Someone to talk to? Would really help

hannagoodwin

Hi, my name is Hannah and I am 20 years old. I used to use this forum a lot when I was about 14 through to 17ish, but stopped for a while. I was diagnosed with JIA at the age of 14 (officially) and since then (sad to say it) but that is kind of my life now. My health has just got worse and worse since about that age, and now suffer from a huge amount of different conditions.
Because of these and having always been quite an ill person, I have had a lot of time off of work. My employers have been good with me, and I have worked with them for 3 years so they know exactly what I am like and how ill I can be. They are normally really good with me and my colleges are very understanding and caring. I work in a pharmacy as a dispenser, but recently again have had a flare up that has caused me to have to go back to my wheelchair, hence why I am now off of work, and have been since August. I tried my hardest, when the flare up started I would go into work on crutches and sit on a stall all day in so much pain I would go home crying. It got to the point where I was making myself more ill trying to get into work and without even realising and not wanting to listen to the people closest to me I did end up a lot worse. Now not really being able to do anything for myself, my recently new fiance has to do everything for me. Although work has always been good with me, for some reason, (think it may have something to do with pressure from bosses high up) they are now making my work situation very hard, and I have absolutely no idea what to do, or where to look for help.
I think that today was the final straw for them, when I had to hand in another 'sick' note saying I could not work for at least another month.
I love my job and really miss it, so do not want them to sack me, I have no idea if there is anything I can do to stop this happening, as all of my colleges want me back and are fighting to keep my role open for me, but my manger is applying more pressure and I think is trying to get rid of me now.

If there is any one who has any ideas of what I could or should do, or would be willing to just simply have a little chat with me I would be so so grateful. I feel so alone and down about this, and am really worried about the money side of life too. If anyone knows of anything I may be entitled to financially also that would be a great help.

Anyone open to just have a chat would be so so helpful.

Thankyou for listening

Hannah x

elnafinn

Hi Hannah

I thought your name sounded familiar and looked at your past messages and of course you did the 10k run with your dad in 2010 and I remember that I sponsored you as I thought it was such a great thing that you were undertaking.

I am so sorry to read that you have not been well for some time now and have been struggling. Poor you, having to send in another "sick" note to a job that you love and now pressure is being put on your manager from those higher up in the chain thus making it more difficult and upsetting for you.

I am sorry that I cannot offer you any advice but I wish you to know that I fully sympathise and today must have been especially emotional for you.

My only suggestion would be to call the helplines on Monday as I feel it would be good for you to have a chat with someone there. They may well have some good ideas or be able to point you in the right direction for some help and advice . Worth a try.

Gentle hugs
Elna x

hannagoodwin

Oh wow, I didn't think I would be able to talk to someone who showed support for me and my dad when we did that back in 2010, so lovely to hear from you, it really is! Thankyou ever so much for that, and in the end we managed to raise well over £1200 for arthritis care and much to my surprise managed to actually do it, and in under an hour!

Thankyou, its really nice of you to reply, and your post has put a big smile on my face, after the day I have had, It really has knowing that there is someone here that is willing to listen and chat to me has made me feel a lot happier even if you don't feel that you cannot offer any advice, honestly you just have. I will ring them on monday, to be honest, I hadn't really thought about doing that, so thankyou.

I hope that you are well?
Sending love
Hannah x

elnafinn

Aw bless you, dear Hannah.

I know, you did so well on that walk with your dad. I was proud of you to even contemplate doing it, let alone finishing it in record time.

I have not actually called the helplines but I know people on here have and been helped immensely. It is good to talk and they will listen for as long as is necessary. I had the pleasure of meeting some of the helpline team a few years back when I visited AC in their old offices and had a quick tour of the building. So pleased I could perhaps help in a tiny way. Now you have something positive you can do on Monday. They are sometimes busy so you may not get through first time but persevere, it will be worth it, I am sure.

Do keep in touch. I look in most days a few times and will look out for you.

I hope you sleep well, methinks I shall get some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzs now.

I hope you have something nice to look forward to this weekend and that you are not in too much pain and discomfort.

Night, night, and a big, gentle hug,
Elna x

elnafinn

Hi again, Hannah!

