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Clothes and husbands

stickywicketstickywicket Posts: 26,003 ✭✭✭
edited 28. Feb 2013, 18:49 in Community Chit-chat archive
I hate clothes. I know I’m a disgrace to my sex :oops: I used to spend hours planning what to wear as a teenager but that was before arthritis and a mastectomy made everything simpler…and harder.

Buttons, poppers and zips are all tricky. Some are possible: others aren’t. I just have to suck it and see. Trousers (no skirts as my feet require socks to cushion even the surgical shoes) have to be a size too big so that my feeble grip can yank them over my not-so-feeble backside :roll: but, even so, I often can’t fasten the top button – which is fine with a blouse or sweater covering that area but not so fine if, going out, I’ve enlisted the aid of Mr SW to fasten it for safety’s sake and then discovered I can’t unfasten the b*gg*r to get to the loo :mrgreen:

I gratefully ditched my bra in the early ‘70’s. I’d nothing much to put into it and my very arthritic fingers were beginning to loathe it. After the mastectomy I was determined there was no going back so I kept to blouses with pockets and shoved an alarmingly :shock: small bit of kapok stuffing into the one that didn’t stick out. This system has worked well until the last year or two when I’ve noticed that either pockets are getting higher or I’m sinking. (No. I don’t need to know :lol: )

So, when I bought a new blouse on Sunday I deliberately got a size too big hoping that the pocket, pattern and extra material would combine to mask my limitations in the breast department. I tried it on today.

“Is it obvious” I asked my beloved, “that I’m somewhat deficient in the bosom area?”

He stared thoughtfully at that portion of my anatomy, stuck his head on one side, pursed his lips and replied “It’s not obvious but….”

“It’s not going to be obvious unless someone’s looking straight at it?” I suggested. That was good enough for me.

“Mm.” He continued to gaze dispassionately at my blouse pocket area then his face brightened up a little as he added, helpfully, “I shouldn’t imagine many people are going to be looking at your bosom.” :o :? :lol:
“There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken


  • fowls48fowls48 Posts: 1,357
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Ahh Sticky

    I was so sure you were going to mention Mr SW'S socks , was i wrong or was i wrong .
    I think Velcro would be the best bet for us Although it does stick to other things on the wash :roll: We cannot win them all , Thanks for sharing your story it was lovely .

    Karen xx
  • migmig Posts: 7,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sticky this made me smile,i have been lacking in the boob department too,only when pregnant was there anything there to speak of,UNTIL steroids,then as I put steroid weight on the boobs appeared till I eventually I had a cleavage :shock: now unfortunately as I am off the steroids they are slowly disappearing :x Mr Mig said never mind I love you no matter what :o Mig
  • dachshunddachshund Posts: 7,843 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Sticky
    i go by what the person's like not what they look like and you are kind and lovely and happy.
    i'm only small up above.
    joan xx
    take care
    joan xx
  • barbara12barbara12 Posts: 20,948 ✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh sticky that is priceless :lol: ...bless him.. how near was he to getting a clip round the head...I am sure you look lovely... :D
  • LignumVitaeLignumVitae Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Ah Sticky, you've got me giggling out loud! Husbands are never the best at answering things like that. I got excited about my boobs at the start of my pregnancy, I finally had some. Then my bump grew and although my boobs are now at their biggest ever size they look smaller than ever as the bump grows and grows and grows, leaving them looking even less than the bee stings they always were.
    Hey little fighter, things will get brighter
  • NumptydumptyNumptydumpty Posts: 6,416
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hmm, I suppose he was right in a way, people wouldn't be looking at your bosom, they'd be looking at him, wondering how he got that black eye. :o:lol:
  • stickywicketstickywicket Posts: 26,003 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Cleavage, eh? Yup I remember that.

    If I'd been better endowed I could have walloped him with them but, alas, that is not to be - if only because I need him to fasten and unfasten bits of me.

    Karen - it's lovely to see you. I hope Mum is settled and happy.
    “There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken
  • lulululululu Posts: 486
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well I am on Mr. SWs side the poor man knew he was living dangerously there, and he knew that whatever he said would be wrong, so I think he did well :lol: then again I bet he feels that he is a very lucky man to have such a cleaver, charming,funny woman for a wife.
  • stickywicketstickywicket Posts: 26,003 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    lululu wrote:
    I bet he feels that he is a very lucky man to have such a cleaver, charming,funny woman for a wife.

    He ought to, lululu. I keep reminding him :wink:
    “There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken
  • villiervillier Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Awe Sticky that gave me the giggles, you can have some of mine I don't know where I acquired them from I used to have two fried eggs :(
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • lulululululu Posts: 486
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Excellent idea Villier I need comfort food - dippy fried egg on toast Yeh :D
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