Pain-free

stickywicket
stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
edited 22. May 2013, 06:31 in Living with Arthritis archive
It’s a word that annoys me. It’s not that I’m envious of those who are pain-free. I’ve lived with pain for so many years now I’d feel (very pleasantly) odd without it. (As opposed to looking very odd with it :wink: ) But, out in the non-arthritic world, people hardly ever use the word. They tend to take it for granted, just as they take for granted being cancer-free and MS-free and stroke-free. Even minor blemishes and large noses require surgical removal now. (Well, not the entire nose :lol: )

I dislike the term ‘pain-free’ as applied to arthritis because, to me, it indicates a wholly unrealistic and maybe even unreasonable expectation; hopes that will inevitably be dashed; a future life that will probably be spent dealing with ever-increasing doses of narcotics plus the side-effects that will, almost inevitably, ensue. (I have the stomach legacy of years of anti-inflammatories.)

I know that, for some people who have just one joint, or maybe two, affected by OA ‘pain-free’ is a realistic possibility. But, surely, for anyone with an auto-immune arthritis, or multiple joints affected by OA, ‘pain-free’ is just a dangerous pipedream?
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright

Comments

  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi SW
    I do dream of being pain free....but year by year another joint joints joins in...must say I do pipe dream it keeps me going.. :) like you say the pain becomes part of you....so has swearing.... :o:lol:
    Love
    Barbara
  • chookgate
    chookgate Member Posts: 146
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I was nearly there! But when I stopped taking the pain killers for my knees (with recovered TKR's) I discovered that I have shoulder and elbow pain! :D c'est la vie!
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    'Despair? I can handle that but I can't handle hope.' To be pain-free is a reality I accept I will never realise and thank heavens I have now forgotten what it was like. It had been my constant companion since April 1997, in ever-increasing quantity and ever-deepening hurt but no matter. Lovely lives have always been for others, not me. I could be pain-free (I find general anaesthetic to be the best method :wink: ) but then that leaves me unable to function. I prefer to be mentally alert (well, as alert as possible) rather than drugged to such an extent that I cannot put one foot in front of the other - mind you I can't do that too well even when alert. :roll:

    I agree with your second and third paragraphs, I think you have hit the arthritic nail on its head. Ouch. :wink: DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I never "dream" about being pain-free, even if they could repair my arthritic hand joints and took the pain from them, the damage that has been done to my nerve roots that can't regenerate means I will never be "pain-free" like everyone else, as you say Sticky it becomes a part of you and as Barbara says so does swearing!!! :lol: xx
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It's also very subjective. One man's agony is another's little twinge. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I don't even think about being pain free anymore. It is part of parcel of life now. In fact if I wasn't in pain, I would wonder what was wrong! :lol:

    Just started a pain management course today, run by the local pain clinic. Will be interesting to see if it helps at all.
  • constable
    constable Member Posts: 2,115
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am still at the stage that I find it hard to accept I have pain all the time now. As my hubby says, I am still at the beginning of my journey as I was only diagnosed 2 and a half years ago. Since having the THR things seem to have really picked up and spread wide. I still find that when in bad pain I cannot switch my mind of that.
    Karen xx
  • mariet1
    mariet1 Member Posts: 4
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have just joined this forum and am so happy to know I'm not the only one who feels like this :D . I have had OA for 23 years and I'm only 51 now. I have tried everything I can think of trying to reach the unreachable goal of 'pain free'. Spent a fortune I couldn't afford and have now come to the conclusion it ain't gonna happen!
    I did the pain management clinic last year and it was good but no amount of diversion techniques is going to work when it REALLY HURTS!!
    I too can't take all the medication I'm prescribed as I'm still working and wouldn't be able to drive if I increased the Tramadol.
    Let's live in hope though - who knows anything can happen if we wait long enough.

    m
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,882
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am happy with pain 'in the back ground' and for the most part that's where I shove it :wink: m I did that course 2 years ago now and it was really good, but there are times....ehen nothing really helps :shock:

    DD I totally agree with you it is subjective too. We probably all have friends who can hardly cope with something we think of as minor. :roll:

    Take care everyone

    Love

    Toni xx
  • scattered
    scattered Member Posts: 326
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I hear you sticky. Like everyone else, I gave up on 'pain free' a long time ago. The only time I've been 'pain free' was having had a colonoscopy when they gave me a healthy dose of a sedative and pethadine. The sedative didn't do much, but, for one glorious hour, the pethadine meant I could almost forget I had RA. Sadly all good things must come to an end...

