New to this....looking for advice....bad day :(

KayMick
KayMick Member Posts: 27
edited 22. Mar 2013, 12:04 in Say Hello Archive
Hi everyone....my name is Kay...I'm 40, married with 6 children, ranging from 20 right down to 2! I have rheumatoid arthritis :( I also suffer really badly with depression & anxiety, sciatica caused by crumbling spine that just won't keep the ruddy discs where they're supposed too! Today I had a home visit from an ATOS doctor & am feeling pretty low about it all:( I applied for DLA in November on the advice of my CPN. She was meant to be with me but I got the letter on Thursday (lots of notice!) & she was on annual leave today. Incidentally neither she or my psychiatrist have been contacted by anyone re my claim, which I find odd! Anyhow the doctor came, but I have been double guessing everything my husband or I said, everything he made me do & I really truly think he will fail me despite everything I suffer from & all the meds I'm on:( by sheer "luck" I had a fall on Friday (due to the ruddy disc popping out again, because I sneezed (mid pee I may add) not good:( so I've been upstairs in bed in agony since, with bruises all down my right side!!! He still made me get up!! Just wondering if anyone has experience of this & if they can tell me roughly what will happen now & how long does it usually take? As you may have guessed I'm not very good at the sleeping malarchy, more so as my head is full of well yesterday's now, events!!

Comments

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,697
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Kay. It's good to meet you. I have RA too but just two children (and two grandchildren). I'm sorry you seem to have a lot going on right now but I see you've managed to keep your sense of humour. Good for you. I presume the 'crumbling spine' is osteoporosis? I don't have that but my Mum did. I'm sorry I can't help with the ATOS thing. There are several people on here who have had assessments though so, if you re-post on the Living With Arthritis forum, some of them are likely to see it and reply. Good luck with it, anyway.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • KayMick
    KayMick Member Posts: 27
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi there thanks for replying:) good to know I'm not alone....can't believe I've only just found this site!!!!! Not that I want anyone else to suffer though:( but plenty do I know!! Yes in regards to my spine:(:( people don't realise how debilitating arthritis can be & assume it's only "old" people that get it!! I've suffered with my back since 1997 & arthritis since 2003 only officially being diagnosed in 2006!! Anyhow after a bad day yesterday I decided that today was going to be a positive day with no worries or negative thoughts:) good karma will come my way soon (I hope)....so yes I'm in pain, yes I'm depressed...but I have a amazing husband, wonderful children & the most supportive friends...how lucky am I???? There is always someone worse off than you:) I wish you well my friend & thank you for sharing you're time with me:) x
  • Bydand1980
    Bydand1980 Member Posts: 35
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Kay

    I'm also new to the forum but I've had arthritis for a long time, diagnosed as a kid, and I've been involved with AC in the past, long before internet forums and FB!!!! I'm sure you will find plenty help and support here.

    I've been relatively lucky with ATOS assessments. Failled every single one but they have usually been very quick with the appeals, a couple of weeks, and I've been placed in Support Group each time. From what I've read on here and in other places, the appeals process can vary quite wildly and I've seen quotes where successful appeals have been from 50% to as high as 90% in some areas with people being upgraded being as high as 70%. If you have support from folk like CAB or AC then you are much more likely to be successful.

    I know that's a bit vague but the DWP and ATOS are deeply flawed organisations and I do think that the Panarama film about the way disabled people are treated is ust the tip of a very very big iceberg. The best advice I can give is just to hold on in there and never give up and let them win. I know it can be difficult to stay motivated but when you have people round about you and who can give you support then that makes all the difference.

    If you haven't already done so, find out where your nearest AC group is and go to see them. Having local people with arthritis you can meet up with is a great way of making coping with it so much easier.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello, it's nice to meet you and I hope you find the forum to be a place for information and support. We are in very similar boats and can empathise with how tough things can be sometimes.

    I am nearly 54, happily married, deliberately childless and have psoriatic arthritis which has led to OA in both ankles, both knees and now my right hip. I haven't yet had to face an ATOS thingy (I am self-employed but working less and less) but may well have to fance a panel when DLA is changed to PIP (this is beginning to be rolled out this coming April). When I applied for DLA they didn't contact anyone, they just took my word, but the situation is very different now and rightly so. Hopefully I'll pass but if not I'll appeal.

