What would you do?

stickywicket Member Posts: 27,428
edited 24. Jun 2013, 15:58 in Community Chit-chat archive
With a chain email. I think they're evil little monsters and never, ever pass them on whether they promise untold riches or threaten instant annihilation. My friends now know this so don't send me them.

Problem. A friend (L), who knows I don't 'do' them has sent me one along with an apology that it's from her slightly mad American friiend. It's mild as these things go. I'm supposed to read and digest the airy fairy message of inner peace written on it, send the email immdiately to 8 female friends, including back to the one who sent it to me, ie L, then watch what happens on the 4th day. (Beggur all, I know, I know :wink: )

In normal circumstances I'd simply have emailed L back, reminded her gently that I don't send these things on and told her a bit of family news. But, there's a complication. A week ago, L's only sister died suddenly aged 61. I'm guessing that, although she's bearing up well, she's feeling too fragile to break the chain.

What would you do?


  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'd delete then ignore the e-mail, that way you, not L are breaking the chain.
    If L chooses to send it to someone else, that's up to her.
    L knows you don't "do" them, so in spite of what she's going through, should understand why you're ignoring it.
  • Boomer13
    Boomer13 Member Posts: 1,931
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I agree with Numpty
  • Megrose489
    Megrose489 Member Posts: 750
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I agree, too. Instead of returning the chain email, perhaps you could just send a chatty, supportive email with your news and not mention the chain email at all. Much better that she simply knows you're thinking about her. If she's included an apology for sending it, then she is well aware of your feelings and shouldn't feel upset about you not passing it on.
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,280
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    ooh this is an hard one...like the others I would not send the email back, and tell her that you will be there for her , but dont really like these emails..I am sure she will understand...and in time realise that friends are what she needed at a time like this... now I am rambling ..sorry xx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    These things are riduclous nonsense, and your friend is obviously under some strain at the moment. Delete it and make no mention of it the next time you are in contact with her. Given her circumstances she may well have forgotten that she passed it on to you and reminding her may cause further upset. DD
  • lizzieuk1
    lizzieuk1 Member Posts: 302
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have a couple of friends who send these things, I just delete them no different from all the other junk mail I get, never mention them as to be honest I can't be bothered what's the point in upsetting them, obv they like them but don't see the point creating a tricky moment because of them. The odd ones are about returning messages from so many people will bring u this that or the other piece of info/luck/total load if rubbish I never return them so guess they'll get the message I don't do them by my lack of participation!
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sticky, I just want to add, it's not you in the wrong/letting L down, it's her slightly mad American friend. :wink:
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,152
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Delete it then forget about it. Mig
  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 8,603
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Sticky
    yes I would delete it you might get another if you passed it on.
    take care.
    joan xx
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,428
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you everyone for your input. I have read, and thought hard about this.

    I couldn't just delete it as I would any other chain email. That would appear to ignore her current distress and the years of friendship. In the end I pressed the return button, reminded her that I didn't/wouldn't send such things on to others and then wrote a few brief sentences about other matters, some happy and some sad, including her sister's death, hoping I'd struck the right balance between honesty, sincerity and jokiness because, even in dire straits - maybe especially in dire straits - we've always managed a laugh or two.

    I might not have taken the course you advocated but the input helped me to decide so thanks again.
  • fowls48
    fowls48 Member Posts: 1,357
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sticky

    Yes delete it and treat it as spam .

    Fowls xx
  • mike26
    mike26 Member Posts: 416
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi all
    yes i think you made the right decision
    stickywicket (return to sender)
    mike26 :roll:
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,532
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'd send it back to her only.

    She wont know you didn't send it to anyone else. Tis the kindest thing to do.


    Toni xxx