    On a serious note, 'pain free' is an ideal, and, like many ideals, not necessarily achievable in the real world. I'd settle for relatively under control and as little joint damage as possible. I don't like being drugged up and I'm the first to admit that I'll get by on the bare minimum of pain relief if I can. For me, a bit like DD, it's like a balance: lucidity and the bare minimum, or zonked out and removed from the pain (strong pain relief doesn't remove the pain, it removes me from the pain. I still know it's their, I just feel like I'm experiencing it at a distance - I'm sure you'll all know what I mean!). I choose the former, because I'm a control freak, I need to be sharp and I work. I work with vulnerable people and I can't afford to not be with it.

    I admit, some days I feel very bitter and resentful towards people for whom 'pain free' is a normal part of their lives. I feel angry that they can take paracetamol for a head ache, or rub in deep heat for a muscle pain, and it goes away. I'm not always very empathetic! It frustrates me that people without chronic disease in their lives think that 'pain free' is an achievable goal that we should all be working towards, and I find it heartbreaking to have to tell someone new to inflammatory arthritis that they will probably have some degree of pain for the rest of their life, regardless of treatment.

    Incidentally, I've just got hold of an Arthritis Research UK booklet on managing pain. It's a hefty ring bound thing, with lots of practical tips and exercises, plus personal notes pages. I've just started using it and it's proving food for thought. It's called 'Living with long-term pain: a guide to self-management'.

    While 'pain free' might be an illusion, it's one I'd dearly love to believe in. Unfortunately, I'm too much of a realist!
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I love your second paragraph, scattered.

    I don't even think of 'pain-free' and haven't for many years. I guess it's hard for newbies to contemplate a life that's never free of it but I believe it's much more helpful and useful to learn to live with it than to be waging a perennial, exhausting, all-consuming battle with it.

    As far as I'm concerned I have arthritis and therefore I have pain. Now let's see what I can do in life, not what I can't. That will keep changing but change can be good as well as bad.

    Barbara - swearing? You? :shock: :lol: As my old schoolfriend's Dad would say "Well, beggur me, Joe Reilly." (His name wasn't Joe Reilly which did puzzle me :? )
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Catie
    Catie Member Posts: 362
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have accepted the fact that pain will always be a part of my life, but take consolation in the fact that some days will be better than others :). My father was killed in a car crash whilst a young man and that has had a big impact on how I view life. Needless to say, I try to live each day as if it were my last - not always easy as you will know :)
  • lizzieuk1
    lizzieuk1 Member Posts: 302
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    I could be pain-free (I find general anaesthetic to be the best method :wink: ) but then that leaves me unable to function. DD

    Ha last time I had a ga - unpleasant as for a d&c, but I woke up feeling amazing so well rested, made me realise how much my ra affects my sleep. Oh for the days when I woke up like that, can't remember them really but still wish for them. :(
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I've surfaced from GA still in pain (and usually with more thanks to surgery) but whilst under . . . . . . bliss. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 9,137
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello all
    my pain is across from one hip to the other so my legs ache all the time and they feel worn out i think i could be a lot worse.
    if we were pain free how would the doctors and chemist keep going with out us.
    i want to thank everyone for their help and advice on this forum i would be lost with out it.
    thank you take care
    joan xx
    take care
    joan xx
  • Kittkat
    Kittkat Member Posts: 309
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    depressing and also wrong very wrong there are people living pain free . So I think you are wrong actually. How horrible for people new to the disease as well. Worse than the pain actually.

