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Retiree Health Message

villiervillier Posts: 4,426
edited 1. Feb 2013, 11:05 in Community Chit-chat archive
As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I came to realize that I don't really give hoot. It's the tortoise life for me!

1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish,drinks water, and is fat.

3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.

4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years!!

And you tell me to exercise?I don't think so!I'm retired.Go around me!

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here - I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

16. It's not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...
I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

20. DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE..........?????? :lol:
Smile a while and while you smile
smile another smile and soon there
will be miles and miles of smiles
just because you smiled I wish your
day is full of Smiles


  • newbygrannewbygran Posts: 96
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    i loved your reasoning there; it reminded me of my grandson he said he had no plum's to be a plumber, aged 5, there is a ditty? why run when you can walk ,why walk when you can stand, why stand when you can sit, why sit when you can lie, why l lie when the truth is needed. as told to me by my grandad, :o
  • barbara12barbara12 Posts: 20,943 ✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Brilliant Marie...I totally agree with it all that :lol: I went to the gym and walked everywhere... :roll: some use...
    And the absent minded....thats me...
  • NumptydumptyNumptydumpty Posts: 6,494
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
  • stickywicketstickywicket Posts: 25,998 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :lol: Thanks, Marie. Laughter is definitely the best medicine - though no substitute for a general anaesthetic :wink:
    “There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken
  • constableconstable Posts: 2,115
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks, I really enjoyed that. :lol:
    Karen xx
  • wall1409wall1409 Posts: 294
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Excellent, stuff worrying that my weight has increased.


    Wendy x
  • jillyb1jillyb1 Posts: 1,725
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Really made me giggle , thank you for that little gem . Jillyb
  • mellman01mellman01 Posts: 5,303
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thats to close to the mark for me!. :lol:
  • katekellykatekelly Posts: 975
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Did you mention absent-minded?

  • frogmortonfrogmorton Posts: 26,327 ✭✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    katekelly wrote:
    Did you mention absent-minded?


    Not sure Kate :roll:

    Toni xxx
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