not sure what to do

nearlybionic

Hi
Since my recent manipulation/athrogram/injection into the hip, the recovery has not been as I hoped. I was really hoping for some relief from the pain in my hip, and to be able to walk without pain. Unfortunately this has not happened, and to be honest my hip is worse, the pain is very raw at rest as well as when i walk.
I have had to resort to Tramadol again to take the edge off. My sick note runs out this week but I am struggling to get into the car never mind drive so feel that work would be very unlikely. I have made a GP appointment for Wednesday to talk to her about my pain. I will need to ring work but feel I am being defeatist, but I know that I could not work as I am. My next appointment with the consultant is 6th Dec and I will get the results of the arthrogram. I am scared of being told the results too.
I am tempted to ring the consultants secretary to ask if my increased pain is normal ?? BUt feel I will be fobbed off with `wait til next appointment`. I am feeling very low in mood and am becoming snappy with those around me. I just want it all to go away.
Thanks for reading.
NB

dreamdaisy

It's no wonder you are feeling low, you've been through a tough time and things are still tough. From what you have said it sounds very unlikely that you will be able to return to work soon - is there any way that you could go part-time either for the short or long-term? That would ease a considerable pressure on you.

I don't have hip trouble and have no idea how long things may hurt for after but they have given your joint a good old tug, pull and wrench so no wonder it's unsettled. I think seeing your GP is a good thing and be very honest with him / her about how it (and you) are feeling. I doubt there's little to be gained from ringing the surgeon's secretary so in the meantime be kind to yourself, keep up with the dullers so that they give you some relief and I hope you feel better soon. DD

nearlybionic

Hi DD
Thanks for your kind reply. I am very emotional today and need to pull myself together.
This disease and what it brings with it really makes me angry and sad. I feel like life is passing me by. I feel old before my time. I feel boring and useless. People around me are talking about the future, looking forward to Christmas, next year, holidays etc... I have no enthusiasm for anything, and it is not like me at all. I usually love the build up to Christmas, but can`t even think about it. I would like to hibernate and wake up with it all gone.
Thanks again xx
NB

barbara12

Aww NB...dont be too hard on yourself..it really is early days for you, I had a camera and injection in my hip, and yes the pain was quite a bit worse for a couple of weeks, and you have had the manipulation on top of that...so its not surprising you are in pain.
I didnt get any or very little relief from the injections, but they are always worth a go.
You take care xxx

nearlybionic

THanks Barbara
I know it is early days but I don`t want to be off work for a long time again. Working helps me to feel `normal` (whatever that is!!) but I have been on reduced workload for a few months anyway, but I don`t think I could manage that now. My job involves a lot of driving and this is not possible at present. My hubby thinks i should apply for DLA, I did 3 years ago but I was turned down, as I had had my THR and they said I would be better. I wish!
I will speak to the GP this week and tell her how I am feeling, physically and emotionally.
Thanks again xx
NB

dreamdaisy

You do NOT need to pull yourself together, you are undergoing another gruelling time and there are too many pressures on you. Abandon Christmas - I have and it's so liberating. I'm having both wrists done on 20 November (carpal tunnel rubbish) and will be out of action for at least a month, that takes us to 20 December so it's off. Utter bliss.

I am old before my time (proper pensioners overtake me on pavements) and life is definitlely passing me by (thanks to a chronic lack of energy and an over-abundance of pain) but I can only do what I can do and I refuse to beat myself up about it. Some days I can do a little more, some days (like today) I can only manage s*d all. Frustrating? Yes. Annoying? Yes. Depressing? Yes. Tomorrow, however, may be a better day on all fronts. And if it isn't it won't matter because it will pass, all things do.

Be kinder to yourself, ease the pressure on you in any way that you can. Your body needs peace and rest to recover so I hope you can give it that. DD

villier

Awe pet no wonder you are feeling the way you are, constant pain makes us all that, hopefully when you see your doc on Wednesday s/he will be able to suggest a solution for you, as far as work is concerned they will have to understand and you are probably making yourself worse by stressing about your job, hang in there and let us know how you get on.............tc.............Marie xx (((((gentle)))))s

barbara12

Hi NB
I do understand what you are saying about some sort of normality, I do wish I could get apart time job I always enjoyed working...but has for the DLA, I do think you should apply, if you are worse off then go for it, If they turn you down then you appeal,most people have to these days.
But you try and have some me time, and be kind to yourself xx

