Arthritis Care Course

alisunny

So last week I went on my first session of the self management course. I am not quite sure what happened but I cried all the way home! Don't think it was meant to have that affect!!

Everyone in the course seemed a far bit older, which I was expecting. But I don't know if its a older thing, or whether I am just so rubbish at talking, probably a bit of both, but everybody else sat there going on about this doctor or that doctor or i've got this and that and I am in pain and suffer with this etc. I just kind of sat there. There was quite a few people who seemed fragile and old and frail who I felt I should be looking after, asking them about things and letting them talk, making them tea. Just making sure they were fine. Yet at the same wanting someone to do that for me. It was so odd and I was so angry at myself afterwards.

I thought it as going to be a place where I could be honest but I found myself sitting there thinking that I should keep quiet and make sure everyone else was okay.

There were times where I wanted to scream and shout about the fact that I was younger and going through the same, but then at the same time I was feeling bad that I seem to be able to achieve and do things such as exercise so much easier than the other people in the group.

I think i just left feeling so confusing and upset and strange.....

Has anyone else been on one of these courses? Did it help? How did you find them?
Ali x

stickywicket

I’ve never attended one of these courses, Ali, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to cry all the way home. That was presumably because you’d invested a lot of hope in this course and yet you felt you’d got very little out of it.

I know you said in an earlier post that you find it hard to talk to others about your arthritis so I’m sure that’s a factor. However, if the others were mostly much older than you, and talking freely, that wouldn’t help either.

I can smile at the idea of feeling you needed to look after them because I’ve been there and done that. Old people can be very self-centred (I’m 66 and heading rapidly in that direction :oops: ) and regardless of the needs of younger people. But you are every bit as entitled as them to get what you can from this course.

Don’t feel bad because you can do things that they can’t. Surely, one of the points of the course is that, maybe, with encouragement, they could. If you want to ‘do something for them’ encourage them to do things for themselves.

It might help if you arrived early for the next session and had a quick word with whoever is giving the course. It is his/her job to ensure everyone benefits not just the older, more vocal ones.

elnafinn

Hi Ali

I read your posting with interest but was sorry to learn that it was not as you had envisaged for one reason or another.

I have never been to one but those that have attended and told us about it on the forum appear positive about the courses.

It is good to hear the other side, in that perhaps AC can make some changes. I am not sure who you would approach but I wondered if you called the helplines and had a chat about the course and your thoughts on it. It may well help you and them too, especially as they will more than likely know who to pass your views on to about the course you attended. Or better still who you could speak to directly.

Elna x

dreamdaisy

I attended one of these (mine was a two-week course) and yes, it was dominated by older people - keeping them 'on topic' wasn't that easy at times. I think loneliness was a factor, they just revelled in having people to talk to. I found the challenges interesting and picked up some good tips but it is necessary to speak up for oneself - this was only your first session, now the ice is broken, you've met the people, and hopefully the next one will go better for you. How many are you due to have? DD

daffy2

Hi Ali
I did the 6 week course a few months ago and found it helpful, so I'm sorry that your initial session was so upsetting.I wonder if seeing a collection of 'crumblies' and listening to their problems made you think 'is this what I've got to look forward to?', which wouldn't do much to raise your spirits. Your comment about feeling you should help them, but wanting to be looked after yourself I think we can all sympathise with, it's all part of the struggle to come to terms with your condition.Sticky's suggestion to have a word with the organiser is a good one - he/she may assume you were quiet from choice rather than feeling unable to contribute.
It would be worth trying another session before giving up, to see if the person leading the group can move it on from the generalised grumbles and onto more useful things and amongst the collective experiences there may be tips and advice you would find helpful.
Here's to a drier trip home next time!

frogmorton

Hi Ali

I felt similar at the one i went on, but Luckily went with Roses1 off here and we were both younger Also one of the trainers had her 30th birthday during teh course.

I did feel protective towards them - they had other issues too emphysema, etc

BUT over time they became quite caring towards us younguns and concerned for us I think. I still pop in to see them now and it was 18 months ago and was held at their sheltered housing place.

Maybe can you try one more session??

Love

Toni xxx

alisunny

Thank you all your responses. That has been a real help.
It's a 6 week course so still a bit to go.
I think it was defiantly a mixture of not being what I expected and getting upset over my own frustraition over not being able to speak up. This next session I am going to make a real effort to get what I want to get out of it. I will let you all know how I get on. At least my action plan for the week (my homework) has been completed! It was to achieve at least 2 30min sessions in the gym, I have done 2 50min sessions so that's fab!

ichabod6

You are not attending a support group; it is a self management
course. As with a lot of things in life the more you put into it,
the more you will get out of it. Get involved and take from the
course anything you find useful.

elnafinn

alisunny wrote:

At least my action plan for the week (my homework) has been completed! It was to achieve at least 2 30min sessions in the gym, I have done 2 50min sessions so that's fab!

YAY, well done, Ali. I am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too. So some good did come out of the session. Do not under estimate yourself. I am sure the next session will be easier and more pleasurable for you.

Hugs
Elna x

dreamdaisy

Oh, I would love to do a six-week one, I went on the two-week one and it was very helpful. It takes time for any group to 'gel' and I bet some of the older ones have had trouble in doing their homework. Ichabod makes a good point, it is about learning how to help oneself - the more you can put in the more you will take out but if you are naturally shy then that is far from easy. You will have a better idea next week of what's what so good luck - be brave, imagine us all sitting behind you cheering you on. DD

shandy4greenday

I am due to go on mine this Tueday as I was at the hospital for the first week and was unable to change my appointment.I am looking forward to it and hope it helps as I am newly diagnosed.

daffy2

Good for you Ali on completing your homework. You've got the personal satisfaction of having succeeded, and at your next session you'll get further satisfaction in reporting your success to the group.I'm sure you'll find the next meeting easier now.