Coping and guilt

WoodyEngland Member Posts: 40
With my arthritis it seems to go around in circles I can be ok for days then it will hit me and I can't stand up or walk and can't hold my weight under my feet and am in severe pain, this then disibates over a few days and I feel no pains at all and all is well and I feel like a fraud as I don't have any pain then it will strike again and I'm back on the floor crawling on my hands and knees in agony unable to do simple things like bath cook clean, this is when my wife has to take over looking after me as we'll as the house and two kids getting out of the bath she has to help me I feel incredibly guilty that she should not have to be doing this for a 32 year old man the cold weather seems to effect me more and I'm finding my self having a bath every night now soaking my feet to try numb the pain is it just me who has this horrible cycle of been ok to been bad and unable to stand I was also wondering of there was any arthritis groups in the Calderdale halifax area of west yorks with members who are a similar age to me and if you can purchase foot wear that helps you with arthritis that you can wear at work ie steel toe capped regards chris :0( lieing on my bed in agony again at home)


  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,513
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Woody

    Just poking my nose in here as being a forum member like you I dounderstand the guilty feeling.

    When you feel you have let them all down and are if anything a hindrance :( but just try reversing it for a second and imagine it was your wife in your shoes. You would be helping her wouldn't you? You would mind would you?

    Neither does she I am certain

    Take a look at this link - there are branches your way:

    You are so right - meeting others in a similar position helps. I have met a few folk off here,(and made some lifetime friends), and two in particular live really close to me which has been fantastic.

    Take care woody


    Toni xx
  • helpline_team
    helpline_team Posts: 3,027
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Woody

    Thanks for your posting.

    I’m really sorry to hear about the difficulties your arthritis is causing you and how much it can vary from day to day. Toni (frogmorton) gave you a link to the branches in your area and for information on the best footwear it may be worth speaking to a physiotherapist or podiatrist first (you can ask your doctor for a referral), or you can contact the Disabled Living Foundation, as they would have some information on this as well (

    You are welcome to ring us anytime you would like to have a chat about things and we can also send you out information on arthritis by post.

    All the best

    Helplines Team
  • wall1409
    wall1409 Member Posts: 294
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Woody

    I've been there and I too felt guilty but as my husband said, its something that cant be helped. As for the foot pain I wear thermal socks from the sports shops even with my slippers at home and trust me it helps, you should also try gel insoles for your shoes.