Before I buzz off, you may be interested in joining the Expert Reference Group, if you are on FB. The details are at the top of the page under Announcements, if you would like to learn a little more about it. I have put my name forward.

Sleep tight,

Elna x

hannagoodwin

I will defo have to give them a call then will have to let you know how I get on, Thankyou. Just nervous about calling them as I know it sounds silly but I don't really know what to say to them

Thankyou, and of course I will keep in touch, like wise I hope you will too, as would be lovely to hear from you again, and has really cheered me up!

I will look into that, and get back to you, have a lovely weekend too, hopefully speak soon?
Night night

Hannah x

valval

hannagoodwin wrote:

I will defo have to give them a call then will have to let you know how I get on, Thankyou. Just nervous about calling them as I know it sounds silly but I don't really know what to say to them

Thankyou, and of course I will keep in touch, like wise I hope you will too, as would be lovely to hear from you again, and has really cheered me up!

I will look into that, and get back to you, have a lovely weekend too, hopefully speak soon?
Night night

Hannah x

do not worry about not knowing what to say they are used to it and will help you through. sorry you are having these problems but do not leave that job with out advice are you in a union i hope you are it will make them think twice about getting rid of you good luck lovely to see you back sorry life not better ((())) val

elnafinn

Good morning, Hannah!

Please do not worry about calling the helplines. When someone from there picks up your call, just say you would like to have a chat about your arthritis and work related problems.

If I were you I would begin the conversation exactly as you did in your message to the forum because it is an excellent, concise posting about yourself and where you are at now.

Look after yourself and stay in touch at least for a while

Hugs
Elna x

barbara12

Hello Hannah
Its lovely to see you, only I am sorry you are suffering, and like Elna I am another that sponsored you and your lovely father for the run.
I am always here to listen, and such a big believer in talking, sometimes it can feels like a cloud has been lifted ...so you get everything off your chest.
I cant really help with the work issues, but one thing I do know is that they have to accommodate your disability..but I suppose sometimes these things have to be asked for...then you say they are helpful, but then you get the ones that can and will make life hard.
You are such a brave lady, and this came over from your dad, hopefully someone will come along with more help on the work issues.
I do wish you well,and dont forget we are always here to talk to.
Take care (((((()))) xx

stickywicket

Hello Hannah and welcome from me too. I read your posts on the other forums last night but it was late and I was tired and didn’t feel I could do justice to them. Besides, I’ve been out of the workforce for so long I’d be no use on working matters. Well done you, though, for keeping going with work despite the difficulties.

I was diagnosed at 15 and, 50+ years on, I now have various metal bits but, all in all, have led a pretty charmed life. I noticed, in one of your other posts, you wrote ‘last year I stopped taking most of my med's for my arthritis due to having a lot less symptoms and thinking that I was okay on the arthritis side of life’. As you’ve now discovered, the hard way, this is never a good idea even when it seems so at the time :roll: We can so easily get lulled into a false sense of security but the beast is always there, lurking, and will take any opportunity to bite back. If you are now in a wheelchair you have paid dearly for your spot of optimism. I hope that, once you are established again on something that works well for you (After a break, the former meds sometimes don’t and others have to be tried) you will be on a more even keel again and feeling more optimistic about things. I notice that you have a fiance who 'has to do everything for me'. Hang on to that man I, too, have a good man at my side (Don't tell him I said that. I don't want to spoil him ) and, believe me, they are worth their weight in gold - and his weight is considerable these days

I think a chat with our Helplines people is a very good idea as you have so much on your plate right now but remember, Hannah, that we, too, are always here for a bit of support. Take care, now.

villier

Good morning Hannah

I just want to say "Hello" I am pretty new here, as you have started posting again I'm sure you must feel you have got over the first hudle by getting things off your chest, I see you already have had some sound advice from the others which I totally agree with, I'm sure the helpline will be able to give you some sound advice. Please post as much as you like as there is always someone about day or night to be there for you, you are such a brave girl with a positive attitude I'm sure everything will turn out fine for you, hope you are feeling a wee bit better............tc...........Marie (((())) xx

hannagoodwin

Morning all,
Waking up this morning to see that so many of you have taken time to reply back to me has really helped, it means a lot and everything you have all said is so lovely and helpful to me.

