coming to terms with disability

helenk
helenk Member Posts: 10
edited 7. Jun 2013, 08:58 in Living with Arthritis archive
how does one do it? ive always been a very active person. even after the onset of CRPS I forced myself to remain active and work through the pain, based on the "use it or lose it" mantra. Osteoarthritis has been harder to cope with, especially with it being in both feet. its really difficult to limp on both feet! I assumed (kid myself?) that once both toes were fused i would return to my active lifestyle for the most part, but its highly unlikely that will happen now. OA combined with CRPS in both legs mean my mobility is spiralling downwards and im bloody scared to be honest. im waiting for a visit from a social worker to assess my home needs now. a wheelchair has been suggested in addition to a cleaner and someone to help with personal care. how do i come to terms with that? I dont know that i can. im only 41. this isnt how its meant to be. 5 years ago i was running, riding horses, mucking out stables and working full time. now i can barely walk

Comments

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    We're all resistant to change, to a greater or lesser extent and, when a lot of changes come relatively quickly and are apparently changes for the worse, life gets tough. There is a thread, near the top of this page, called 'Acceptance' in which many different people with different ideas, say how it is/was for them. It might answer your question, Helen.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • maria09
    maria09 Member Posts: 1,905
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Helen
    I think most of us on here can relate to you
    It is very hard to accept we can't do what we used to do and that's the difficult bit I know I've been down the why me stage but now I try take each day as it comes and if its a good day yippee if it's a bad day well I usually just try and get through it the best way I can
    I only had my 2nd foot operation on the same side yesterday so thought I'd check in on here and see how everyone is to forget about the pain
    Try and keep positive I know it difficult to do
    Just remember we are here for you
    Maria
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I hope I didn’t come across as being too blunt or matter-of-fact in my earlier reply, Helen. I was using my tablet and my fingers don’t get on well with a touch keyboard :roll:

    My own mobility reduced gradually so it wasn’t quite such a steep learning curve. Quite tough being different, though, at 15. However, I think the basics are the same. If it’s something you love doing, try to find a way of continuing. If not, save your strength for the stuff you either must do or do enjoy. I think the key is being open to change, not looking back in anger and trying to take up something new and interesting to replace anything you’ve had to let go of.

    Have you tried RDA? I did it until my last knee replacement. (All the fun of riding but none of the hassle of mucking out :lol: ) Also having a wheelchair doesn’t mean you must use it all the time. My first one mostly lived in the garage but came out for vital occasions.

    I don’t think there is a ‘how it’s meant to be’, only how it is. We all tend to envisage perfect lives but not many achieve them. You have only to read one or two threads on the ‘My Child Has Arthritis’ forum to realise that. However, you are not alone. We do understand and are always here to talk to.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Helen, As the others have said your Arthritis doesn't mean you have to stop doing the things you enjoy, it just means you have to find another way of doing things. I only use my wheelchair when I go outside I use walking crutches indoors. It is hard coming to terms with having a disability it means your life will have to change, but don't take it as 'that's it I'm finished' take it as my life will change but it's a new chapter in my life. We are all here if you need to talk.
  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 9,139
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Hellen
    i was born with cerebral palsy so i dont know what its like to be normal.
    i had a job when i left school i also had a horse i rode for over
    30 years running a riding school for disabled children.
    now i'm older i have a mobility scoota i take my dog for a walk with it and go to the shops.
    i go to the hydrotherapy pool as well.
    take care try and enjoy your life.
    joan xx
    take care
    joan xx