nearlybionic

Thanks DD and Marie
I am so glad I can come on here to talk to people who understand this cr*p.
I will have to do Christmas, well some of it, for the kids. It`s not their fault that i feel like this, and they have put up with so much over the years.
I will speak to my manager on Tuesday, when she is in work and explain how I feel. I am better not going back until I can work at full capacity, as it doesn`t help my colleagues when they have to make allowances for me all the time. Although they are really good with me.
I will keep in touch if that is ok xx
NB

tjt6768

Hi NB, really sorry that you're suffering like this.. Wish I could offer wiser words but they elude me.. What I can offer is plenty of Yorkshire Blokey Hugs (TM) which I hope will help a little..
As DD said, be VERY honest with the doc about ther level of pain and how down you are..
Keep posting, we are all here to listen

stickywicket

I think it's a good plan to speak to the GP. I don't think talking to the consultant's secretary would do any good unless you could bring your appointment forward. The secretary wouldn't be able to tell you what's 'normal' although a physio might be useful if you had one.

It's no wonder Christmas just seems like one burden too many right now. Things aren't going to plan and being unable to work is making you feel the future is bleak. It might be nowhere near as bleak as you fear but first of all you need something to go right. I hope thew GP can help.

nearlybionic

Morning,
Thank you all for your support.
Tony, thanks for the Yorkshire hugs, they made it accross the pennines to Lancashire!
Sticky, I do have a physio. She has referred me for hydro which starts on the 27th Nov. I don`t see her again until I have done 6 sessions of hydro though.
I took 2 Tramadol before bed and managed to sleep until 4, which is good for me. Everyone here has gone back to work/school so I am home alone. It is frosty here today so I am staying indoors, as I don`t want to slip.
Unfortunately being here on my own gives me too much time to think, and I don`t like my thoughts at the moment.
NB

dreamdaisy

Hello NB, I'm sorry to read that you have been 'deserted' today but the hordes will descend later demanding food etc. Keep your mind occupied in as many different ways as you can - computer games, telly, some gentle housework and talk to us as well, there's usually someone about. I am thinking of you. DD

nearlybionic

Hi DD
I have tried to keep occupied this morning, even did some sewing! Unheard of for me!
But the pain is wearing me down today, and I feel teary. I do need to talk to someone about how I am feeling, but don`t feel I can talk to family as I am expected to be the strong one who is always the one people turn to for advice or help. I don`t feel strong anymore, and am avoiding people so they don`t see how I am. I hope that tomorrow is better.
NB

ShulaArcher

Hi NB

I've read through all this thread and can appreciate what you are going through. Isn't it great to have somewhere (ie here!) where you can off-load some of what you're feeling? The sun is shining here - I hope it is where you are. It can be a reminder that tomorrow may be a better day.

Lots of good wishes on their way to you from me

Shula

nearlybionic

Hi Shula
Thanks for your reply. I am really grateful to have this forum to talk to people who understand how i feel. And more importantly will not judge me or think I am whingeing! We all need to offload and I am glad that I can come here to do that.
Yes the sun is shining here too.
Take
NB

dreamdaisy

Pain is wearing if not downright exhausting. I've just wussed out and cancelled my last lesson because I know I won't be able to cope with it. Who needs money? :roll:

The payback of the past five weeks has hit and in no uncertain fashion so it's time to stop the in-essential activities and reduce the essential to a very basic level. Those who don't like it can lump it - they are not me and can't feel what and how I feel. I need to look after me espeically with my carpal tunnel surgery looming. I hope you are not putting yourself under too much pressure because that won't help, only aggravate. How old are your children? DD

stickywicket

Is there no one you can talk to, NB? I understand when you say you are regarded as the strong one but, as a very good friend told me years ago, everyone needs somewhere where they can just lay their head down and be themselves. I hope you feel you have someone who will let you be yourself. Sometimes I find that the person who is really holding me back is me :roll: It feels like giving in and relaxing one's tenuous grip on things and who knows what might happen then? I think you should try. If you feel no better tomorrow maybe the helpline would be worth a go.

kentishlady

Hi NB. Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time and completely understand how you feel. I agree that being on your own gives you too much time to think. I am on my own and know what you mean. It is so difficult when you have a family to look after as well when it is you who needs the looking after. Try putting your head in a good book (if you have one). I find that helps sometimes. Do so hope you will be feeling brighter soon. It's the constant pain that wears you down isn't it - well it does me. Whereabouts in Lancashire are you? I have Lancastrian connections. Take care. Beryl.

