new life in the country

lindseyb123

In 4 weeks I am getting married and moving in to my husbands farm, I am really looking forward to this but am very worried too as I have severe ostio- arthritis in my spine hands neck and knees and feet so am in a lot of pain all of the time, the problem is although the farm house is very old and beautiful it is also very cold and draufty which will make my pain worse, we have very little money and have been turned down for a home improvement loan, we have had a nest sceme grant to provide heating for my husbands 90 year old father who lives with us, sadly he has always put the fires out before going to bed and the grant put in a log burner so the house is very cold from 9 oclock each evening and every time he goes out, my arthritis means I cant cope with this and i dont think a 90 year old should either, any ideas of how to deal with this, are there advocates that could help me to sorce grants or loans to up grade the farmso it is warm as at presant even though it has heating the heat goes out through the rotten single glazed windows and the damp on the stone walls dont help either

DebbieT

Hi,

Congratulations on ure upcoming nuptials

I'm afraid I have no ideas about finding funding/grants etc but I'm wondering if the help line staff would be able to steer you in the right direction? Id try them first hun.

Im really sorry I couldn't help but I wish you much luck & happiness in your future.x

maria09

Hi
I'm sorry I have no advice but wish you all the best for your future married life
Maria

salamander

Hi Lindsey, congrats on your upcoming marriage.

Surely, as the woman of the household, your views should have equal weight? I can understand when you weren't living there they may not have been taken into account but you need to make it plain that this is your home now so you have a say in how things are run. After all, I'm sure you will be bringing many contributions to the house, both from any income you have to other skills!

I don't know about grants etc. but the simple measures of temporary glazing in the winter (the plastic stuff you can buy in hardware stores), heavy curtains or, at the very least, lining existing ones with a thermal lining, help a lot. I did this to all my curtains a couple of years ago and it made a massive difference.

Just thought, my local council did give residents draught proofing and other measures for free under a scheme they ran a couple of years ago. Might be worth ringing them to find out if there is anything in your area. Come to think of it, I bought the thermal lining from them at half the price it usually is.

Best of luck with it all.

stickywicket

Congratulations on your forthcoming marriage. I hope you’ll be very happy together.

I must say, this damp, draughty farmhouse seems rather unsuitable both for you and your future father-in-law. Is your future husband a farmer? ie must he live there or is it that it formerly had a farm attached and so he’d be free to move to somewhere more suitable?

If moving isn’t an option, Salamander has given some good advice re draught-proofing. In a former house we just tacked up polythene in winter. My son, who has an old cottage, has heavy, long curtains at the windows and also against some doors.

As for your husband’s father putting the fires out before going to bed – old men can be difficult and set in their ways but surely your fiancé could have a word with him about this on your behalf. Is it a safety measure? A money-saving measure? A good log-burning stove throws out a lot of heat. How can he turn that off? Can you buy a cheap electric fire to supplement things? Sorry for all the questions. I’m just trying to get the picture.

wynnie

hi lynsey ,
congratulations on the up coming marriage and i hope your happy ,i can see exactly where your coming from with the cold ,i dont know where you live as you havent said and i cant see it but there is a government scheme running in scotland if you are on any kind of benefits where they put in a boiler if you are eligible , dont know if this applies to you . ,this might be an idea as well why dont you ask your guests for money for a gift i know it might be cheeky but it might help put a heating system in i think if it was me id be saying before i moved in that i couldnt live without heat ,i dread to think what it will be like in the winter ,my friend has a farm and im sure she is getting a grant from somewhere to put in a new heating system ,dont quote me on that and she is away on holiday so i cant ask but i will find out hope this helps xx

Boomer13

Hi;
I have a similar problem in that although we have an excellent wood stove, it's difficult to keep the house warm enough at night. I have inflammatory arthritis and Raynaud's and just can't take much cold at all. So, I have an electric blanket that I use at night and I get up between 3 and 4 am, light the stove and go back to bed so it's warm by 8 am. Heavy curtains were mentioned and that helps tremendously. I'm fortunate to have good windows throughout and the house is insulated.

Still the difficulties are many, not the least of which is hauling enough firewood. This is a huge issue and my husband is constantly doing this when he is not working at his job. Definitely adds to the the stress and strain of living with me as I can't do much around the house either. I'm always considering the current winter will be my last one living in a rural area, not that I don't love it here. It's very beautiful and adds to my life in many ways but it's very difficult. think if I'd known I was getting an arthritis, I wouldn't have considered it but we'd just moved in when I was becoming ill.

I'm sorry not to be more positive but it really is difficult with the heating issue as well as all the work involved in living on a rural property. Then there's the issue of who would take care of things if my husband were to be injured or become ill......We haven't had to deal with that but it definitely crosses my mind a lot.

I hope you find solutions and best of luck in your new marriage.

Anna