need to vent¡!!!!!!

lizzieuk1 Member Posts: 302
edited 28. Apr 2013, 04:58 in Living with Arthritis archive
I know this will sound selfish but I need to vent as am frustrated!
So ra flaring and have been depressed recently, bit better now though,
So my mother is in a flap about it all and this is not helping me, she insists on asking anyone and everyone she knows with arthritis to tell her how well they r and how well meds work etc etc then sends me their emails saying how wonderful they are feeling on drug x,y,z, I know that I will find something to help me but right now I don't need her flapping about trying to tell me that x is a wonder drug because such and such is on it and running marathons! Frankly I couldn't run a marathon before the ra so how she think I could do one now with or without drugs I have no idea, I'd be happy to be able to walk let alone run at all at the moment!! Its just depressing me more but I haven't the heart to tell her that as I know she's trying to help.
Why she cant just realise I need her to be calm and stop stressing me out by asking well u will get better and be able to do xyz won't you?! Every 5 minutes! I keep telling her that I hope so but there is no way to tell how long before so I need to plan for the worst case so I can look after myself and my family, its been a long 2 years so I'm not getting my hopes up too much regards the biologics.

Vent over, thanks for listening!!


  • wynnie
    wynnie Member Posts: 117
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    maybe you are needing to take her with you to see a consultant and definately get her a load of leaflets so she can read all about it ,she is maybe scared for you ,my mothers the other way around she treats me like an invalid and it does my nut in ,im trying to put on this im alright face to the outside world and my elderly mother comes over to help me take my jacket off which draws attention ,ive to bite my tounge ,so i know what your going through ,im sure if she reads leaflets and in depth things she might back off ,i could also say my hubby is a driver and listens a lot to talk radio ,god knows how many times he comes in and say thats them got a cure for arthritis ,i say what kind of arthritis ,he says the kind you have ,i say whats that then and he doesnt know ,but every day theres a cure to look forward too lol , its good to vent and this is the place to do it ,hope things sort themselves out at your end soon ......
  • DebbieT
    DebbieT Member Posts: 1,033
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sorry ure Mum is being so overbearing Lizzie!! :(

    My Mum doesn't 'allow' me to even talk about my illnesses. She has OA in her hands & knees which isn't uncommon at 65 yrs old. She can keep going even tho hard at times & she has to crawl up the stairs .. Well I was diagnosed at 37 with OA & PsA as well as severe plaque psoriasis & Fibromyalgia. She thinks it's disgusting that at 42 I need crutches, tramadol SR & normal tramadol, ibuprofen, paracetamol, BuTrans patches & methotrexate!! God I get some stick for daring to have injections so I can try & move my neck. She's unbelievable & I just say 'I'm fine' now coz I really can't be bothered being made to feel guilty for illnesses I never asked for & certainly don't want!!!

    Mums are a weird species :( I really do feel for you. Perhaps getting some info on RA & the general prognosis may help her. She does sound genuinely concerned but she won't stop trying to help if you don't tell her how much it upsets you!! Try & have an honest chat with her, I'm sure she'll understand. Good luck.x
    Healing Hugs
  • lizzieuk1
    lizzieuk1 Member Posts: 302
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks guys, I will def get some leaflets for her, I have spent a while trying to explain things in the past (been 9 years since I was diagnosed) but not sure she's taking it in so at least leaflets she can go back to.
    I guess its because I was so well after going on mtx she's finding it hard to understand why its not working now and I had several years not moaning!
    Will leave things for a bit as can't face the stress at the mo but will try the leaflets as an easy route!