Dust to dust

stickywicket

I’ve seen it written that most household dust consists of dead skin. I’ve also seen it written that this isn’t true but, just supposing it is, I think Mr SW and I creating far too much of the stuff and I’m considering wrapping us both in cling film in an effort to stop the rot.

I lack the houseproud gene but I am still sick of dusting. I knackered myself this morning doing the laminate floors right into all the corners where it normally hides until I’ve gone and only sneaks out again later. I got in the gaps between furniture (Found an ancient receipt and a foreign coin) and the ledges and followed it up with a spot of damp dusting.

Will the house oblige by remaining dust-free until I can summon up the energy and will-power to start again? No. In fact I can already see the bits I missed on the bookcase – all the little triangles where the spines fail to align perfectly. They can taunt me all they like. There is more to life than dusting even though it often seems otherwise. Now, where’s the clingfilm?

LignumVitae

I can sympathise with that Sticky! I'm currently adding coal dust and plaster dust into the mix along with skin (and the odd dog hair). The chimney got cleared of 60 odd years of blocked up soot (and bird nests) and the men doing it wanted to 'illustrate' how much was up there by opening the screen to show us, queue floods of fine coal dust everywhere! That was last week, I'm still finding it everywhere despite cleaning what I thought was everything...I could clingfilm those workers merrily.

Numptydumpty

At the moment I'm a real dust making machine. The skin, under my cast is really dry and flaking. I leave a trail wherever I go :oops:

villier

Know the feeling ladies :roll:

I have the house cleaning blues
I look around and see so much to do
I look at the walls, the windows, and the floors
I see heaps of dust layered like boards

What I need is a good house cleaning crew
But where to get one, I haven't a clue
I asked for volunteers, but none would relent
Their community spirit, it seems, had been spent

I could wish for an occasional hurricane
For me, that may not be such a bad thing
I could raise the windows and open the doors
And be done with these house cleaning chores

But hurricanes don't occur where I live
So its left up to me to clean this crib
I have devised a plan to get the job done
Since I can no longer depend on anyone

My plan is as simple as it can be
One that is not very taxing on me
My walking shoes I will lace up tight
And from this nightmare I will take flight

dreamdaisy

Broing women have immaculate homes. DD

PS Good poem, villier!

frogmella

On that basis, DD, I must be REALLY interesting!! LOL!

stickywicket

So, we're all agreed - dusting is achingly (in every sense) boring and hardly worth the effort, Numpty is most welcome as long as she's first clingfilmed and Marie is our resident poet. (Anyone who can be inspired by dust has to be genuinely artistic.)

The daft thing is, after all that effort, I brought out a parkin I'd made - the proper, Yorkshire, black treacle & oatmeal, rot your teeth and clear your drains out stuff. There are now crumbs of it welded to to my 'clean' floor.

LignumVitae

Dusting is a waste of time, it's never ending and nobody but you really notices. As for the parkin, not a waste of time but a waste of crumbs if even a speck landed on the floor! My Mum makes that kind of proper parkin and I love it. As a child I never understood (and still don't really) why she felt restricted to make it just at this time of year. I always felt disappointed with other parkin offerings, that paler, more gingery stuff which isn't parkin to me after a lifetime of treacly oaty goodness...if you have any left...
LV xx

bubbadog

We have warm air central heating in our house and it blows dust about whenever we have it on which is more so now the colder weather is here! It also blows dust that has settled in the pipes through the vents on the floor.

fowls48

I am just like you sticky , i think worse though , too tired by the weekend to do any house work , so i struggle , loads of dog hair and cat hair i am forever sweeping up :roll:

stickywicket

LignumVitae wrote:

My Mum makes that kind of proper parkin and I love it. As a child I never understood (and still don't really) why she felt restricted to make it just at this time of year. I always felt disappointed with other parkin offerings, that paler, more gingery stuff which isn't parkin to me after a lifetime of treacly oaty goodness...if you have any left...
LV xx

Very little left, LV, as we had friends round and I did the noble thing of sharing it, though I must confess I did think twice before I brought it out :oops:

I heartily dislike the pale, syrupy ginger cakes which masquerade as parkin. However, the reason your Mum restricted herself to this time of year could be calorific. I only make 1-2 each Oct/Nov as I find it would be quicker, though nowhere near as scrumptious, to just smear it on the hips - all that butter, treacle and sugar. Mr SW, however, being a bloke, concentrates on the oatmeal and says it has to be good for the heart

LignumVitae

That could explain it but we all need a post cleaning calorie boost! I think I'll just focus on those oats, surely that is what makes it a nutrient dense food and with that dark colouring it must be full of those things that wipe up the free radicals?!

stickywicket

That sounds very plausible and convincing. OK, that's our story and we'll stick with it

ShulaArcher

1 - Dust - My eyesight isn't great so I can't see the dust so well!

2 - Parkin - This is my "handed down" recipe from Holmfirth, from my great grandmother:

1 lb Meal
1/2 lb Flour
1 lb Lyle's Golden Syrup
1/2 lb Sugar
1/2 lb Margarine
11/2 tsp ginger
1 egg, milk, salt

Slow oven F325

I've never actually tried this recipe!

stickywicket

Re the eyesight - you'll always be a welcome guest here, Shula

Re the parkin - it has to be Black Treacle

dreamdaisy

Right, I will happily step forth and represent those who think they should know this but don't. What is parkin? :oops: Obviously it's not to do with cars. DD

PS I hope you lovely northern ladies will still talk to me.

LignumVitae

Hi DD

It's a sticky, deeply dark moist cake packed with oatmeal held together by treacle and butter mainly. It's bonfire night food, sticks to your ribs and is marvellously delicious. I didn't realise it wasn't a universal across the country kind of food to be honest. It has Yorkshire origins but has spread across here too and is widely available. There is a lighter version with gingery syrupy flavour but that, to me and Sticky, isn't the genuine article and often lacks that healthy oatmeal ingredient!

Of course we'll still talk to you

stickywicket

Yorkshire Parkin

8 oz SR Flour
8 oz Medium Oatmeal
4 oz sugar
1lb Black Treacle
8 oz Butter
Teacup milk
Teaspoon dried ginger

In pan warm treacle, milk, butter and sugar. Cool slightly then add to mixed dry ingredients. Mix thoroughly. Pour into well-greased tin and bake in slow oven Gas 2 for 60-80 minutes. Don’t open oven door for first hour.

Eaten straight from the cooling rack, the top is deliciously crusty and the bottom wet :oops: (with treacle). After putting in a tin and/or wrapping in clingfilm the top loses its crustiness. Allegedly, it will keep for weeks. Not in our house.

Traditionally, it’s eaten round the bonfire where it will warm your cockles and glue your innards together. This is a high calorie, high fat, high saturated fat and high sugar concoction. Anyone attempting to (a) substitute anything low fat or low sugar (b) substitute golden syrup for the treacle or (c) omit the oatmeal will be haunted by the ghost of that good old Yorkshireman Guido Fawkes.