Returning member

resusjan

Hi everyone,

I've been off the forum for months and for that I apologise, will spend the next few days reading through to see what I've missed.

Had a rough few months, my ra is starting to worsen now, I've done well over the last two years so thought I was going to be one of the lucky ones. Saw my rheumy last week (I'm lucky that I work in the same hospital as him so he often stops me to see how I am). This week he took one look at me and made me an appointment, he wants me to start on anti tnf's. I'm so worried about that. I hoped it would be a while before I needed them but the rheumy said that there's been too much erosion when comparing X-rays from two years age to now. I told him I needed to work for another 18 years to pay off my mortgage....he told me I won't be!

Also had an awful time when my very dear friends father took his own life, I found him and, as I'm a nurse, went into auto pilot and did my best for him....too late unfortunately so have spent the last few weeks supporting her through this awful time. However, 20 mins of CPR, kneeling on a cold garage floor left my hands, arms and shoulders in absolute agony and the shock of it all started a flare up. It's been such an awful time for everyone, I still can't get the Image of what I saw out of my head. Fortunately my friend didn't see her dad till after I'd got him down and started resuscitating. I've tried my best to support her but its not something she'll ever be able to understand. I really hope you don't mind me putting this on here, I think I needed to "talk" to someone.

Right, enough now, happy thoughts.......my daughter is talking about getting married so I'm looking forward to all the planning and dress shopping. I'm dieting so I can look a little better for the day,I've lost 13lbs and want to lose another 30 so a long way to go yet.

I'm now going to start reading all the posts I've missed.

Take care all,
Jan xx

Numptydumpty

Hi Jan, lovely to hear from you.
I'm sorry you're suffering at the moment, I hope the anti TNF helps.
What a nasty shock for you to find your friends father like that, a horrible experience! No wonder you're suffering a flare.
That's good news about your daughter, exciting isn't it? My eldest is getting married in August, I'm thrilled.
Hope to hear more from you soon.
Numpty

resusjan

Thanks numpty,

No date set for the wedding yet, will probably be next year but I'm looking forward to all the planning.

Hope you have a wonderful day at your daughters in august

DebbieT

Hi,

I'm sorry you had bad news from ure Rheumy. It's good that ul be starting the anti tnf without much delay tho. (I'm trying to find a positive for you )
Hopefully it will work quickly & well for you.

Wot you've been thru recently is devastating. I'd seriously consider getting some counselling. It's the shock & grief you need to deal with & talking on here is a great 1st step!! I had an experience nearly 20 years ago where I saw my 6 month old nephew ... I will forever regret my decision to return to say goodbye one last last time. It took a few years to be able to think of him & see HIM not that image!! I wish I talked back then & someone had told me to seek help. I know ure situation isn't the same but I think the shock & imprinted image probably is. I am so, so sorry!! ((( hugs )))

Massive congratulations on your weight loss & the prospect of ure daughters wedding next year

Take care.x

stickywicket

Hello Jan. It’s lovely to see you again though good that your RA was under control for so long.

I’m sorry things are now not so good. I guess both the shock of seeing your friend’s father plus the physical effort of the CPR (especially given the place and awkward position), would be enough individually, let alone together, to set off a flare. Of course your friend will be unable to understand. Suicide is so hard on families especially if they’ve had no inkling of the pain of their loved one.

I’ve not had to go down the anti-tnf route yet but I think every change of med produces anxiety. I hope they work well for you. We do get a disproportionate amount of threads on here where they’re not working well, or are producing side-effects, but we all have to bear in mind that that’s because the majority, for whom they work well without side-effects, are not here but out making the most of life.

Well done on losing 13lbs. On Chit Chat both Turbogran and Gilly1957 have lost loads of weight. I hope you reach your target for your daughter’s wedding. (Don’t buy the outfit just yet )

woodbon

Hi Jan
What a time you've had, but its nice to see you back again. You know you've got plenty of friends here to talk to. I was a carer in the community and I had to do cpr on someone I only know slightly and that was hard in every sense of the word. To do it in the circumstances you did, well I can't imagine the stress and strain.

I don't know about the meds as I have OA and Fibro, so they are not for me. I hope that you find them a great help, once you get used to them. So I'll wish you the very best of good luck with them. At least, working close to your Rheummy means you'll be close to help!

I've been away a while with family problems (long and boring). Its nice to have somewere to come 'home' to.
Good luck and lots of love, Sue xxxx

barbara12

Hello Jan its lovely to see you back...what an awful time you are having...know wonder you are having such a bad flare...
I can only imagine how awful it was to find your friends father like that...it will take a long time to get over the shock..if you ever will.
Sorry I cant offer any advice on the TNFs...but I really do wish you well with them...who knows it might be the making of you...
sending some very gentle hugs (((()))xx

frogmorton

Gosh Jan

What an awful experience :shock: You poor poor thing I am so sorry.

Extra sorry that it has caused a dreadful RA flare as well.

Tis good at least that you have come back here and us 'old friends' can support you while things hopefully settle.

Just goes to show how much harm a terrible emotional and physical experience can do

Take care

love and ((()))

toni xxx

resusjan

Dear Debbie, sticky, sue, Barbara and Toni,

Thanks so much for your kind words. I guess you're all right....stress, flare, etc etc. I have been reading through posts trying to catch up on what I've missed and have seen some about the anti tnf's. I did notice that there are a lot about side effect etc so am pleased with our comments that those that find them great are too busy enjoying life to come onto the forum. I've got an appointment for more X-rays on Thursday, then back to rheumy in July to find out more about the treatment plans.

Chin up and all that..... Hope you're having better weather than what we've got in Wales today

bubbadog

Hi Jan, welcome back, sorry you have had some awful times but with your daughter planning to get married that something good to focus on. All the best and I'm glad to see you back.