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Arthritis - the lighter side

stickywicketstickywicket Posts: 25,998 ✭✭✭
edited 6. Feb 2013, 14:37 in Living with Arthritis archive
It happened years ago. In those days, if you were one of the early appointments at my rheumatology clinic, you’d to queue to present your appointment card at the desk as later appointments often came in good time with a view to getting in as soon as possible.

On this particular day the queue was exceptionally long. We were all transferring our weight from one aching limb to another, leaning against the wall or the desk if we were fortunate enough to have reached that haven.

The very little, very old, very bent woman hobbled with great difficulty and determination to the desk. “Am I in the right place for the arthritis clinic, love?” she asked.

The receptionist glanced up. “Yes, just stand at the end of the queue.”

The old girl put her handbag down on the floor. Painfully she swivelled round so that her gaze could travel slowly from the receptionist all the way down the queue and then back up again. She looked astonished. “Nay lass” she laughed. “If I could do that I wouldn’t be here.”

:wink: There’s humour in arthritis. Let’s find it. Share your anecdotes. Laughter's the best medicine.
“There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken

Comments

  • LignumVitaeLignumVitae Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Bless her! I once shared a waiting room with a fascinating lady who was researching sex and arthritis. That led me to discuss it with a medic who I was working whpith who had far too many stories about people who had dislocated replacement hips whilst trying out their new found flexibility. Possibly not that funny depending on where you are stood/lay/sitting at the time but I liked the idea of scores of people getting into the same situation :D there should be warnings about it.
    Hey little fighter, things will get brighter
  • stickywicketstickywicket Posts: 25,998 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh but there are :) Or, I guess, like all other things arthritic, there are if you have your op in the right hospital. I distinctly remember being issued with my leaflet detailing, among other, more boring, stuff, when and how we could resume normal bedtime activities – basically after 6 weeks and in the Missionary Position for some time as I recall but it might have been lying on the affected side. I do recall that ‘vigorous sex’ was discouraged but they didn’t elaborate on that and, as I hadn’t done vigorous anything for some years, I didn’t bother seeking clarification :lol:
    “There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken
  • dreamdaisydreamdaisy Posts: 31,567 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    So, there I was a little earlier this afternoon, mooching around the ground floor wondering what I could do to ease the pain in my groin. My eyes alighted on my little pot of Red Tiger balm so I thought I'd give it a whirl. Twerp.

    All went well while I was rubbing it into the top of my right inner thigh. Then I walked back upstairs and all hell let loose. Thanks to 'transfer' the inside of my left thigh started to 'burn' plus the area in between. :oops: :lol: A hastily- applied cold soapy flannel soon sorted things to a certain extent.

    Note to self: apply with greater care and wear your meth gloves too. It has helped more then the Voltarol I've been doing, the area needs heat rather than muscle-easing but trying to wedge a hottie in there is not easy. Oh these things are sent to try us - and make us yelp! :) DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • migmig Posts: 7,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :o :shock: :roll:
  • barbara12barbara12 Posts: 20,942 ✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks for the laugh SW its was very welcome, and DD sorry should laugh i know...but that is something I would do...hope the area has calmed down.. :o
    Love
    Barbara
  • stickywicketstickywicket Posts: 25,998 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :shock: Ouch, DD! I'm wincing for you. However, I'm sure Mr DD could have enlightened you as to the dangers of using it in so sensitive an area. As the wife of one sporting type and the mother of another, I'm well aware that a common 'prank' among the sporting fraternity is to coat a fellow player's jockstrap with a similar product :lol:
    “There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken
  • LignumVitaeLignumVitae Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Ouchy ouch DD! Was that the best aversion therapy ever?
    Hey little fighter, things will get brighter
  • StarburstStarburst Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    What a great story, Sticky! It made me smile on a Monday morning, no mean feat! :lol:

    And DD - :o:o cor blimey!
  • newbygrannewbygran Posts: 96
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Reading this, reminded me of the embarrasing moment I had a couple of years ago, While on our allotment I was admiring some self seeded foxgloves, they were in full flower, when i got stung by a bee which had climbed up my trousers, yes you've guessed it, right by my thingy, :o there was screams from me and howls of laughter from my other half as I ran in the greehouse and pulled my trousers down, I demanded to be check for the bee sting by him, forgot everyone could see through the windows, there was me doubled up in pain and him doubled up in laughter walking back home. next day had emergency appointment at docs I had very swollen leg, came away with cream, antibiotics, and pain killers, glad it was lady doc, even she had a giggle. I don't grow foxgloves now. :P
  • stickywicketstickywicket Posts: 25,998 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :lol::lol::lol: Brilliant, newbygran. I just love the idea of you rushing into....the greenhouse :o I hope the meds worked. What a rude bee :!:
    “There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken
  • NumptydumptyNumptydumpty Posts: 6,494
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :? That reminds me of the day three summer's ago, it was hot, and I was feeling rough. I needed my bed. I crawled up the stairs, into my bedroom, stripped off and climbed into bed. I was just beginning to doze, when I felt something tickle my bum! I moved a little but the tickling continued. I was very stiff, and tried in vain to sit up. Then it stung me!!! It was a wasp, and it stung me three times, on my bum before I managed to get out of its way. I can laugh now, but I couldn't sit at the time :lol:
  • tjt6768tjt6768 Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm glad I don't blush easily :shock: :o:lol:
    Lol
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • Colin1Colin1 Posts: 1,769
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I must tell you something funny that happened to me
    I was on holiday in Devon when I came across an ice cream parlour
    Every flavour under the sun, I left my scooter outside and hobbled in.
    The smell brought me back to my childhood and the times we went
    to Capaldies in Kensington in the late 50s it was wonderful.
    I shuffled over to a high stool at the counter and after some struggling and
    Wincing I managed to get my bum on the seat of the stool.
    A pretty young girl askd “ yes sir what can I get you2” Ill have a knicker bocker glory with raspberry on the top please, off she went talking to me as she made my knicker bocker glory
    I watched her put the raspberry on and I asked her to give me plenty, She looked at me in a sort of sexy way and said CRUSHED NUTS I said no its arthritis.
    WHEN GOD GIVES YOU LEMONS MAKE LEMONADE
  • migmig Posts: 7,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Tut tut Colin .Mig
  • bubbadogbubbadog Posts: 5,852
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    A few years ago I went shopping with a friend and we hired a couple of scooters I had a brand new shiney one, we went round a few shops and decided to look in this department stores, we came to the end of a display of shoes and my friend did a 3 point turn and suggested going to another part of the store I said ok I will just turn round and we can head there. I turned the scooter hitting several shoe displays and knocking them over as I did! I managed to rip the bumper off the new scooter as well so put the bumper in the basket and raced from the scene of the crime! The shop mobility where no to happy when I brought back the scooter but it was easy to fix but they said I would have older scooters in future!!
  • NumptydumptyNumptydumpty Posts: 6,494
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :lol::lol::lol:
    Oh Bubbadog! :lol::lol::lol:
  • kellermankellerman Posts: 741
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    What a wonderful thread this is. I had a similar experience to DD though mine was with Dettol of all things.Self inflicted agony and a load of laughs from my so called friends.This was many years ago but I'm in a traumatised state thinking about it.
  • newbygrannewbygran Posts: 96
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    my girl Jo, makes me laugh when she comes in loaded up with shopping, she shouts buckaroo and chucks the bags of shopping everywere, does anyone remember the game where you put things on a donkey and it chucks everything everywhere,she had one as a child. didn't know the out come of that pressie. :roll:
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