Please cheer me up... :(

gemmarh100

Hi everyone....just looking for some words of encouragement/support... I have been diagnosed with RA and my dad had DDD (degenerative disc disease) since he was 24....he also just found out he had ostero-arthritis and osteoperosis!!! He is only 50!!! I really feel like the odds are stacked against me. I'm in pain everyday and so tired, it's hard to see a way forward...

I just feel like no-one understands me, the pain I feel and the emotions I go through...I know a lot of you have been or are in the same position...Please post support/help if you can.... xxx

Stigger

Hi
I'm so sorry you feel so down. I do understand. I don't have RA but OA in my left leg, my right leg was amputated a few years ago, so I understand the pain.
The OA is awful, some days not so bad, some horrible and I have really sharp phantom pains from the amputated leg. Which is weird.
My mum has OA and my dad RA, so I suppose I was bound to get something, luck of the draw.
Good luck, we're all here if you want a chat.

elnafinn

Hi gemmarh

It is easy to let the imagination run riot when listing parents ailments and thinking that you will develop them too. It is not necessarily automatic. You can do something to try to prevent OP by strengthening your bones, making sure that you get enough calcium daily and also vitamin D. You can buy Calcium and Vitamin D tablets. Or find out what foods are high in calcium and D although sunlight is the best source for the latter. I have recently been diagnosed with OP so have become interested in what foods are beneficial to me. Luckily I love sardines, figs and edam cheese. Try to do walking daily too. I appreciate that your feet are somewhat painful, but do what you can. Standing is also good as that is weight bearing. I have a pedometer and I must admit that it is difficult to get to the 10,000 recommended steps per day and I am most proud when I achieve this!

You say you feel like no one understand you. Do you talk about it all to others or keep it bottled up?

I hope you cheer up soon, a positive or fairly positive atitude does help but I appreciate that is difficult at times.

Elna x

woodbon

Hello,
I agree with everything Elna said and she's said it much better than I could. Keeping as fit and strong as possible with correct exercises with a physio, or trained person to give advice will help your body and make you feel more in control. Also Cognative Behaviour Therepy helps with pain and your GP may be able to help. The person who helps me most is my GP, who is very understanding. So if you have a good relationship with them or can build one, its very helpful.
I'm sorry you feel so down at the present, but I hope you will soon feel more positive. Lots of Good Wishes and hope you feel brighter soon.
Love Suexx

gemmarh100

I know that it does not mean that I will get any of these conditions, just because my dad has....but there is always a higher risk with hereditary, and having RA....i'm sue it all links in somehow...

I do try to talk to people, but people that don't have RA don't understand the pain/sensations you get. They don't understand that sometimes, every little movement feels like your running a marathon. I haven't been diagnosed for long, but think I'm having a flare...feel exhausted all of the time...

I am also starting to question if I can continue my job, which I love so much, but working with children is utterly exhausting... xxx

maria09

Hi
It is difficult when in constant pain and fatigue sets it is so draining
All of us on here do know how you feel as the saying goes been there done that and got the t shirt and can relate to all your aches and pains and do not take it lightly
It's ok discussing it with friends colleagues and family but they do not understand the concept of pain and how bad it gets and how it makes you feel
My hubby still doesn't understand fully even though I've had Arthur for over 10 years as he is never ill and never in pain lucky fella
This site is great for advice support and sympathy when needed I know I wouldn't have got through the toughest times in my life
I hope you start to feel better soon
Maia

stickywicket

RA doesn’t just affect joints. Part and parcel of the disease is the tiredness and I know that, if I get too tired, straight thinking goes out of the window. You are doing well in keeping working, Gemma, and I’m sure being with the children will lift your spirits. But it is tiring work even for those without RA and only you can decide whether to carry on with it or to try for something a bit less demanding of energy.

Your work colleagues probably won’t understand, or care much, about your tiredness as they’ll all have their own problems to deal with. You do need someone to share it with though. One good friend is worth a dozen ‘good time mates’. Plus you have us. And the helplines.

I think worrying about possible futures helps no-one and only saps the strength thus ensuring we don’t enjoy the present. My mother had osteoporosis but I don’t assume I’ll get it. I just try to ensure I get all the exercise I can and eat wisely. You’ve got some good advice from Elna and Woodbon about that.

Maybe it would help to chat things over with an understanding GP.

dachshund

Hello Gemmarh
try to stay has happy as you can thinking about the things
you can and like to do.
i have c palsy oa and ostoporosis when i was young i used to run everywhere and ride my horse and falling off it as well as walking my dog i think that is how i have my problems now
my body aches and i cannot stand so through the day i sit and put my legs up. i have been going to the hydrotherapy pool for
17 years i also like doing jigsaws on the computer this forum is so good and the people on her become your friends and they know what they are talking about because they have it as well.
take care
joan xx

barbara12

Hello gemmarh
The others have given you some good advice, I just want to add my support and say that talking to us will help a great deal, and I really do wish you well with the future...((((())))xx

Starburst

Hi Gemma,

Sorry to hear you're feeling so overwhelmed. I was nodding along when you talked about feeling like a running a marathon. I'm also your age (I'm 25) and although my friends are empathetic, I don't really feel they understand. When I'm having one of those "nobody understands me" moments, I find this forum a great lifeline and I don't know if you've ever called the arthritis care helpline or the NRAS helpline but both have wonderful people to talk to and they will just listen to you.

I used to work with children and it is exhausting even if you are fit and healthy! What's your manager like? Are they understanding and do they make accommodations for you? I know pacing yourself is hard in a job like that but hopefully you get some time to relax at home..? One thing that helped me was being referred for pain and fatigue management. Most hospitals have a pain/fatigue clinic. It made a lot of difference to me and I recommend it to anyone who is struggling and let's face it, it's not an easy condition to cope with, especially when you're young and worried about the future.

We are all here for you and we know it's a tough road at times but you are not alone. Our ears are open and my PM box is open if you ever want to have a chat or a vent. I am happy to listen.

Be kind to yourself.
Sophie x

stickywicket

How are you feeling today, Gemma? A little better, I hope.

Kirsty88

Hi Gemma,
Hope your ok, like plenty of others I know how u feel, I was diagnosed with JIA when I was 14 I'm now 25 and struggle daily physically and mentally. I have the same fears regarding my mum as she suffers with lupus and raynards disease so I constantly query if its something I will develop later on i feel better tho my mum pretty much goes through the same in fact its brought us closer together im always joking why u give all these illnesses to me and not my brother whos fit as a fiddle, its a long running joke but I have discovered u have to live for now, we have enough to deal with in today without thinking about what if. And working wise i have been exactly the same, I wanted to perform I did a summer working in Majorca as a hotel entertainer and running kids club and that took serious toll on me then I went into catering for years and that didnt work out either so on and off been on sick I then found my current job in a bookies, it's ideal I can sit down when I want walk around when I want granted its very stressful but I can live with that. It took me a long time to give in to getting a sit down job and was only because of my mum as she goes through the same.

I have found comfort in this site reading stories of others so you have come to the right place...... Now everyone has there off days I mean probably 5 out of 7 for me where I think why me? But then u have to think to ur self it could be so much worse

I hope my ramblings make sense and good luck
Kirsty x