad (had not had card from them even though they knew we were going away) to let him know his auntie had died over night. great start to birthday and holiday if it had been me would have waited till later in day was nothing to be gained by phoneing so early or anything we could do it just upset steve for no reason i can think of but then that me.
but we did have lovely holiday weather was nice and rain mainly in evening or over night


  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,863
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Val

    Tis hard to know when to phone isn't it? I remember my Dad died in the night and my Mum and I up all night smoking (I had given up some years earlier :shock: ) and drinking coffee waiting for a civilised hour to ring my Sister.

    I was so aware that she could do nothing at all to help and was blissfully asleep :(

    BUt she lives in Scotland and would need time to get down here.

    Hope Steve didn't get too upset and the two of you had a good time together.

    Love and ((()))

    Toni xx
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,280
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Val, I would have waited till you got back off holiday...but them you might have said you could have let us know earlier...Im glad you had a good holiday, I do love Torquay..but its ages since we went there.x
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,553
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm so sorry Steve's birthday got off to a bad start with such sad news, Val. Some people don't think what the recipient might prefer or just don't know them well enough to work it out. When my Mum died (not unexpectedly) I was in L.A. My sister wanted to not say anything until we got back but my son knew I'd rather know so he phoned me. I hope you two managed a good trip to Torquay despite the bad start.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hmmmm, it's a tricky one, isn't it? To say or not to say, that is the question. I think I would have waited until later in the day (especially if you know the person who has to hear the news is having a special day and was fond of the deceased) but men don't think like women, they are generally more pragmatic (I think that's the right word). I hope it didn't take too much away from the birthday itself and that the rest of your hols went well. (((()))) to you both. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • rugbygirl
    rugbygirl Member Posts: 691
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sorry to hear the news.

    When my grandad died a few years ago my mum and my then husband decided that they would wait until later in the day to contact me (I had a driving job which I had to do and everyone knew I would be finished by 11.30). My cousin phoned me while I was on my drive and I pulled in to take the call as I knew my grandad was on his last moments. She was the one who broke the news to me and I will always be thankful to her for telling me sooner rather than later. I was so annoyed with the people who thought it was for the best to wait until later.

    I still hold a bit of a grudge about it and although they thought they were doing the right thing I personally feel that you should be told sooner rather than later.
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Glad you both managed to have a nice holiday under the cloud hanging over your heads, it is a very tricky situation and everyone is different, some people think they are doing good and having bad news also clouds your judgement...........tc........Marie xx
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    We went away for a few days end August and morning after we returned we were told Uncle had died. They had waited to tell us because they did not want to spoil our holiday.

    So I think they could have waited as it seems to have marred your trip away.

    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    well if it had not been his birthday and if they had not phoned while we were on the coach full of strangers could have understood the evening would have been better but we did have great break steve going on thursday to funeral i got hospital app. and put it off once so better go or will never know what wrong with my tum lol
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I know it was close family but their was nothing that could have been done, so I feel it was wrong to have phoned your OH when you where on your holiday. It ruined the holiday and your OH's Birthday celebrations for all of you.