Man flu

mellman01

Now I've been up to my a**e in deadly Plutonium, dodged Neutron beams that would fry you on the spot, I've been in radiation fields that would kill a mortal man and only lost me hair now thats tough!, to top it all I've also served my time as a rough neck working in the hell they call a coal fired power station, a place where you breath & eat ash and PF dust every shift, you can be killed in nano seconds by a sundry of things and never know what it was that did for you, the heat can be high desert one minute and Siberia the next, your always covered in oil and grease & were expected to have the muscles of Thor and the ability to ignore pain for hours but thats feck all to MAN FLU!. Why is man flu so much worse than normal old boring flu?, we all I can say to the ladies on here is thank your lucky stars you can't get as this its awful, if I were not supper human I don't know how I'd cope honestly i don't!?

PS any sympathy would be nice as all I get here is will you please stop making a mess on the new floor from all the crying and dribbling you light weight! :roll:

dreamdaisy

I agree, women don't often take the manly aches and pains involved seriously because there always appears to be an element of over-acting as the poorly boy snuffles and sneezes, gropes for tissues and demands something in the hot drink line every five minutes or so. I, however, don't subscribe to this whatsoever.

Of course you are properly ill. You are ill much more than usual (and with something that will eventually clear up and go away) but on top of the knee etc, it is all JUST TOO MUCH. I sincerely hope you begin to feel better soon. DD x

mellman01

Ha I'm ill alright DD just ask my shrink!, now even though I'm at deaths door I still managed to do my taxi duty and on the way home after getting Diesel I noticed a woman park on the side of a roundabout looking a tad distressed and confused, talk about her being confused I was as she was resting on her elbows looking down a drain gully?, anyway I sped by aiming for home but then my conscience kicked in so even though I was a good mile or two down the road I went back and pulled up to see what I could do!.
Anyway it turned out she was looking at a duckling that had fallen down a drain, the woman had stopped as them mum duck with all the other ducklings in tow were at risk of getting killed by all the traffic, she'd stopped to shoo the mum off the road only to find the youngster squeaking for help a foot down a storm drain, So I wasted no time in running back to me car diving in, so I could put me underpants on the outside of me trousers ( as stunt I got sectioned or a while back but I digress!), then I jumped out and, TADAAH! CAPTAIN BOGBOT IS HERE!, NOW TINY LADY MAY I BE OF ASSISTANCE?, so I went to the back of me car and got out a long steel bar and a hammer and bingo one duckling was rescued in a jiffy and all this on top of MAN FLU now that ARD ask Tony!
Now the down side to the story is I'm texting this update from the back of the local looney bin as the Rozzers have thrown me here for dressing a tad oddly and carrying an offensive weapon or so they tell me?, Ha!, call that an offensive weapon I said you've obviously not seen the wife!, anyway the next thing I knew was I got Tasered in me bum and now I seem to be off for a night in a room with an indoor bouncy castle wearing a jacket that ties up at the back!.

frogmorton

Aw Mell!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bless you I KNEW you were a big softie at heart.

The poor ickle duckling!! Did you return it to his/her Mummy duck?? The poor woman too she must have been really worried and stricken!!

Hope you put your chundies on the right side before going home. With all that snot and dribbling you're in enough trouble as it is

Sympathy?? Did you ask for sympathy????

Alright then....



Have some tissues for your poor sore dose :roll:

Love

Toni xx

stickywicket

It would make a great movie and I'm sure ducklings everywhere will be grateful.

Do the local constabulary provide tissues or do you just have to wipe your snotty nose on the sleeve of your straightjacket? (Now that would make a great exercise for arthritic shoulders.)

I would have organised a whip-round to bail you out but Mrs Mellman begged me not to.

mellman01

oh great even the war office doesn't want me back!, its not bad in here they give you these great little pills every few hours!, sadly the mum and the other chicks had left due to it being so long before I turned up, what got me was the woman tried to get help by flagging cars down but only me and two old ladies stopped, typical of the lot round here they're only interested in themselves, on the up side though the woman knows how to raise them as she's had ducks and chickens of her own so she was going to take it home and raise it, we did look for mum but as I said she was long gone by then, it just saddens me how many didn't stop, what is wrong with people round here?, they just don't care and are generally highly self obsessive, they aslo act strangly, for example every time there's a bit of bad weather they raid the supermarkets for bread and milk, they've even had them fighting over it feck knows what planet these a*******s are on but its one I do not want to frequent, I generally stop to ask is everything OK so if that makes me strange then I'm happy with it I'd rather be odd than be like them. Sorry rant over! :oops:

Sharon2960

It's amazing what man flu can do to the mind!!! Hope you feel better soon!!

barbara12

Oh Mell not the man flu...we will all come round and see what we can do for you...bless we know how hard you are....me and Toni are on our way with the vic...now it tickles but not much....

mig

Mel so so sorry you have the dreaded man flu.Mrs Mel you have my deepest sympathy. Mig

frogmorton

barbara12 wrote:

Oh Mell not the man flu...we will all come round and see what we can do for you...bless we know how hard you are....me and Toni are on our way with the vic...now it tickles but not much....

Ah good idea Barbara and some honey and lemon for him too bless him

mellman01

Oooooh I can't wait I'll go get me Borat Mankini on and await the ring of the door bell GRRRRRRR :shock:

bubbadog

Mel As you saved a little duckling I send my sympathy's for your man flu! You stay warm and get those tissues with aloe vera in that are soft on your nose. Hot lemon and honey on the way! And a bunch of grapes!! Get well soon!!

villier

Oh Mell, diddums the dreaded man flu oh no!! as you were the hero of the hour, tea(with a wee dram) and sympathy coming your way.........bless your wee cotton socks..............get well soon