Frustration

Kittkat

I at a super low (lowest) point in my life mostly due to the damn disease. I was undiagnosed for a long while ( putting off docs due to denial/being scared) and I am in a real state. I just finished my degree and now I am bed/house bound and I am so depressed.
I really want to get out there and do something with my life but I can't. I am quite unhappy with my life anyway but it seems I can't do anything to change it. My family are stressed with me.I just wish I could have a break away from me. I am so jealous of other people it makes me so sad to see them with their jobs/ boyfriends/ girlfriends/wives/husbands/kids etc.
My life feels intolerable it is so hard to get through the day
I just don't know what to do with myself I havn't really got anything to look forward to and I can't do much to change it with my body being so bad . I seem to be averaging a major breakdown every week and I don't know what to do.

elnafinn

Hi Kitkat

I am sorry to read that you are feeling very down. I have read through all your postings on the forum and it would appear that you are depressed and you have reason and could probably do with a chat to the helplines or your gp. At the same time you cannot blame everything on the arthritis. If you are often miserable your family will be stressed with you. It is only natural. No one travels through life with everything going as they wish. We have to make the best of our situations. I am not a miserable person but cannot do a lot that my friends and relatives of similar age are capable of doing. I try to make the best of a bad job and help myself with the aid of medics, gp and physio and exercising as best as I can. It is boring at times sticking to routines but I can look back over the years and see that if I had not helped myself by talking to others and persevering I would not be where I am today at age 62. I enjoy calling in on the forum and giving advice and help if I am able to. I do not find it a particularly depressing place. I admit that I was not suffering with arthritis at your age but even then life was not super great all the time. Life is what you make it. What are you doing to try to change your life?
I hope you feel better both mentally and physically soon. It does help to write it down.

Elna

barbara12

Hello Kitkat
I agree with Elna, that you should ring the helpline at the top of the fourm, depression is a rotten thing but you can come out the other side with the right help...many moons ago I had to take ADs...it took some reasoning ti get me to take them I can tell you ..but was I glad I did, I couldnt even see that I was depressed...till the meds kick in ...I was on them for nearly two year and haven't look back since...most depressions are cause by a chemical imbalance in the brain and the ADs put that right .
So please go and see your GP..sometime it takes a while to get the right meds....there are many on here that have taken them , and it has helped them to get through a bad patch...please let us know how you get on..((((()))))xx

stickywicket

Kittkat, I'm wondering how long you've been 'bed/housebound', which meds you're taking and for how long. This isn't a good state of affairs as I'm sure you're aware. You may be on some meds that have not yet kicked in but, unless they've been prescribed very recently, maybe you need to ring your rheumatology helpline to explain that they're not working.

I do agree with Elna and Barbara, though, that you sound depressed and a course of anti-deps might help. There is much to be depressed about if one is young and arthritic but it's not all doom and gloom. There is no reason why you shouldn't have the things you envy so much in others. Many of us met our husbands and got our jobs after diagnosis.

Arthritis is a bum deal but it certainly doesn't have to mean one has nothing to look forward to.

DebbieT

Hi kitkat,

I'm in full agreement that you sound thoroughly depressed & will most probably benefit from being on an antidepressant!! I would also suggest some counselling too. It could help you work out how to claw some of your life back.

Jealousy an ugly & destructive emotion to have at the best of times so to feel that a lot must be an awful drain on you emotionally & physically Anti D's could help with that too perhaps.

The old saying life is wot we make it is very true!! You do need to have a strong word with ureself about changing how ure living so it can be more fulfilling for you. These things will have an effect as you build them up.

I really do feel for you but please start to fight back, you deserve to enjoy life & find happiness. Keep talking & please keep us posted.x

stickywicket

DebbieT wrote:

Jealousy an ugly & destructive emotion to have at the best of times so to feel that a lot must be an awful drain on you emotionally & physically Anti D's could help with that too perhaps.

Wise words from Debbie. Negative feelings do drain us. If pain is draining us too we need to keep these at bay any which way we can. The arthritis cannot be dismissed but don't let it mess with your head, Kittkat. Try to find the positives in your life. I'm sure there are many.

elnafinn

Such wise words from Debbie. Jealousy if not halted becomes all consuming. You have to want to do something about it though in the first place and it is only you that can get the ball rolling. Please call the helplines, contact your gp to get help with all this. Lots of talking to the right people and beginning to learn to like yourself and feel worthy are the first steps.

You are not the first and will not be the last to ask for this kind of help.
We shall support you if you wish us to do so.

Elna