nearlybionic

Hi
DD, I hope you are feeling a little better today. You have had a lot to cope with recently and need to feel ready for your surgery. x My children are teenagers now, and are good around the house when reminded! I do put a lot of pressure on myself, and worry a lot when I don`t manage to keep on top of things. (control freak!)
Sticky, I do have friends etc.. but my closest friend is having marrital problems and I am trying to be there for her and my MUm is having health problems too (she has an MRI today infact). My Mum offers help, but does have a lot of other commitments with other family eg step children and their young children. I find it hard ot ask for help, I always have. I even find it difficult to accept help when offered as I think I should be able to cope, I am only 43!
Beryl, thanks for your support. Pain is very wearing, yes. If we got a day off now and again maybe we would cope better.

I need to go out later to pick up my prescription, I have run out of one of my painkillers which is not like me, I think I have been taking more recently than usual. It is pouring with rain here and I am not looking forward to going out.
NB

kentishlady

Hello NB. How are you feeling today, any better? Think you have an awful lot to cope with at the moment on top of coping with your own problems. It's so hard, and you are so young to be putting up with so much at your age. When you get to my 'ancient' age, everyone tends to say "oh, well that's what happens when you get old." However, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's any less painful, frustrating and inconvenient when you try and cope with everything. I've always been used to going out and doing things and find it extremely hard that I can no longer do what I want to do, and that when I do go out I do so knowing that I shall be in agony most of the time, and even more so when I get home. I also have to plan my routes when I go into town shopping so that there are plenty of places to sit down when needed. I suppose it's always a good excuse for another coffee break!

Wish I knew what the answer was and why we all have to put up with such pain. Everything I try to do makes the pain level worse but I hate just sitting around. Sorry for the rant but am feeling fed up today. I made an effort and went swimming yesterday but ever since have been in agony. Have had to come off the latest pain relief medications my GP tried me with as, yet again, they were causing horrid side effects. Am now left with taking paracetamol (not strong enough) plus codeine as and when I want/need to.

Hope you will be feeling better soon. Beryl.

fowls48

Hi NB


Sorry you are in so much pain , i do not have hip problems so cannot help you at all .I can only send you some huggs and kisses and hope you will get some pain releif soon .


((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fowls xx

stickywicket

nearlybionic wrote:

Hi
I need to go out later to pick up my prescription, I have run out of one of my painkillers which is not like me, I think I have been taking more recently than usual.

Be careful with them, NB. It's all too easy to lose count when our minds are occupied elsewhere and you have much on your mind right now.

There is no 'should be able to cope' about it, not unless you're Superwoman, anyway. We all cope at some times and fail to at others. That's how life is. Please don't be too hard on yourself.

nearlybionic

Hi Beryl
sorry to hear that you are suffering after your swim. I hope you get your pain relief sorted soon too xx
I have promised to take my daughter into town after school to buy a present for her friend. Not looking forward to the walking, but I will do it, and pay for it later!
Fowls,
Thankyou so much for your message. And the love too xx
I am psyching myself up to ring my manager to say I am not ready to go back to work yet. I don`t want to get emotional, which i am all the time at the moment.
NB

nearlybionic

Hi
I am feeling a bit confused and shellshocked! I got a copy of the surgeon`s letter to my GP today, discussing my athrogram, injection and MUA. (manipulation under anaesthetic). It explains the arthrogram shows acetabular dysplasia, and I had limited movement in the joint whilst under GA. They did the manipulation and managed to make my hip move more in the joint, and gave the injection. He talks about the labral tear,and that this is common in dyplasia patients but he will not be repairing it as it will worsen the dysplasia. He then says he hopes my pain will be improved by the injection.
So as this has not happened, in fact it is worse, I did ring the secretary to ask how long it usually takes for the injection to work. She said as i have had a MUA and injection it can take 2-3 months!! I was obviously not expecting that, and she could tell. She then gave me a number for the arthroplasty nurse practitioner, and I have left a message for her t ring me back.
MR NB is really not happy that I was not given this information before I was discharged and is concerned that I may have been doing more damage by walking around etc.. Today I have found walking upstairs really difficult, and had to lift my right leg into the car with my hands.
I have told my boss that I am seeing my GP tomorrow and that I am not ready to return to work yet. She was fine.
Poor communication strikes again!!
NB