    I'm having a rough day and now have to go and so some ironing (life doesn't stop just because the joints are playing up :wink: ) but I'll be back later on. I wish you well. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • KayMick
    KayMick Member Posts: 27
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi thanks for the advice:) think it will prob end up going to appeal as you say...so if I don't expect to get it....it will be bonus if I do:) benefit system is atrocious!!!! My husband & I have never claimed benefits in our lives...we both worked until I had to stop in 2003 because of illness. He took voluntary redundancy in October so he could look after our family & me as I was in a really bad way unfortunately:( have mental health issues & everything just got too much!! He was a high earner paying the top end of tax & now we're reduced to £140 a fortnight job seekers allowance (currently suspended as he missed "signing on" as a interview ran late!!! How very dare he!!!! Despite an appeal in process & proof of the interview etc we're still waiting!! We're not entitled to any other benefits whatsoever...no tax credits as he's actually paid too much this tax year! No income support as he is actively seeking work....no mortgage relief as we are waiting on his insurance that he's paid for years kicking in (it's delayed as they need proof of him receiving job seekers allowance & of course theres none as its suspended!!) it's a nightmare!!!!! The benefit system is meant to be there to help those in need....Well we're in dire need but no help!!! The redundancy is long gone, paying the bills, mortgage & food!! We're behind with everything:( I've applied for DLA as my CPN said I was entitled...but yet again my eyes have been truly opened!!! I've never felt so belittled in my entire life!!! To have someone come into you're home & make you feel like you're at it & claiming for something you shouldn't be was truly awful:( Anyhow...positive, mental, attitude!! Think this forum will be a help to me!!! Can have a moan without it being directed at my poor husband lol x
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,280
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Kay
    And welcome to the forum..
    They dont make life easy do they...I find it disgusting how people that have worked most of there life's are treated like this.
    I do hope to see you posting more very soon...its good to talk has they say..x
    Love
    Barbara
  • KayMick
    KayMick Member Posts: 27
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks Barbara...nice to talk to you:). Thing that gets me is anyone who's a genuine case would never choose to live this way!!! My husband will have to return to work, we've no other choice!! I'm lucky I have good friends & neighbours that will help me out with the school runs etc but I have no other family members other than my husband or children to rely on!! Not to worry...know they're are plenty worse off than me!! I'm lucky my husband is so supportive..we've been together since our teens:) I have beautiful, healthy, amazing children!! Whatever the outcome we'll just have to get by!! But I am determined to appeal if the DLA is not awarded as I know that's the one benefit I am entitled to!!!! X
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Kay

    It's lovely to meet you and to welcome you to our forums

    I am so glad you have found us too :D

    HOW many kids?? only joking how lovely :) Sounds like you ahve a supportive family there :)

    I hope you will decide to stay and look forward to seeing you posting. By the way the ATOS medical - I am horrified by it and think it's disgusting that they made you get up :x

    Please do let us know how you get on

    love

    Toni xxx
  • KayMick
    KayMick Member Posts: 27
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you Toni:) lol I know 6 is madness!!! Don't quite know how that happened lol!!! Im married 22 years....Our eldest are 20(girl) & 16(boy).... Then there's a gap, we have nearly girl 10 in April, girls 7 & 4 in June & our baby boy will be 2 next week!!! Def heard no good stories about ATOS so at least I've not been treated differently from anyone else!!! I don't expect I'll her anytime soon either oooofffttt but I will let u all know:) such a good forum.....wish I had found u all sooner!! Xxx
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I thought I has plenty for these days at 3 and all girls eldest 18 next Saturday and youngest 15 :D

    I think they keep you young and are an excellent distraction :wink:

    Please do let us know how it goes with the application.

    Love

    Toni xxx
  • KayMick
    KayMick Member Posts: 27
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi all.....just update on my DLA application. I cannot believe it but I got it!!!!!! Letter came today!!!!!! High rate mobility & middle rate care:) cannot tell you what a huge difference this will make to us!!!! My husband can now apply for carers allowance now. Such a huge relief & to say I'm shocked is an understatement!!!!! For the first time in such a long time it's good news:)
    Kay xxx