Going to pain management next week!

frogmella

Hi,

I have finally been given an appointment for pain management next Wednesday. I actually had some good luck for a change - they had a cancellation on a day when I could go! Amazing!!

To be honest it has come at a good time - my good spell has vanished and I am back to having painful feet and a lot of back pain again. I had thought the gabapentin was at the correct dose as my feet had been pretty much pain free for a couple of weeks - when will I learn not to count my chickens eh? :roll:

I think if I had had an appointment a couple of weeks ago I would have been seen as a fraud because I was doing ok. I wasn't doing much other than my miniscule work hours and my exercise regime but I was surviving. This week I haven't swum at all, I think Pilates has finished me off and I am back on the codeine at night and still find it hard to drop off!

How our fortunes change at a monents notice with this awful disease!

I hope that I will get some guidance on whether to increase the gabapentin or not. My GP says it is guided by me, which I find difficult at times. I am reluctant to increase if this is just a bad spell because it is making me pretty stupid. But if the good period I just had is actually the "oddity" and this is normal then I guess I will accept the side effects to be rid of this nerve pain again.

I also think I could do with the emotional support that the pain management is supposed to provide because I really don't think I am coping very well. I am pretty depressed still and struggle to find anyone to talk to about it. I think I am really good at putting my "teacher" shell on and so people think I am ok because I smile, laugh and get on with things. Really I feel awful inside. I am frustrated and irritated with myself. I feel pathetic at the little I am able to do compared to how I was before. I know that others are worse off than me but I feel the grief of losing the old me really acutely at the moment. I know that I bore people if I go on about how I feel, or how I don't know what to do about meds, or exercise etc and so I don't talk about things much. And there I go again, moaning on at all of you! Hmmm.

Anyway, I will let you all know how it goes on Wednesday.

Thanks for listening

Helen

wall1409

Good luck Helen

And you are not moaning. When your in constant pain there is no let up and unless someone is in the samer position they dont know how it affects us. I have my teary moments and go really quiet as its the only way I can deal with it. You take care

Wendy xx

stickywicket

I'm smiling as I type, Helen, because I think that post perfectly illustrates your point about your being good at convincing others all is OK. It's so natural to you to do that that you start off all bright and breezy with the good news about the Pain Management and only actually sneak in at the end about how tough things are :roll:

I'm glad you've got the cancellation and very much hope it helps. I'm afraid fluctuation is the name of the game though I did wonder if you've been taking advantage of the early improvement to do a bit too much. Learning just how to deal with the good times as well as the bad is all part of it. The temptation is always (well, it was for me) to at things hell for leather while one can. Unfortunately, the joints and the sleepy muscles don't like that. They prefer to be eased back gently into action.

As for your last paragraph, there will always be others worse off than every one of us. That doesn't diminish our own pain. Coming to terms with the whole business of arthritis is...dare I say it....a marathon, not a sprint :roll: Give yourself time. Be patient with yourself and be prepared to tell it like it is on here whenever you need to.

And good luck with the Pain Mansgement.

hileena111

Hi
Good luck with the pain management......I'm sure you'll get the emotional
support and advice.

Love
Hileena

bubbadog

Hi Helen, Glad you've got an appointment with the pain management on Wednesday, especially if your having a bad patch it helps if they see you when having a bad period as you say! You've made me think I'm going to see what my G.P is doing as she mentioned about refering me to the pain clinic, I'll ask her if she's sent the referal or not. Hope it is a positive appt for you are you going to ask for pocket duties on it? Let us know how it goes.

suzygirl

Helen, I really hope it benefits you. You deserve a break, constant pain is so lowering, it grinds you down. We all need an outlet for our frustration.

I wish you well for it.

villier

Hi Helen, good news about the pain management, I am sure you will get lots of benefits from it, and moaning you are not every one needs some ears to listen and thats what we are all here for, anytime, good luck for Wednesday.........tc..........Marie xx

frogmella

Oh, thanks guys! I did feel guilty after posting for moaning but you have all made me feel better.

Sticky - I know that you are right, I am not very good at peeling off my shell and I think it is only on here that I do it at all! Once at counselling after my Mom died and when my back issues were really starting to get chronic the "pain management" specialist told me that I "didn't look depressed"! haha! I should be on the stage! You are also right that I do tend to go hell for leather when I feel "good" but I am really trying not to! Honest I am. But then I feel bad for not getting anything done. I sort of knew that pilates wasn't a good idea this week, but I thought if I didn't go then I was wimping out. I know, deep down, that I am too hard on myself but I also feel like if I don't try and make my body the best it can be then my pain is my own fault. Stupid, I know. That is why I need some targetted counselling to help me sort things out in my head!

Bubba - I think I might ask for pocket duties. I am pretty worked up so some nice calm friends in my pocket might be a good idea! It took quite a while for me to hear about the pain manangement after I saw the GP but it probably is a good idea to chase yours up.

Suzy - yes, it does grind you down. How are you doing at the moment? I think about you often and wonder how you are. Have you been to see a surgeon since all your hospital escapades?

Wendy - thank you for your understanding - I think I am the same. I cry for no reason and withdraw off into myself for a while.

Hileena - thanks for your support.

Thank you all so much. I love this board!

Helen

dreamdaisy

Hello! I am so pleased you have this appointment and I hope it helps. It's not easy finding people who understand pain. I found the AC course I did very helpful in helping me to understand how pain affects us and how we can countermand those effects. Good luck and please let us know how you get on. DD

Susiesoo

Hi Helen ... I'm sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment. I just want to wish you luck for the appt and do hope they can help you. I will be ready for pocket duties if required.

Susie