Scottish three kick rule

villier

A Glasgow lawyer went duck hunting in rural Aberdeenshire . He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Scotland and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Mintlaw. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

(I love this part)

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear.

When you're intelligent, you know which half.

Slainte!

barbara12

Marie I dont know were you are getting these from but I love it

villier

I get a lot of stuff sent to me Barbara, it's good to have a laugh and if you can share them with other people even better, although some of them I couldn't post as I would get thrown off the forum xx

barbara12

villier wrote:

I get a lot of stuff sent to me Barbara, it's good to have a laugh and if you can share them with other people even better, although some of them I couldn't post as I would get thrown off the forum xx

Oh go on be a devil..... :shock:

frogmorton

he he he he!!!

very good thank you

newbygran

just shown this joke to O H, he is Scottish and had a good chuckle, more please.

stickywicket

Nice one, Marie.

numptynora

Excellent villier
that gave me a good chuckle

Numps x