Any tips on how to cope with a contrary Mother?

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dreamdaisy
dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
edited 30. Oct 2012, 16:37 in Community Chit-chat archive
She's driving me round the bend. Last week she couldn't wait to see my local optician, tonight the tune was completely different so it's just as well I hadn't made an appointment.

She didn't want to have her feet done by one of my ex-pupils (Vicky) but I insisted and suddenly life was much more comfy. Does she want another appointment before she goes home so V can finish what she started? No, but while Vicky was here it was Ma who was insisiting so V kept some work back.

My friend Wen was wonderful with my mum at my MIL's cremation and suddenly Wen is the best thing since sliced bread. Until that day it was much more a case of 'I have no idea why you two are firends, she's a ghastly woman.'

I am now regretting my childless status (assuming I could have had them if I wanted). Who the hell will I irk beyond reason when I am truly old (not just a fake version of old age which I currently peddle). It won't be fun irking strangers. :roll: It's too late now, Daisy, that ship has long sailed. :wink: DD
Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben

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  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Right, she ain't being contrary, I think there is something deeper and darker at work. I've just had a major hunt for glasses (it lasted about 30 minutes) which I eventually found, string rolled neatly round the frames, snuggling in my husband's side of our bed (they weren't there when I made it this morning). Oh hell. Before you all think we're all snuggled up together I can assure you that isn't the case. We vacate our very comfy bed to separate uncomfy sleeping arrangements on the top floor and she assures us every night that our bed is very comfortable. Yeah, we know. :roll: DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,154
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    This made.e smile when I'm not in the smiling mood.Had a picture of your mum furtively hiding her glasses and all three of you snuggled up together.Thanks DD.Mig
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    bless ya hun.. My MIL is very hard work sometimes. I've only a small inclin of what you're going through...
    Ra runs a rather successful hit squad of felines.. Just give the nod. That ones on me. Lol
    Xx
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oooh dont' tempt me. I came down this morning to find an essay scawled on a napkin on the perils of having a duff brake light (I know it's duff, it went on Saturday and I'm off to get a new one later today). It ran along the lines of being fingerprinted, my DNA taken, gaining a criminal record and it will 'effect' my credit rating. Ye gods. On the other side of the napkin I found a lovely note from my husband which ended with 'I love you, I'll change the bulb tomorrow and visit when you're banged up. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,719
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    :lol: You have to keep that napkin for ever. A perfectly encapsulated definition of the difference between mothers and husbands.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    She sounds a lot like my Mum DD. In the end I gave up trying to sort out her problems because it was exhausting ,and at times demoralising, and I just went with the flow and told her what she wanted to hear. :D

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    DD, the napkin gave me a chuckle. I agree with Sticky you have to keep it. My mother drives me mad and I know I drive my boys mad at times. :oops:

    Mind you everyone drives me mad at the moment, my hubby says I am like a rottweiler today. :shock:
  • Susiecubes
    Susiecubes Member Posts: 4
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I have the mother in law from hell so can sympathise with you there! Opinionated in everything, critical of most things and generally negative in every way...apart from that she is fine :) Having recently found out i have arthritis I have warned my fiancee and kids under no circumstance to tell her!! She has arthritis and my life will be a living hell if she knows i have it too. Oh god, I can here her now "no you should be taking those meds, you shouldnt be doing this/that etc. My partner said what am I supposed to say when you cannot move your knees? I told him to say we have been having too much sex hahaha that should put her gas to a peep :)
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    You're spot on, tkachev, that is what I need to learn to do. I was told last week that I have no idea what it's like to feel one's body failing - yer think? :x I'm the one who's sensibly using a rollator whilst she struggles on with just one stick when two, or a rollator, would be so much better. :roll:

    I think the mother / daughter relationship can be a fraught one, well, ours is. :) Mind you we had a very good giggle yesterday which was lovely. She is, however, becoming increasingly 'dotty' and that is worrying me. Thank you everyone, all comments are gratefully recieved! DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,719
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    She's probably more 'dotty' for not being in her home environment where she'll know where things are, what happens when etc etc (and she doesn't have to worry about her delinquent daughter being banged up :lol: ) Sorry, I've no tips but my sons might have :wink:
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    When I drive my kids mad, which I accept that I do from time to time, my son just looks at me and says,''Mother dear!'' in a very pained, condescending tone of voice.

    That's enough to shut me up ( it works for all of five minutes :lol: )
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Ra said that the option is always there... :wink:
    So, you're gonna be in the clink eh? I'll arrange to visit, but I'm not smuggling any booze in for you.. :D I'm not taking that risk ever again :shock: :? Lol
    Next time she's annoying you, just shout FURRY PURRY PILLOW in a proper accent of course, this will confuse and bamboozle her, giving you time to retreat to another room... She will spend a great deal of time wondering what the Hell you've just said to her..
    :wink::wink:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    DD I am sorry but reading your posts has made me smile. :oops:

    The only tip I can suggest is Keep counting to 10 cause biting ones tongue really hurts. :lol:

    Love Juliepf x
  • fowls48
    fowls48 Member Posts: 1,357
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Poor DD


    I know how you feel or my dad does , my mother has gone dotty she forgets everything and repeats herself Yep its the altzeimers ,poor woman
    , she does have us in stitches though , but me poor dad leads a dogs life as she has her mood swings .I normally get a txt , asking why i have not come home or why have i moved out and left me clothes behind .
    Try to keep your chin up you 'll soon get your lovely bed back :)