    Edited by Moderator
    How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You are perfectly entitled to your opinion, kittkat, and it's only natural that we don't all agree about everything. I see my own view as realistic. I'm not at all depressed but I do worry when I become aware of people seeking a pain-free existence. Prospects for the newly-diagnosed are infinitely better now than they were when I first got RA. I've had a good life and I see no reason why they shouldn't. I just don't think it will be pain-free.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Kittkat
    Kittkat Member Posts: 309
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    That's correct it is an opinion that may be relevant to you and others on this website, but some people do live a pain free life or relatively pain free life with arthritis at least for some time. They just don't post often. So saying that people seeking a pain free life who have auto-immune arthritis are probably just dreaming is not fair to people who are new.
    It is a shame more people who have success don't come forward, I know there out there I've read it and spoken to them.
    I know there are some good people on this board but it seems overwhelmed with too much incorrect information and opinions which can be very upsetting. I suppose my point is that I truly believe seeking a pain free or relatively pain life is not a dangerous pipe dream for some at all.
    How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
  • lizzieuk1
    lizzieuk1 Member Posts: 302
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi kittkat,
    Obv I'm having a bad time at the moment hope the anti tnf will sort that v soon.
    But the point I wanted to make was for those who have had arthritiis for many years there is prob a lot of joint damage since the meds just weren't about to stop it, however for us 'newbies' (I'm 9 years on with ra!) we have a much better chance of being pain free at least for large periods of time, I had 7 excellent years on meth and did almost everything I did before ra, I did get the odd twinges but prob no more than a non ra sufferer.
    So there's a perfect example of how we can be pain free I also know quite a few others who are and as u say they aren't on the forums as they're too busy running marathons- no joke I know someone who regularly does! Its always good to have some positivity otherwise we'll all end up in a depressed heap, but I guess to take one day at a time or u can get worked up about why ur not feeling well.

    You're right to flag this up and am sure sticky meant no offence, remember the forums here to vent your frustrations, modern medicine has made huge progress and am sure theres more to come.
    For us younguns we need some hope there's many years to live and I for one won't give up hope of being pain free- I've been there and am determined to get there again!
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I had a pain-free life from birth to age 37. It seemed utterly outrageous when my first joint started, with the pain never going away, now I'm up to 39 because I have arthritis of both sorts. To me it kinda goes with the territory. I have never been pain-free on the meds, not once but I know that others have been (and are). DD misses yet another boat. :wink:

    Maybe the forum can come across as being a little negative at times but that could be because those of us who post regularly are denied the chance to be out there living life. (I've had two days of steady activity and I'm done for the rest of the week, some life :roll: ) For those who are relatively untroubled that's great I(and it must be lovely) but perhaps they could also take the time and trouble to support the newer ones who are rightly and understandably scared by the future. For those who are new to arthritis it is frightening and worrying to be in constant pain, even if it's only one joint. We know that, understand that and try to support people through it. A little help from those who are coping better wouldn't go amiss. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • HARPER04
    HARPER04 Member Posts: 34
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    This seems to be a very emotive subject with people dealing with Arthritic pain in various ways some using a mental approach others a more hands on approach ie Pain killers or mind bombing as I call it
    I try to use a bit of both staying positive is a must but keeping that frame of mind is difficult when breakthrough pain occurs that's when the pain killers are a must I have to take Oxycontin / Oxycondone everyday and with out it life would be pretty much unbearable and when the breakthrough pain is prolonged for me it usually gets the better of me and I slip into depression which I find very difficult to shake off but with the help of Mirtazapine I am getting better
    I think at the end of the day we all have to face up to the fact how ever difficult it may be with Arthritis comes pain
    But with the aid of the like s of this forum and the people who offer help advice and friendship we can continue to cope in the battle against Arthritis

    Best wishes to you all