no one seems to understand it

xxmegan12xx

currently so annoyed so had to post on here I get so frustrated explaining to people why I can't fit in like everybody else. I have had JIA for 3 years now and only ever come across one person who has understood and accepted what it means etc. (this person being someone who doesn't have it themselves) most of the time I choose not to say anything and what's just happened proves why. My best friend knows I have it cos after all I am going to tell her but she has literally just had a full blown argument with me over work, I can't manage to cope with a part time job on top of college three days a week and voluntary at a nursery two days I am absolutely knackered after it and feel like rubbish, this so called friend though has just been winging about the part time job she does have so to try and make her feel better I tried to make light of it saying things such as ''aww its not too bad, Friday tomorrow then its the weekend'' her response was ''you try living my life try being at nursery all day and then working four hours at night then you will know how it feels and know how shattered I am and that I don't want to go to college maybe you should have job and then you can talk to me about working'' I just don't even know how I am supposed to respond to things like I can't even tell her these days that I feel tired because she tells me I don't know the meaning of it.

dreamdaisy

Your friend has every right to say those things because that is life as SHE knows it and she needs to moan to someone - unluckily she chose you who has a far greater insight into life than she. My friends moan from time to time about being tired. I know that they are damned lucky that they can work full-time, socialise in the week and go for ten-mile hikes at the week-end but, as they have not experienced anything different to that, of course they compalin that their legs ache, that they feel tired. They also ask me when I am going to get better. :roll: Bless 'em.

Have you ever read The Spoon Theory or There's a Gorilla in my House? Both give very clear explanations of what we have to deal with on a daily basis and that may a good way of 'teaching' your friend about the struggles you are facing. DD

maria09

Hi Megan
We all know exactly what you mean as we have all been through the same at one point in our lives.
I've not even reached 50 and I've had to retire due to my condition all my so called work mates say how lucky I am as I don't have to work! Well it's not through choice I'd rather be working earning a full time wage but I'm not physically able to that soon shuts them up!
My daughter has just been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis which I'm afraid has come from my side of the family,she like you gets really tired and can't always go out with her uni friends but they seem understanding at present but I know how frustrated and upset she gets when she can't do what her friends do due to fatigue and side effects of her meds.
I don't think your friend meant what she said and maybe you need to explain to her what you have to endure in your day to day life it might make her realise what she is saying is hurting you
Keep strong
Maria