Too tired for pain!

nearlybionic

Hi
Ok I surrender!! Pain please leave me alone now. I am so tired through lack of sleep, and from dragging my reluctant to move legs around. I feel exhausted. I can`t cope with another night of no sleep, trying to find a comfy position for a moment, I could cry! But I`m too tired for the effort of crying.
My major decision is, I feel like this and I have been at home all day, no work, and tomorrow I am supposed to be working, how?? I have taken to using elbow crutches now, as the stick wasn`t steady enough when my useless hip gives way. My manager asked me if I was ok to be there on my last day at work, and I said I would tell her when it gets too much. I don`t really want to give in yet, but don`t think I could drive safely.
I will give sleep another try tonight.......well, nothing else to do!
I hope you are all feeling as well as you can be xx
NB

stickywicket

I'm sorry, NB. It doesn't sound good and it doesn't sound conducive to work. You've shown admirable stoicism and determination for a long time but..... See how it goes tonight. Better, I hope, for your sake but it's hard to see how you can work even if you get a good night's sleep.

bubbadog

I've taken to having 'power naps' in the day to try and cope with my tiredness from not sleeping through night! It does help a little but doesn't make up for the amount of lost sleep. Hope you can get some rest as it doesn't help with pain and health. Take care.

deedeeitsme

So sorry to hear this, lack of sleeps just seems to elevate everything else doesn't it. Have you seen your gp to see if there is anything they can give you to help with this, even if it is just something short term, just to give you a break. Any pain is awful but hip pain is the worst at night I think, I am a hip sufferer too and I really empathise with you, no matter which way I lie the pain is relentless. My rheumy upped my amitriptyline from 20mg a night to 70mg a night and this has eased things a little, I sleep most nights now but I do wake in pain in the morning but this does ease off a little when I'm up and moving. Go to your gp and ask for help hun.

Take care Dee x

kentishlady

Hello NB. Am sorry to hear you are having such a rough time at present and know just what you mean about the tiredness factor. I too usually find I just have to have a 'power nap' at some point during the day to get me through. It's not just the lack of proper sleep at night but I believe that being in constant pain also plays a contributing part as well. Is it possible for you to consider giving up work? It seems to me that you are asking too much of yourself and I am not sure that driving or working are ideal when you are in so much pain.

Do hope you will be feeling a little better soon and hopefully will come to the right decision about working. Take care. Beryl (())

dachshund

Hello Nearlybionic
i'm sorry you are not sleeping its a circle that goes around you cannot sleep because of pain that makes you tired and worn out.
i hope you have a good night tonight.
take care
joan xx

barbara12

Hello NB
Bless I do feel for you, the op must seem so far away when you are in such pain,and not sleeping....I do hope that last night was better for you.
Wish I could help more...but these are for you (((((()))) xx

nearlybionic

Hi
Thankyou everyone for your replies. Last night was no better, even with a bed full of pillows!
I went to work. Cried when I got there as my hip kept giving way when I walked. I told my manager I think today will be my last til after my op, whenever that is?! She said I should do what is best for me. (cue more tears!!) I stayed at work long enough to try to tie up loose ends work wise.
I have asked for my GP to ring me about a sick note. Although i feel like I am giving in, and want to see how I feel on Monday really. I am worried about the financial side of being off work for a long time, especially as Mr NB is self employed and work is quiet for him at present. I have asked for my DLA application which has been turned down twice to be looked at for appeal, although I have no fight in me for it.
So less than an hour since I got in from work I am here in bed. So tired I feel like I have been wrung out. I am off tomorrow anyway, so no early start or driving.
Thanks again xx
NB

lazicat

So sorry NB , lack of sleep is just awful & makes everything worse, such a vicious circle. Have you tried a memory foam mattress or topper ? Ive got a thick topper & it really helped me to sleep, wish I had got it sooner.
Think lack of sleep is worst thing about Arthur, makes everything seem such an uphill struggle.
Hope you get some rest soon & if you cant manage work, dont go, your health is more important, hope your Boss is understanding.
Take Care x

frogmorton

Oh Poor you Nearly

I think you did the right thing about work - bless them for being so kind....you have been very brave.

I hope that you got some sleep yesterday and if not you must see your GP for help. This can't go on

Lots of love and ((()))

Toni xxx

nearlybionic

Hi Toni and Lazicat
I slept a little better last night, only woke twice when I tried to turn over. We have just bought a new bed with a lovely thick firm orthopaedic mattress with memory foam in it. We had a topper on the old bed but it was too hot!
I have spoken to my GP and he has left a sick note to collect on Monday. I have spoken to my manager and told her I won`t be in. She was fine, and just asked if it was ok to keep in touch.
I feel a bit sad that I am not going into work for a while, I will miss the company of my colleagues. I will make sure the hospital know I am available at very short notice when I have my pre op assessment, no point before I guess, although I did say as much when I was put on list initially.
Had some bad news though, I asked my GP to fill in his part of my insurance claim re the family holiday to Florida that we can no longer go on, and he rang to say, although I had not actually consulted anyone about my right hip specifically until after the date i booked the holiday, one of the GP`s has documented that I said my right hip was a bit more painful during a consultation for something else. This happened at a consultation about 10 days before we booked the holiday. So I gues the insurance will wriggle out of paying us back our money. This is so annoying as I was not diagnosed with OA and needing the THR in my right hip until January this year. Even when I had the MUA under GA in October this was to try to reduce pain due to dysplasia, and my surgeon at this point was happy for me to travel in July and had said he would give a anither injection before I go to cover me. (Until the X ray in January revealed how bad my hip is)
So
NB

