missing my mom today

frogmella
frogmella Member Posts: 1,111
edited 21. Jan 2013, 07:09 in Community Chit-chat archive
Hi,

I didn't know where else to turn to "talk" today so came here. My mom would have been 58 today and I am really missing her. I suppose we all want our moms when we are having a rough time. She died of breast cancer in April 2010. I have already cried a few times today. Really not like me, I am the strong silent type! lol!

She was a lot like me. We used to talk about the books we had read, the crosswords we were doing etc. We used to go for walks and cook and all the usual things. I miss her so much.

Thanks for listening.

Helen

Comments

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,697
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm so sorry, Helen, but it's good that you felt able to write about her on here. It sounds like you had a lovely relationship which is something to hang on to. In fact, it can never be taken away. Some people have less than ideal relationships with their Mums so no happy memories. I like the 'strong, silent type' attitude but we all need somewhere and some times when we can just tell it like it is. Give yourself the sort of day you feel you need and don't apologise for it. (())
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • LignumVitae
    LignumVitae Member Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Helen,

    Here is a huge hug from me! Your Mum sounds lovely and what a fabulous relationship to be able to savour. I hope you spend today doing something you and she would have enjoyed doing together - even if it is reading a book or doing a crossword. She made quite a special daughter didn't she?!

    Love LV xx
    Hey little fighter, things will get brighter
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,280
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Hellen
    You have come to the right place, we are always here for one another, like you say we always miss our mums,especially when feeling poorly....my lovely mum died nearly 30years ago with the same...like you even now some day I have a good cry .....
    It will do you good to have that cry and know that your mum is there watching over you..and helping in her own way.
    Sending you lots of gentle hugs (((((())))wish I could give them for real.. :) xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • frogmella
    frogmella Member Posts: 1,111
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Aww thanks guys. Crying again now! You are all correct - we did have a great relationship. To be honest I mostly do think about all the good times we had and am thankful that I had such a great mom even if she went too soon. Thank you for the virtual hugs, they were much needed today.
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,280
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Aww Helen
    You cry away, I am betting you will feel easier at the end of it...you have to get it out....till the next time ((((())) xx :)
    Love
    Barbara
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Helen, I know how you feel, although they are gone we still need them or like their advice on something. Especially when you had a close relationship with them. I was thinking about my dad a couple of nights ago and wondered what he would said and done about a problem my husband was having. And I started crying thinking about his funny nature. And I just missed having him around. It really hurts still.
    We are lucky to have our big AH family on here to cushion the pain. Sending you a huge (((()))).
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,697
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    frogmella wrote:
    Thank you for the virtual hugs, they were much needed today.

    Have a few more, Helen. ((()))
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • frogmella
    frogmella Member Posts: 1,111
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you all again. You are all so kind on here, I count myself lucky to have your support. :D

    Bubba - you are spot on, I think sometimes "oh Mom would know" but I can't call to ask her!
  • mike26
    mike26 Member Posts: 416
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi frogmella
    an i bet she missing you u sound as tho you had a great relationship
    with your mum,and when we loose someone so close its very hard.
    but we can look back and remember all those special times we had and
    its always very special to us.
    love you always mum&dad.. god bless mike26...
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi hun.. I am so sorry that you lost your Mum, I cannot even contemplate that... I miss my Dad a great deal, he died last August and it is still very raw.
    You ain't alone hun, we are all here for you.

    Xxx
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • frogmella
    frogmella Member Posts: 1,111
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you again. I am sorry about your dad too, Tony. (())
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I think we have all lost somebody very close to us. My OH has lost both his mom & Dad (I was very,very close to them and called them mom & dad) and I know cause he said it to me he feels alone in the world because he doesn't have them to talk to. He knows he has me but like alot of you have said we all need our mom & dad sometimes! And I feel like that too with loosing mom & dad (in law) as I don't have a close relationship with my blood mom it's more like she's a friend! And I'm astranged from my (d) I refuse to call him my father after a really bad arguement where he told me 'he didn't give a f**k about his children!' I asked him do you really mean that 100% mean that? and he said yes! That broke me because before that I had a real close relationship with him. I haven't heard or seen him for over 6yrs now.
    My OH & I have lost friends and relatives over the years, but we have such a tight bond that know matter what happens we will have each other. Wow sorry for pouring that all out! I have never spoke about that for years now!! I don't know why I opened up!!
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I missed this yesterday- I just couldn't find the right words. Sorry Helen. I have lost both parents and often think of them and so know your pain. Your Mum was young so you must have expected more time together and its so awful having to adjust to her not being there because we always need our Mums.


    Amanda that is so sad and I hope you feel better for posting it. I really don't know why parents say such awful things but he obviously wanted to hurt you at the time and spoke in the heat of the moment and I sincerely hopes he regrets it. Its usually pride that stops people apologising.

    My love to you both
    Elizabeth x
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • constable
    constable Member Posts: 2,115
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I think as Barbara said, have a good cry, it does really help. Gets everything out in the open. I lost my mum and dad is the space of a year and a half. I have some really lovely memories of them both. They were both amazing people. I cryed so so much but things do improve as the years go by. You have lots and lots of wonderful memories to cherish.
    Karen xx
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Awww Helen :(

    My Mum died 5 years ago and I still have 'bad sad' days. Then there are the days where l want to ring her.

    We too shared a love of books - it's HER fault!!!

    Bless you - give in today and think of her - I promise tomorrow will be better.

    Take care now

    love and ((()))

    Toni xxx
  • frogmella
    frogmella Member Posts: 1,111
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Bubba - I was sorry to read about your father. I am estranged from my father too, not seen him since I was 18. He was/is a bully and I don't regret not having anything to do with him. It is funny how many people out there have awful parents. I spent a long time thinking it was only me but then I have met you and others who don't have anything to do with one parent, or worse, both. In my mind I only had my Mom.

    Elizabeth - you are right. I did expect more time. The big C stole her in her prime. She had a rough time with my father and never really let it go.

    Constable - that must have been hard to lose both parents so close together. Having/allowing myself to cry did make me feel better. Lets it all out so that you can get on with things.

    Toni - I often think "I'll just ring Mom" and then catch myself. I suppose that will never stop really.

    Its funny really because parents die, that's what they do, but we all feel it so strongly when they follow the laws of nature.

    Thanks again to you all. (())
  • applerose
    applerose Member Posts: 3,621
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It's nearly 2 years since I lost my mam. I often wonder what she would think or do about something and feel there are so many questions I want to ask her and so many things I want to tell her. I think we always have the feeling that our parents have been there all of our life so far and will be there forever. That's what makes it so difficult for us when they do go. I think it does us good to give in and cry once in a while so go ahead. You'll feel better for it. (((hugs)))
    Christine
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Helen, I call my estranged (d) the sperm donor! He was a bully and was very nasty, hence don't see him. My mom loves the name 'sperm donor' and it has sticked that's what we call him all of us even my sister! As far as I'm concerned my Dad passed away when my OH's did because that was my Dad. And my mom (blood) I hardly see, maybe be twice a year if I'm lucky! And she only lives just outside Stratford-upon-Avon, and worse we can't go and see her because her new partner doesn't like it! We have never been invited to see their new home, I've seen a photo of it!! And the only way I chat with my mom is by email or text! She's more like a friend than a mother, even my sister (who I see all the time!)agree's with that! So I had more of a parent relationship with my mother & father in-law hence I called them mom & dad. I still think to myself when I have a problem that needs sorted what would mom or dad do/say It does bring a pang of hurt because I can't phone and ask them. Also if I hear a certain song that I knew mom or dad loved that brings a few tears still for my OH & I.