The holiday is over :(

LignumVitae

I really can't grumble but I do feel as reluctant as I used to when my school holidays were drawing to a close. I'm going for a steroid jab tomorrow, my rheumy nurse has been wonderful and is rushing me in. I realised on Monday morning that a familiar stiffness had started to creep back in. I tried to ignore it, it's been a lovely ten month gap despite the struggle of carrying and caring for twins but it seems that arthritis has missed me as much as I haven't missed it. By today things were definitely not great and I could pretend no more/ blame running around after the girls no more. I'm going to try a steroid so I can keep feeding them a bit longer but everyday is a bonus. I set myself the challenge of feeding the girls colostrum and anything beyond that was a bonus. They're now three and a half weeks old, if I can do another few weeks I will have achieved lots - I'm already feeding past where a lot of twin mums manage to get to apparently.

Over the last ten months I have been lucky enough to marvel at the amazing things my body can manage. I think most people feel that way about carrying babies but more so when you have arthritis. Every time I feel a bit sad about the fact the arthritis is back, I remember how damn lucky and amazing things have been, how blessed I am to have two gorgeous babies, to have got to this point...I just wish arthritis could have stayed away!!

I had to put this here, thank you if you've read this far. I'm not sure people around me understand, or can see passed my practical acceptance that this inevitable moment has arrived but I'm a bit gutted it has and already!!

I'm really sorry I'm not replying on other posts too, I'm reading them and thinking of you all but these babies don't seem to like me taking time to talk to anybody else!!

mig

Hi LV,What an amazing lady you are your babies are lucky to have you,I truly hope the steroids work for you so you can continue to feed the girls a little bit longer.(((()))) Mig x

villier

Awe LV don't you beat yourself up about this, you have now got to think of yourself, you have given those two precious bundles the best start in life that they can get, I am so sorry that you are not going to get relief for much longer, your wee girls will survive on the abundance of love they will receive from two doteing parents. Don't you annoy yourself about answering posts everyone understands you have more than your hands full and we are here whenever you need us..........tc..........Marie xx

Numptydumpty

LV, you truly are amazing. You have done, and are doing brilliantly!
I'm sorry your old adversary Arthritis, is showing its ugly head again. It won't be easy with two babies, but if anyone can battle through, it's you.
Wishing you well,
Numpty

lizzieuk1

Hi lv,
Try not to stress too much about the feeding, I know how hard it is was exactly the same for me about 4 weeks post partum, my ra flared and by 5 weeks he was on formula and I was back on mtx. Was v sad at the time but on the positive meant other people could help with feeds and I could go to bed early and let oh do a late feed so I got 5 hours sleep! He's 2 now and honestly can say being formula fed hasn't harmed him or our relationship , won't be long and you'll have forgotten all about it- you'll be in the terrible 2s before u know it!
Being well yourself is absolutely the best thing u can do for u and ur babies, fingers crossed the steroid will help and u can do a few more weeks , mind prob best to try and slowly cut down bf so ur ok when u have to stop, I remember those days waking up with serious boob pain and had to express and throw it down the sink

Chin up ur doing a fab job.xx

constable

Don't you go beating yourself up over bf. You can only do your best. And that is what you have been doing from day one. I am sorry that the arthritis has come back to you, it's not fair is it. I do hope this steroid injection does help you. But just remember how well you are doing and how proud you should be of yourself. Sending you some hugs of comfort. ((()))

barbara12

Hello LV
I agree with Karen don't beat yourself up...you have done brilliant...feeding your twins ....and all the extra work that comes with having a baby never mind two...and don't apologise for not posting on other threads you have enough on...and we understand..we are always here for you to talk too..like you say we understand some of what you are going through....only I started late with arthritis...so I really do admire you ..I will have everything crossed that the pain and stiffness doesn't go any worse ..and the injection helps you ....((((())))xx

stickywicket

Oh LV, I do remember the end of the ‘school hols’ and I do empathise. I’d only one baby, in those days even steroids were a nono and, although I tried to carry on by all three of us staying with my Mum & Dad for a while, it soon became obvious that this was the end of the ride. However, like you, I reasoned that he’d had a good start and I did it all again with the next one though he, poor lad, really did only get the colostrum.

This is an odd time for you – being happy, and justifiably proud, to have got this far and being sad that it must end. However, life has changed for good now and there’ll be lots of new and lovely – and a few unlovely :roll: – surprises round the corner.

I agree with all that the others have said. You’ve done brilliantly and will continue to do so. And don’t you dare try to reply to any other posts just yet. In another 18 years or so you’ll have a bit more time on your hands

frogmella

LV! You have done so well. I know you feel bad but you really shouldn't feel guilty. Those two babies are so lucky to have you. As someone else said it will give you chance to let somebody else look after them so you can have a rest or go somewhere without them. My friend couldn't breastfeed because of the meds she was taking for anti natal anxiety so I often babysat while she nipped to the shops because I could feed the baby for her! I am sure that nearly all my babysitting visits were timed so that I had that task to do to keep me busy!
Feel proud of yourself.

dibdab

LV you have done amazing things, and I know that you will go on doing exactly the right thing for you and your girls. They need you to be as fit as you can to care for them, and love makes up for all sorts.
When I had my twins 27 years ago I only managed to breast feed them for 10 days before my back went into spasm and I ended up immobile in bed for 3 weeks- after effects of the epidural they said. On the plus side it meant my husband could feel more involved in the caring and build up his bonds with them too (I hadn't developed the dreaded RA way back then thankfully).
Raising twins is tough, but amazing and a real privilege, I'm sitting here smiling at the thought of all the wonderful times we had when they were small, and still as adults I am so blessed to have them and have a fantastic relationship with them-it makes up for all the rough patches when weariness threatened to overwhelm! :?
Let folks help you as when they can, they will be blessed by your generosity and your girls will benefit from so much love and care and attention.
Sending you lots of positive thoughts, hope the steroid jab helps.

Deb xx