Valval - I really am hoping that I don't have to left this job, as I truely do love it, but no I am not part of a union so that is why I have no idea of where to start when it comes to finding help etc. Thank you

Elna - Hello again I know, i'm just a nervous type of person I suppose, having something like this from a young age kind of takes a lot of your confidence away I think. I am actually looking forwards to being able to ring them tomorrow now, like you said it has actually given me something to look forwards to! That is a very good point, and I will tell them basically what I came on here and told you guys, best starting place I suppose

Barbara - Hello, I do remember you! And all of the lovely messages of supportive you left for me and my dad I think that is what my mum is a big believer in too, just I have never really been very good at talking (probably just the nerves thing) but seeing all of the posts from you guys has made me feel a lot better about wanting to talk to people about it

Stickywicket - That's okay, I don't blame you, I felt tired last night but got to the point yesterday where I really just needed to tell someone how I was king of feeling I suppose, that is why waking up this morning and seeing that you guys are here to listen and are willing to talk to me has filling me with so much happiness and given me a boost Knowing that you have had arthritis since you were 15 is comforting in a way, as you have been through what I have been through so far I know about the meds and it was such a big mistake, I am learning that now, as you can tell but hey... can't turn back to clock so got to start again.
Yeah, my partner recently proposed to me in Nov so I was the happiest girl in the world, as you can imagine. He is defo a keeper, as you said, hang on to him. We have been through so much together, with me medically etc, but he has ALWAYS been there for me. Didn't think I would ever meet someone so supportive of me, how I am, and especially not at my age, most boys my age would normally run a mile with me how I am hehe. My partner is my rock, and I don't think I could to it without him, just as he already does so much for me I don't always like telling him how I feel 100% as I feel he does so much already.

Marie - Hello also my posted yesterday I did go to bed feeling exactly that, that I had started to get things off of my chest. I don't know if I can agree with you 'you are such a brave girl with a positive attitude' comment, although people close to me always try and tell me that, hopefully I will be again one day... soon

Knowing that you are all here and are so willing to help and chat with me is such a big thing for me at the moment. I honestly really appreciate it, and will always be here to talk to you guys if you need it too

I will let you know how giving the helpline a ring goes, and get back to you if I find any thing out about what to do. Your messages are such a big help and a real confidence boost that I think I really needed at the moment, so thanks to ALL of you!!

Hope you are all well, and here for you all too please keep in touch.

Love to all you wonderful people!
Hannah x

stickywicket

I'm glad we've been of some help, Hannah. There are some great people on here and I, for one, wouldn't be without them. I'm sure all will go well when you ring the helplines but I'll wish you luck just to be on the safe side

valval

good luck and big (((hug))) never wasted so here you are val

villier

Hi Hannah

Just thought I would say hello, hope things are looking a wee bit better today, oh! i forgot to say congratulations on your engagement pet, as Sticky said hold on to him he sounds an absolute gem...........tc.........Marie xx

elnafinn

Hi Hannah!

Just a thought, if you have the time or inclination,you may like to have a quick look at three links that I added from FB .... three people who have started blogs about their lives with arthritis. They are on the Young People's zone, a little bit down the first page.

I hope you are doing ok today.

Hugs
Elna x

kentishlady

Hi Hannah. Just thought I would pop by and say hello to you. I think you are doing really well to cope with everything and do hope that things will improve for you. Your Fiance sounds lovely and congratulations to you both. It really does help to have someone to support you. Do hope you are feeling a little better today. ((())) Beryl

bubbadog

Hi Hannah, A belated Welcome back to Arthritis Care!! Sorry it's a little late as I've been on holiday! Everyone is so great here so you will always find someone to chat too.
I spoke with the Arthritis Care Helpline it was them I went to 1st when I was having a really bad time, I was close to being depressed, I was lost. And the helpline really helped me and pointed me in the direction of the forum. If it wasn't for the helpline and the forum I don't want to think what would have happened to me!
As for work, The job centre has a disability section (if it's still there which it should be!) who may be able to help you with that, they could meadeate between you & your boss and if it's possible come to an arrangement. Maybe worth looking in to. And I'm sure the others on the forum have passed on their knowledge to you, which they all have in masses!! If you ever want to chat I'm back now and I'm always about! So just P.M (sure you know! Private message) me. Welcome back again.