Trapezectomy work losing business support

Hayley1968
Hayley1968 Member Posts: 6
I am 44 and just had 3 ops on my hands the last 3 weeks ago in which I had to have a trapezectomy in my left and I think the same may happen in my right. I am a hairdresser in which I own a franchise for a world wide company I have not been able to work for a while and feel enormous pressure to sell. This is making me depressed and my recovery worse as I'm so worried I just cry all the time and I'm just not coping I'm unable to drive just had cast off and my other hand is very painful and the transport for me to go in is difficult and when I have been in I need help the whole time even though I can not obviously cut hair I've been asked to have a meeting but am unsure of my rights etc and also if going in is causing anymore damage I'm in a lot of pain and I'm just can't cope at the moment especially seeing clients and getting upset when having to talk about it I feel I'm a burden and no use to anyone Cutting hair is all I have ever known and I'm just devasted and can't afford to lose everything Thanks for any advice I feel desperate

Comments

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hayley, I am so sorry to read this, how devastating for you indeed. I cannot offer any advice as I am self-employed and know nothing about the law regarding franchises etc but I suspect that the CAB could be of help. I would urge you to contact them as soon as you can because even if they cannot help they may be able to point you in the direction of an organisation that can. I wish you well. DD

    PS In no way are you a burden to anyone, the situation is the burden weighing on you. That's a whole different ball game - the pressure of it is not helping you in any way, shape or form.
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,243
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It’s no wonder you’re feeling so devastated, Hayley. Three ops, the prospect of losing your franchise and the determination to get into work even though that might be making your hands worse – it’s a lot to cope with.

    I suggest you tackle this on two fronts – the business and the medical. I agree with DD that CAB would be a good start for advice on the work front. But it also sounds as if you maybe need to check out just what you should and should not be doing with those hands. Your GP would be your first port of call. He/she might suggest a short course of anti-depressants to get you over this bad patch and would also be able to either advise on how to treat your hands or refer you back to the surgeon to ensure you are doing all the right things. Trying to rush the recovery rarely succeeds and may well be creating further problems for your other hand.

    You don’t come across at all as the sort of person who would be ‘a burden’ to others. You are struggling in to work despite it compromising your own health. I also see (from a post on LWA) that you have helped MacMillan Care. It seems to me you will refuse to be a burden whatever your circumstances but, right now, you need to go a bit easier on yourself, take a step back and get yourself on the road to recovery.
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • Loulou11
    Loulou11 Member Posts: 86
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Hayley I so feel for you, you have every right to feel anger with the world. I did compromise my health and worked until the decision was taken out my hands and was medically retired. The cab can help and a physio and occupational therapist can help with the Arthur situation. Speak to you docs and ask for adivce that will help you long term xxxx

    Please don't risk your health it might seem like a quick fix to push your limits, but take it from me you end up paying in the long term.
    I'm wishing you all the love and most respect in the world and you will get through this xxxx
  • applerose
    applerose Member Posts: 3,621
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Don't think I can add any more to what the others have suggested. Just want to wish you well and to say we are all here to listen. You are trying your best so are certainly not a burden.
    Christine
  • Hayley1968
    Hayley1968 Member Posts: 6
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks for all your help and support defiantly need to speak to my doctor I've never cried so much in my life. Just not coping I know I shouldn't but I'm just embarrassed to talk to my doctor about feeling like this when there are people much worse off than me. I've got myself in a real state thank you so much
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The fact that others may be worse off than you is completely and utterly immaterial. You are under a great deal of strain and that debilitates one in all kinds of ways. When I was diagnosed with OA I went to see my GP to ask for some anti-depressants (even I realised I couldn't carry on for much longer without some form of chemical support) and all she said was 'At long last!' I was hoping to be on them for just a short while but I am still taking them at the request of my rheumatologist to help me cope with pain - and they do.

    Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor - I am sure he/she will listen and may well be able to suggest ideas and coping strategies that are suitable for you. You will not be wasting their time, you will not be moaning minnie - those that are are the patients who seem to live at the surgery and you ain't one of them, of that I am sure. Please let us know how you get on, yes? I'm thinking of you. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • applerose
    applerose Member Posts: 3,621
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    DD is right. There may be people worse than you but that does not mean you are not suffering or that you should not ask for help. I'm sure your GP will be able to help.
    Christine
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,243
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You could always try ringing our own helpline people, too, Hayley. They will listen for as long as you need.
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
  • Hayley1968
    Hayley1968 Member Posts: 6
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi I've been to the doctors and been prescribed anti depressants and the doctor was very helpfull I don't know why I was so worried she actually said I should be proud of going as too many people do not and get really unwell. On the work front there is no way I'll be back so I'm having a meeting to discuss and as my husband said my health need to be a priority I've been again to physio but she said this third op was not staright forward so I'm going to need a lot of help I'm still unsure of what movement I should have post op 4 weeks as I haven't got much and my hand is very cold and goes purple which my physio saw yesterday and put my hands under a lamp she said I need to talk to my surgeon which I go on 15th Thanks so much for all your support it really helped me and it is because I never go to the doctors and just carried on I got myself and my hands in this state. Soma lesson learned. Thank you
  • Loulou11
    Loulou11 Member Posts: 86
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm so glad you went to the docs, you have valid reasons to feel the way you are right now but it will get better and we all need support sometimes, good luck with the hand have you tried those hand warmer things they use for camping ?
  • Hayley1968
    Hayley1968 Member Posts: 6
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yes I've got those she's told me to get a hot water bottle as my wrist needs help also apparently it's something caused by the op pain trauma Hopefully the weather will improve soon or a nice sunny holiday would be good
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,243
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks for the update, Hayley. I'm glad you sound much calmer now. I think sometimes we simply ask ourselves the wrong questions ie 'How can I carry on?' rather than 'Can I carry on?' You've done the sensible thing. You sound to have a good GP and that's so important. And a good husband and that is even more important. I hope things go well for you but please remember we are here if only for a spot of moral support.
    "The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran