The body shop - reviews

stickywicket

Review of the stickywicket body

I can only give this product one star. Even in Shakespeare’s day it would have been designed to last for ‘threescore years and ten’. In twenty-first century Britain, my age-group is supposed to be living it up with the power of the ‘grey pound’. My contemporaries acquired bodies which enabled them to pursue this goal and I feel very let down by this utterly inferior brand which has consistently proved so useless to operate and expensive to maintain that it denies me my right to squander my children’s inheritance on world cruises, the latest technology and toy boys.

Instead, it seems I acquired a low grade package which, despite conscientious maintenance, has only ever worked intermittently. I am prepared to overlook the early ‘traction engine’ wheezes which meant that, even in the school playground, the SW body failed to match the staying-power of its fellow models. The real rot set in when I had had it for a mere 15 years and I’m reliably informed that an incident 4 years earlier was the true start of the downward roll.

Despite having had only one careful owner, since then it’s been a constant procession to the spare parts dept. to replace one bit here and another bit there, not to mention bits that were merely removed and not replaced. The whole thing creaks, groans and frequently grinds to a halt. In damp it rusts and in heat it wilts. Its shape has been an aesthetic disaster for years.

In summary, do not purchase this product whatever guarantees you may be given of unlimited spare parts. It is fit only for the scrap heap though I am determined to get a fair bit of mileage out of it yet. As long as replacement bits, plastic padding and lump hammers are available this unlovely edifice will be coerced reluctantly into action.

However, if any reader should be acquainted with a toy boy who owns a vineyard and has a penchant for the unusual, borderline-antique with a highly developed sense of optimism……

barbara12

I think our SW needs some hugs...I know you do not do them but here they are ((((()))...tell you what I would purchase your brain.....

PowerOn

I think the SW humour is worth top dollar :-)

dreamdaisy

I was given my body in the nine months preceeding 02 March 1959, it came out faulty, repaired itself briefly, then had severe trouble with its bodywork from 18 months of age to about its mid 20s. At the age of 7 years it also developed engine problems for which there were no answers until the first powdered inhalers were created: these relaxed the air passages sufficiently for the body to run fairly smoothly but, similar to the first review above, nowhere near enough to keep up with its peers.

A chronic exhaust problem then came along, at its worst in the heights of summer but also present throughout the rest of the year. It was termed year-round rhinitis by the mechanics who were meant to help things, it was manifest by a constantly dripping nose and violent sneezing fits. After a while this faded, only to be replaced with a new set of troubles - and a new set of accompanying mechanics with whom I am not enjoying a rewarding relationship. 'Twas ever thus.

Like the previous reviewer I cannot give this rubbish I own anything more than one star - in fact I begrudge giving it even that. It failed from its first appearance on this planet and has never pleased once throughout its nearly 54 years of existence. I comfort myself with the thought that I only have about 20 years left. That's more than enough.

If anyone ever offers you the temptation of aquiring an arthritis DO NOT BE FOOLED into accepting. It is indeed a gift that keeps on giving but not in a nice way. DD

mig

Now then young Sticky behave yourself,there's a saying in the bible "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" if I had half your spirit I would think myself very lucky.
Now about this wine and toy boy does he wear Lycra . Mig

Numptydumpty

Both bodies reviewed thus far, also have beautiful hearts and souls, and a cracking sense of humour.

frogmorton

Sticky (and DD)

That may have been written in frustration, but it was done brilliantly!

I really had to smile and thank you (Both) for the time it must have taken to write the descriptions of the 'products' you have.

Maybe a hunky mechanic with a vineyard might be the answer???

Take care

Toni xxx

Catie

Sticky and DD, your posts made me smile too . I'm not sure what I would write about mine - beyond description

stickywicket

Thank you, everyone, for your kind and, in some cases, wholly inaccurate, comments. A heart, Numpty Moi :shock: Wash your mouth out

Barbara – the brain is the worst bit. It gets me into far more trouble than the body. I didn’t realise I needed a hug or two but thank you. They are much appreciated and I’ve got my mask on so I won’t infect you with my current batch of germs.

DD – A great review of a clearly less-than-great body. Maybe we have at some point bathed in the same sub-standard gene pool. I confess to being intrigued by your ‘chronic exhaust problems’ Would you care to elaborate? (Preferably without a demo )

Mig – of course. Only lycra-wearing toy boys considered. A must when serving the wine.

Frog – a hunky mechanic (in lycra, mig) with a vineyard would do fine. I’ve learned not to be picky

dachshund

Hello Sticky
when we are born all the things we have wrong are sent to try us and to see how we get on with the problems we have it can be very hard at times but we try.
i think everyone on here have more than they need of all the pains and problems.
thank you for making us laugh we all need to laugh.
((((((((sticky))))))))
joan xx

ShulaArcher

Hi everybody but especially SW and DD

Really enjoyed reading this. I believe there is a very wealthy chap in Jersey who may be interested in what you have to offer. And while you're searching him out, it's a great holiday destination.

Shula

tjt6768

dearest residents of the arthritic world.
I would happily be a hunky mechanic with vinyard if it were not for the fact that i have the broken body of a decripit Frankenstien reject.
All was well for a short spell as a snotty nosed youth. I had my share of being a kid, riding bikes and jumping in the canal etc. Mind you, I was very accident prone and spent many a time at orthopeadics at the LGI.. many a bone was broken which I'm quite sure led to weaknesses once the evil beastie arthur decided to be my life partner, not in a gay way you understand, not that I'm here to judge lol
No, he is the kind of life partner you would love to kill..
He first took a liking to my knees at around thirteen/fourteen yrs of age and rapidly spoilt my childhood! Not content with the fact that I would never ride a bike again or even kneel down, he decided the lower spine was fair game and moved in there too..
I thought that would appease him, alas, he was not letting me off THAT lightly..... His friend sero-negative shacked up within my hands and wrists and has now maneuvered upwards to the elbows and shoulders.. meanwhile, the evil osteo has crept into the neck. .

So my dear dear wimmin friends. .
Pick someone else lol

Sorry for being awol again!
Not having a great time lately. Struggling a lot.
Have a wedding tomorrow. Full day event so if anyone has spare spoons I would be very very grateful.

Xx

constable

Sticky, DD and Tony

Thanks....This was the first thing I saw this morning. And was lovely to read. You have certainly set my day off in such a good way. Thankyou.
A little bit of humour goes a long way.

Susiesoo

Oh Sticky and DD - you make me laugh and you make me cry. I am so pleased you both have such a sense of humour and such empathy for those around you, even as you struggle. Especially us on here. You are both always so supportive of everyone and you will never know what a help that is.

Tony - it is good to see you on here again, but I am so sorry to see your new location. I am sure we all preferred it when you were behind us shouting boo and making us jump. Thinking of you.

Susie