Allegedly.....

stickywicket

......these are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district. Spellings have been left intact.....

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had the ****.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

wall1409

Absolutely brilliant. This has made my day...Thanks for posting these.

Numptydumpty

Thanks Sticky,
that's just what I needed

barbara12

Oh Sticky I love it... thanks

dreamdaisy

Cor, smashing!

One of mine had her three month spelling test today. I rather like her version of a well-known word: cabidge. DD

villier

Thanks Sticky had a good old chuckle to myself

Turbogran

Thanks Sticky
Soooo funny

joanlawson

Very funny, Sticky Thanks for posting them.

They reminded me of some of the funny notes I often used to receive when I was teaching, but I always rather liked the honest ones eg. ''Billy couldn't come to school yesterday because I went shopping and needed him to carry the bags.'' or ''Sorry, we got up late and were too tired to get dressed''.

These made me laugh too:

1. Excuse me for not doing my homework, its cause you ASKED me to do it, you didn't TELL me to do it so I thought it was optional.

2. I was late to class because it was foggy this morning and I couldn't find my way to school.

3. While I was walking to school, my shoes fell apart. I went back home to see if I had any more. I didn't and my mom wouldn't let me leave the house without any shoes.

4. Can Joe please be excused from completing his religious studies homework? He thought it did not apply to him as he has sold his soul to the devil.

5. Here's an excuse that only someone who ran out of excuses would use:

My son could not attend school yesterday because he is grounded to his room for not taking out the trash for a month. Not only this, but the trash has piled so high that I cannot get out of my back door. (Student Name) will be able to attend school again as soon as he cleans up the trash and serves his punishment. Expect to see him back in school within a month of the date of this note. Thank You.

suzygirl

Love it Sticky

julie47

Loved them sticky, they did make me laugh

Thank you

XX