Mum's not coping well

roses1

Hi Tony,

Sorry not been about , hugs to you and all your family, not an easy time is it the only thing you can do is take one day at a time and be there for each other and that IS just what you are doing.

Would your mom be better to rent out her park home it really not the right time of year to be selling, maybe something to mull over weigh up the pros and cons.

Hope you have some easier days, thinking of you all
Rose x

tjt6768

thanks Rose hun..
To be honest, I don't think they're allowed to rent em out, they have some weird rules in the site, you have to get permission for this that n t'uvver :roll:
She'll have plenty of time before it would ever sell though..
Spoke to her earlier, she's having a lovely time with mi brother and the grandkids..
Xxx

stickywicket

Tony, I’ve not contributed to this thread because….well, because I tend to do the brutal realism thing and the last thing I want to do is upset you, but there are some aspects to all this that I think you should look at even if you then choose to disregard them.

One is that, as others have said, many people in your Mum’s situation are inclined to take hasty actions which they repent of later. I know you feel the caravan won’t sell quickly but it might and then her boats would be burned.

Secondly, I’m wondering how eager Leeds City Council would be to give your Mum a council place when, as tkachev has pointed out, she has a home of her own in Skegness and is also (according to what you’ve said) able to live with you.

Which brings me to my third, most difficult point. Having a parent stay indefinitely will put a strain on the best of marriages and the best of mother/son, mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships. My mother-in-law once stayed for a couple of months after her house was flooded by a burst cistern. It was a tough, tetchy time all round and nothing like a routine two week visit. Even if you are happy to have her stay, is Janet? Does she really feel she has a choice? (I didn’t.)

I’m not even sure (hard b*tch that I am) that it’s good for bereaved widows and widowers to be encouraged to be dependent. I think, long term, it could be better for all of you if your Mum was encouraged to stay in her own place for 6 months or so, with one or other of her family staying regularly – every weekend if possible – and then re-assess her wishes at the end of that time. You say she’s currently enjoying life over there with your brother and the grandchildren. Maybe more of the same?

Just a few thoughts put down with the best of intentions. I won't be the least bit offended if you choose to ignore them.

tjt6768

my dear sticky, I would never be offended by something you said. I know that what you say is with good intent hun.. And I thank you for the input.
Personally I think that Mum will end up giving it another go in skeggy, probably after winter is over.. She would have been here with us at the minute anyway as we are off to keilder again soon, plus she would have been here for christmas too.. I know what you are saying regarding the housing situation too. We would figure a way around it though. I'll be really honest with you, we don't even know mum is here, she really is no bother, I know that Janet really doesn't mind mum here either, in fact she said the other day that it's actually been rather helpful for her as I've not been that good lately and mum has been here to lend a hand.
I'm sure it will figure itself out one way or another though..

Thanks for posting hun. Xx

applerose

Hi Tony. Haven't been on here for a few weeks so just catching up. Sorry your mum is finding it so difficult but, as the others have said, it is still very early. It's good she is enjoying herself just now with your brother and I'm sure she will when you go to Keilder and again at Xmas. She'll get there in the end. Don't forget to take care of yourself.