update on me - OH left, new diagnosis of RA+Fibro

merri

The consultant thinks that I have both RA and Fibro and has put me on a more aggressive treatment plan. I just don't seem to have enough energy to eat. I mostly have innocent veg pots for my main meal which are around 300g, but lately I've been giving up part of the way down. I know it's not break up related and was wondering if anyone else had this?

My husband also left me 2 weeks ago after 10 years of being together. No notice, just went out, got drunk and told me he was leaving me and is now communicating only by text and only if it is about his stuff or divorce.

applerose

Oh Merri, I'm so sorry things are going so badly for you at the moment. Hopefully, the medication will help soon. Has your husband not told you why he left? Is there a chance he may come back after a break? Try to keep your chin up. We're here if you need to chat. (((hug)))

Numptydumpty

Hi Merri, I am so sorry to hear this. Talk about a double whammy!
I hope things improve for you soon.
Thinking of you,
Numpty

merri

Thanks. No, no chance we will get back together, looking back he's no longer the man I married, the man I married would never have treated me in this way.

That's not to add: the malicious damage done to my car this morning (keyed), the DWP mixing my file up with someone else's, which now means that instead of having a decision by the renewal date, I'll have to wait about another 4 months, and having to move house, plus my condition being as bad as it's ever been. I bloomin well hope that things improve soon!

Numptydumpty

I just can't imagine what it must be like.
I feel I can cope with most things arthritis throws at me, as long as I have my OH for support.
(((())))
Numpty

stickywicket

I'm so sorry life is treating you so very badly right now, merri. You seem to be having to undergo so much from all sides. I hope you have some good friends who will support you. This is too much for one person to undergo alone.

It's no small wonder your joints are bad but you really need to eat properly or stuff will get worse. Is it just that you have no appetite or have you stomach problems? Please see your GP. He could prescribe nutritious drinks such as those they give some hospital patients.

((()))

numptynora

Oh Merri, doesn't life suck sometimes, I know exactly what you're going through, stress, especially the kind you are going through can make RA worse, if you have a relative or a good friend you can talk to, it could help no end. As far as eating, when it happened to me all I could eat was chocolate bars, (that's not advice!) but if you can get something inside you it will help your energy levels, if you have a favorite desert try using that as a bribe for your self, it worked for me when chocolate became boring.

just remember you don't need to wash his socks anymore!!

Please take care
Numps x

Fitzroy

Merri, I wish I could offer some concrete advice but man on man that sucks. My lovely wife hasn't left but decided an aging old guy isn't for her and has picked up a boyfriend. It's a long story and not for this forum but the stress is a real killer, this I know. Losing that support when you most need it makes the smallest problems bad. Big problems, that's not measurable.

constable

Hi Merri,

I am so sorry all this is happening to you. What a situation to be in. My heart goes out to you.

I am not a good eater. I do have breakfast (a bowl of cereal)but as the day goes I get so tired I just dont feel like feel eating so end up with a mousse or something rediculous like that. I have got to the point that my stomach never really rumbles now. I know it's bad, but at the moment it hasn't hurt me and this has been for quite a while now. But, on saying that you should go to the doctors and discuss this with them.

Please hold things together and hopefully the doctor can help you out. And, most importantly you must talk all this out with someone, it does no good holding it all in.

Sending you big hugs of comfort and I shall be thinking of you.

villier

Awe Merri, I am really lost for words huni not like me, and as it's five in the morning doesn't help, firstly you got to get your eating sorted out, you need all the strength you can get, I have OA so am not going to waffle on as I don't know enough yet about RA...... I know this is of no help at the moment but things will get better through time. I was in the same predicament as yourself many years ago my ex husband did the exact same thing,(the drunk bit) this is when you will find your true friends the one's that will stand by you every step of the way, I suggest let them in to help you, they will be the crutch you are needing at the moment, please,please, please get your eating sorted out ASAP, speak to someone, you may not think it is due to the break up but it could be adding to it, you have lots of friends on here as well, hope things get better soon for you pet........thinking of you (((())))s..........Marie xx

frogmella

Oh Merri,

I am so sorry to see that you are having so much cr@p and all at the same time too. It never rains but it pours.

I hope that you have some good friends to help you through this patch and don't forget that we are all here for you too, to give you a virtual hug when you need one.

((()))

Helen

kentishlady

Hi Merri. Am so sorry to hear what you are having to go through at the moment. It is so hard and I do hope things will start to improve for you soon. Remember we are all here to offer support as and when needed, but hope you also have some good friends to help you through. Take care of yourself. Beryl

salamander

Merri, sorry to hear things are tough for you right now. I hope they improve soon.

Re: loss of appetite, don't you think it is RA related? I always lose weight when in a flare as my appetite drops and it is one of symptoms. You should talk to your rheumy about this too. Try eating some high calorie drinks like milk shakes with ice cream or snacks just to help with your energy levels. Things should improve when you start your treatment.
Best of luck.

frogmorton

Oh Merii

I am so, so sorry

What an awful time you are having

I am tending to agree that the appetite could be Flare related as I loose my appetite too when I am poorly.

Please take care and keep posting so we can support you

Love

Toni xxx

bubbadog

Oh merii I'm so sorry your having such a dreadful time, but you really need to eat properly otherwise your going to get so sick that you will end up in hospital! We are all here to support you and get you through this aweful time. ((((HUGS))))

merri

Thank you all, you're so lovely. It doesn't help that my car was vandalised this week (keyed down one side) or that I'm moving house tomorrow. Life just feels so very difficult right now and that's without taking into account the RA nor the Fibro.

stickywicket

Life is extremely difficult fo you, merri. No two ways about it. I hope the move goes smoothly. Please update us when you can.

LignumVitae

Blimey Merri, just when you think you are coping with all you can cope with...I'm sending you a big fat hug and lots of support. Break ups are never easy and when handled so unsympathetically and thoughtlessly, they are even harder. I hope the new house helps you move into a new start in some ways, no memories and a place just for you to have just how you like and to turn into your sanctury.

As others have said, you do need to eat, I wonder if you should talk to your GP about the food, RA and life in general, it sounds like they may be able to give you some support through this patch or at least should be aware of how things are for you. Can you try and sneak calories in? I favour hot chocolate when I can't eat, you can use full fat milk or add cream (or both) and little things like that might just help start the energy and thus reduce the issues of not eating. From there you can build up.

When my mate and I went through bad break ups at the same time he discovered the wonder of the banana which we both stuck to, bananas are easy to eat, you can roll them around your mouth til they are a mush, and are full of something that acts like an antidepressant so we lived off them and had a habit of checking up on each other's banana intake! Food and a feel good factor all in one.

You will get through all this and we are here to help you. LV xx

stickywicket

I echo LV's last sentence and I do hope the move went well. I am thinking of you, merri. (())