mummycj

Hi, At the moment I am having so much trouble with sleeps and just getting through the day with the base off walking down the my stairs, i think if your body telling you to stop then stop.. i learnt the hard way and kept pushing and pushing and made my joint alot worse, and took me longer to get better!.. maybe a couple of days if you can just take them off try to relax, the pain is hard to keep off your mind but i think the more you think off the pain the more it hurts try to keep your mind busy but rest your joints! i really hope you feel better soon! Im sure you will be up and running very soon! Take care of yourself and listen to your body! x

barbara12

Hello NB
I am glad to see you got a little more sleep,and good that you can now get some rest...like Toni says you have been so brave going in... has for the insurance....there will always be a way of riddling out...I have just had trouble getting it because of these pain patches....but I have it all down in print that they know about them...they also wanted to know my weight..because of my back...I am thinking what if I put on a few pounds on hol.. :?
You take care (((((()))) xx

kentishlady

Hello NB. Am glad to hear that you have decided to give work a miss for a while and do hope that you won't have to wait too long for your op, and that in the meantime you can, somehow, get the pain level to come down a little bit. I understand what you say about the financial worry you will have but am sure you will cope. You've struggled on with trying to work for so long. The trouble is that the constant pain gets you down so much (well, it does me), that everything other problem, however minor, seems to be major and everything becomes harder to cope with.

Take care and try and keep as occupied as you can without overdoing the strain on your poor hip. Thinking of you. Beryl (())

nearlybionic

Hi Mummycj, Kentishlady and Barbara
Thanks for your replies. It is really good to have your support x
I had a bit of a lightbulb moment yesterday. I have been struggling for weeks now, and had thought the fatigue and increased pain was due to work. But I have been at home just pottering mainly since Thursday and I feel the same! I went out in the car with MrNB driving yesterday, as my daughter and friend went to see 1Direction at the MEN. This was booked 13 months ago and we had said we would do the dropping off and picking up and use the time for a meal out ust the 2 of us. To be honest I wasn`t really up to it, but didn`t want to tell my daughters friends parents and thought it might be a while until we go out as a couple for a while , when I have my op. What a difference I found walking outdoors compared to indoors pottering. I was using a crutch, but still had to stop frequently due to pain and hip giving way. I felt quite vulnerable in the crowds too. We had a meal, with a yummy jug of water to share! (him driving and me on morphine!)
It has reassured me that I have done the right thing and that I would be making myself worse keep pushing on at work. Strange feeling that.
NB

Numptydumpty

Hi NB, I'm really sorry things are so bad for you. You have done the right thing re work.
I hope you get your date for surgery sooner, rather than later.
Take care,
Numpty

mummycj

Your welcome, Rubbish times like this we all go through a lot, instead of doing one by one we can stand together, im glad you taken time off work more stress with the pain you are having will only cause more sleepless night and worry!.. i hope you daughter had a lovely time out!.. I just find trying to keep the mind busy and having something to focus like maybe your op, like to plan a day out once fully recovered to go shopping or a dinner so even though you have this crap time now its going to be better in time but having a goal as well!.. hope that makes sense? .. i do it myself with my son as he is a baby (16 months) i just think well once my injections are done in two weeks time the following week ill take him swimming together or run around the park.. it gives me something to look forward too and something to plan as well!.. i hope it helps and i really hope you make a brilliant recovery! Take care Sarah x

dreamdaisy

Oh dear, NB, this is a horrid challenge for you, isn't it? You are not defined by your work and it's not the be-all and end-all of life but the adjustment is not easy. Although I am self-employed there are times when I have to cancel (I've just had three months off thanks toi the hand op and him being ill) and even times when I have to cancel about an hour before they're due to turn up. This is the demand that my auto-immune arthritis makes on me and I've learned the hard way it only hurts me further if I push on regardless.

Surely you now need to concentrate on YOU and YOUR needs, not those of others. Things will get better - I just wish I could say when. ((())) DD

nearlybionic

Thanks Numpty, Sarah., and DD
I am sure I have made the right decision for my health, well I had to do it as my body was telling me so last week.
This weekend I have been in a bit of a bubble which I expect to burst tomorrow, when I should be at work, and everyone else here will go off to work/school and I will be left here. This is when I need to find things to keep my mind occupied , as I tend to think too much!
I have lost nearly 3 stones in the past months and have had a massive clear out of clothes which are too big now. So I plan to do a bit of sorting for charity shops, and maybe even selling some of the better stuff and make a bit of money to buy new clothes. That`s one thing I can do to keep busy.
I will try not to think too far ahead, as I don`t know what the future holds for me careerwise. One day at a time. (please remind me of this when it all goes belly up!!)
NB

barbara12

Hi lovey
Good for you,and what a brilliant idea to keep yourself occupied....I am so glad you will get some well earned rest...and don't forget you will have more time to chat to us lot now ((((())))xx

nearlybionic

Hi Barbara
Ah thank you xx I do find this forum so helpful, and you especially have been so kind to me.
Take care x
NB