Stairs

stickywicket

Tricky things. Yesterday we visited our friends with the most difficult ones and only an upstairs loo. Most tricky, for me, means steep, walls on either side for most of the way (so no rails to grab hold of) and a tiny banister that is of no use to man nor arthritic female beast.

My usual tactic is to have Mr SW above me, gripping my right wrist with one hand and the mini-rail with the other. He can get a better, tighter grip on my wrist than he could on my hand but it’s quite scary for me as I have nothing whatsoever that I can hold on to with either hand and it becomes, progressively, a long way down if either of his hands slips. I usually make the journey before the second glass of wine.

Yesterday was different. Firstly, they had installed a new carpet which made each step slightly higher. Secondly, I’d forgotten to put on my old shoes with the thinner soles (every fraction counts). Thirdly, purely out of the kindness of my heart , I’d helped them to celebrate their daughter’s new job by swilling a second glass of champagne.

It was hopeless. By the time our hosts emerged from the kitchen to see what all the hilarity on the stairs was about, we had decided that the only viable method was for Mr SW to plonk me down on the second step then, while I shoved with my good (revised knee) leg, he lifted. As our hostess arrived at the foot of the stairs he paused to explain "She's p*ss*d" which set us both off again.

There were further pauses on each step as Mr SW found himself unable to lift and laugh simultaneously. Our friend couldn’t resist joining in by, wholly unnecessarily, lifting my other leg which I was perfectly capable of dragging. (Maybe she was worried about the new carpet.) So, we inched our Carry-On-Arthritic way to the summit.

Coming down was, as usual, relatively easy. Downwards I can hold his hand and gravity assists.

I had just one glass of wine with the meal. I didn’t fancy climbing two mountains in one day. Mr SW's back is in recovery.

dreamdaisy

As usual you are able to find the humour (it's always there but some are apparently unable to see it). If we go to our neighbours over the road for a meal I have to pop back home for a widdle because their stairs are worse than ours (they have one loo upstairs). Our ground floor bathroom is a boon during the day and an utter pain (literally) at night but all our other friends have the luxury of a loo on every floor. I dream of that.

I hope that Mr SW's back improves and that you don't get too plastered tonight. DD

PS Back in my pre-arthritic days I moved into a rented house, complete with a 1930's bathroom: an overhead flush, an ornate basin and a narrow but deep bath. One Saturday night (whilst being somewhat 'refreshed) I finished, flushed and fell in the bath. I couldn't get out and had to yell for 'im indoors - he in turned yelled for Nigel for extra manpower. :roll: Even to this day when we go to Nigel's for dinner I find a cushion in at least one bath.

mig

As DD says you always find the humour in things that would defeat most of us,thankfully I don't have problems going up and down stairs ,it's surprising what we take for granted though.Keep laughing Sticky .(((()))). Mig

barbara12

SW you are hilarious.. sorry....but boy did I need that laugh....at least you can always see the funny side of things... has for your host I am sure they will be asking you back very soon...who wouldn't....

applerose

Sticky, that was funny. It's great to be able to laugh at yourself in that way, isn't it? You certainly have a way with telling stories.

DD, your tale made me giggle too.

stickywicket

dreamdaisy wrote:

I finished, flushed and fell in the bath.

And then the pot advises the kettle not to

dreamdaisy wrote:

get too plastered tonight.

I have no idea how one copes with arthritis, let alone life itself, without a sense of humour. Most things have their funny side. I mightn't have seen this particular funny side, though, if I'd left the journey while the last minute

Unsure, I'm just grateful that I'm of a generation that couldn't automatically reach for a video camera. My whole life would be on YouTube

constable

Thank you for cheering my morning up reading yours and hubbies giggles from last night. It is so good to make a joke out of it.

I have those really steep stairs, but we do have a rail on one side. But I always find I am best on all fours going up. As you said coming down not to bad. Mark you, I always feel sorry for someone coming up behind me.

bubbadog

As you know myself and stairs have a stormy relationship! The other thing I have mentioned is I suffer from vertigo! So going upstairs is hard enough!! The funny thing is stairs where brought up in conversation yesterday while visiting the OH's Aunt & Uncle's house. They asked how I was after my tumble and saw the swelling in my left leg through my leggings I was wearing and my foot! They asked how I was with getting up and down stairs since the fall and I said it was getting harder. They mentioned about stair lifts which my OH piped up and said if it gets to a point that Amanda can't manage the stairs we will have to sell the house and get a bungalow. I was shocked, I never agreed to selling the house or moving to a bungalow when I couldn't manage the stairs anymore. I was so shocked I couldn't even speak!! I love the house we are in now and never want to leave it, I feel at peace here for the 1st time since I was a little girl of 5yrs old in the family home of Church hill. So I know the bitter relationship we can have with stairs SW! :roll:

Numptydumpty

Oh Sticky, I bet there's never a dull moment when you're around.

hileena111

Oh That made me laugh Sticky
It wouldnt work with my THR but previous to that when I smashed my ankle and had {still have} pins, plates and screws in it...I was told no weight bearing for 6 weeks. I have a downstairs loo but my bedroom is upstairs.
The physios wouldn't let me out of hospital until I could do the stairs to their satisfaction.
Hold on to bannister with one hand, underarm crutch on other side, and hop up stairs......I had Arthur in both hips and lower back :shock: and at my age!!!!! but I thought I WILL DO IT I WILL DO IT!!!! and get out of here. Got home and
I spent the next 6 weeks going up and downstairs on my bum with the bad leg stuck out in front of me.....I think it was safer. I had the vague hope that it might tighten my muscles but no :roll:
Never mind ....you take care sticky
Love
Hileena

Catie

Hello Sticky, your story made me laugh too . I hope Mr SW is recovering well .