Wit n Wisdom

GraceB · 8. Nov 2012, 10:40

These were in a local community magazine which dropped through my letterbox yesterday. I just had to share them with you all. The majority of the second one I thought is especially relevant to us.

First bit of wisdom:
A man is stopped by the Police at midnight and asked where he's going.
'I'm on the way to listen to a lecture about the effects of alcohol and drug abuse on the human body'
The Policeman asks 'really? And who's going to give a lecture at this time of night?'
'My wife'

Second bit of wisdom:
If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ...
But that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it - Almost every time I sneeze, cough or splutter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

I hope this made you smile as it did me last night!
GraceB