Elna's Mum.

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Comments

  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 8,297
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Elna
    i'm sorry about your lovely mum she will be missed by so many people.
    take care ((((((((elna))))))))
    joan xx
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,266
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Some more gentle hugs for you Elna ((((())))xx
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 27,628
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    elnafinn wrote:
    It was so good that two of her sisters and brother in law came over in October last year and we all had a memorable day when they visited us in our home. Everyone is being very caring and that is of comfort to me.


    Love,
    Elna x


    Now that is some comfort I am sure.

    She was an amazing and strong lady Elna take care

    Love

    Toni xxx
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you Linda. You are right, we did have them there for us, for a long time.

    Thank you Joan, Barbara and Toni. I had an exhausting day Monday travelling to obtain the death certificate and seeing the Funeral Directors.

    Today was phone calls, emails and collecting Lola from school and she was a delight which got me out of my bubble if you know what I mean.

    Tomorrow we travel to register mum's death and pass on the "green form" to the Funeral Directors so that mum can go to be in their care. We shall book the flowers at a local florists too so another busy day.

    The funeral service will not be until 17 May because the Friday before the Funeral Directors were fully booked. So to get everything to tie up we decided on that date.

    Thank you for caring. It does help.

    Love
    Elna x
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,366
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Bless you Elna and bless little Lola for just being a child in all her innocence and offering joy at this very sad time.

    Thinking of you.

    Love and hugs, Linda XXXXXX
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,266
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Elna it no wonder you are shattered...I remember it well and think this is meant to get you through ..but I was fit...so I do feel for you.. little Lola will get you through it all....and we will all be hear for you (((((())))xx
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    My thoughts are still with you Elna. I hope all the arrangements for the funeral are going to plan,

    Elizabeth x
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,266
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Same here Elna I am thinking about you...and sending lots of love xxx
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you Barbara, Linda and Elizabeth,

    I slept until 10.00 am this morning which was good as I am or was shattered. With not sleeping well, being woken in pain/discomfort somewhere or other or my mind over active, I have not ben getting enough sleep with late nights and getting up early because of commitments.

    This weekend I hope to take it easier. I am looking through my mum's address book and call numbers of her friends that I recognise and then have long chats with them. Also calling people who have kindly sent me messages, people who were my mum's friends but whom I knew or had met a few times. These phone calls are often long too. We go again to mum's home on Wednesday where we have a list of things to accomplish whilst there.

    We have the refreshments to sort too for after the funeral service. W--tr-s- have advised us that if we copy out our order after choosing what we require on line, take it into the nearest shop in mum's area and we can then arrange for a more precise delivery time out of the 2 hour usual online grocery time. This will be a great help to us. We will be catering for 90/100 people so there will be quite a quantity of food to deliver along with milk, tea/coffee etc.

    Since mum died the weather has been bright and sunny and this has helped. I like to believe that mum has visited me twice when I have been standing or sitting alone in the quiet. It is hard to describe the feeling/sensation, it was all around me,it felt so tender and very comforting. It did not last long enough though but I felt very calm and upliftred afterwards. One of her sisters wrote that she felt her presence by a gentle stroke on her shoulder and she said she was filled with gratitude. A Finnish friend of hers also told me she felt her presence about 30 cm away from her. For me I felt it a little nearer than that and her reply was that was because you are her daughter.

    Thank you for caring,

    Love
    Elna x
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,266
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Dear Elna...
    I remember when my mum died many moons ago...and like you I was alone...and the chair she always sat in when she came to visit..suddenly looked like the cushion had sunk....I walk over to it and could feel her there...the chair was warm and she just smiled and then went...just after the funeral something similar happened...sorry I am rambling...but I know how comforting it is ...and how very hard it is to lose your mum ...you look after yourself and try and get plenty of rest....(((((()))))xx
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Dear Barbara

    It is good to hear that your dear mum visited you too, I "knew" my mum was there but can never prove it. I am going to take it easier for the next few days.

    You look after yourself,

    Love
    Elna x
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 27,628
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Elna!

    How wonderful that your Mum has visited you :) I agree the weather has been so lovely since she 'went' and it does help a little. The day of my Dad's funeral was a perfect fishing day and we all took comfort from that.

    There is a lot to do, I remember, and it takes time because you have to read things and look at things and shed many tears doing so. The telephone calls aren't easy, but I was glad I had spoken to each of the people, they told me things I didn't know and it 'helped'.

    W*itrose are good Elna and the food will be good - one less worry sorted out - you do not need that on top of everything else.

    Take care and remember we do care.

    Love

    Toni xxx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    My mum died on April 10th and that was a lovely bright day. So was the day of her funeral. I made it as simple as possible, I read some words about her, some giggles were had, we all read the Lord is my Shepherd and the 'afters' after went well.

    I completely understand the shattered, exhausted, drained thing. I spent at least ten days in bed but, although I'm sort of up and about now, everything still remains a huge effort. My whole world shifted on its axis that dreadful morning and it's still pitching and yawing on a regular basis. It's not an easy time, Elna, and my thoughts are very much with you and your family at this diffficult time. DD
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you Toni.

    Thank you DD. Yes, you are a little way along the path we both have to travel now. Mum's funeral is on Friday. All is arranged and family arrive from Denmark and Finland on Thursday. It will be a big turn out and I hope the weather is good to us. I felt exhausted last week but have been able to recharge my batteries a little over the past three days. As you say, DD, it is not an easy time, but we both knew it would not be, didn't we? The really hard part will arrive after the funeral as you are probably finding, when things quieten down but there is still much to do regarding their home and possessions. You are in my thoughts,

    Gentle hugs
    Elna x
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,749
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I shall be thinking of you this week, Elna. I hope everything goes as well as these things can and that you can manage to pace yourself.
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you, Sticky. Just received such a sweet letter from a 96 year old friend of my mums, still living on her own in her home. When looking through mum's address book, I remembered her name from years gone by and we had such a lovely, long telephone conversation. She was so grateful I had called her. As she is not too far away from us, we may well visit and as she would like to keep in touch I most certainly shall do that.

    Gentle hugs
    Elna x
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,266
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Elna I have just been away on my hols..and w3anted to leave you some more hugs(((((()))))xxjust so you know I have been thinking of you
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Dear Elna,


    I'm glad you have managed to recharge your batteries a little this week. I hope all the arrangements for the funeral are now in place and everything is going to plan.
    It is lovely to read that many of your Mother's Finnish and Danish relatives are coming to the funeral to pay their respects. It will be lovely to hear their stories about past times.
    As you say its not an easy time and I wish you well for Friday.

    Take care we will be with you in spirit,

    Elizabethx
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you Barbara, I hope your holiday break went well for you.

    Thank you Elizabeth, I am still receiving cards and phone calls. I do hope the weather bucks up again for Friday - even if it was just dry would be a great help. It will be such an emotional day on Friday with so many people wishing to talk to us, I am sure much of it will be a blur.

    Love
    Elna x

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