Where's Mig?

dreamdaisy

I was chatting to a friend earlier today and the subject of the Tour de France popped up. This was discussed quite briefly, mostly along the lines of how boring it is. Blokes riding bikes? :? Televised blokes riding bikes? :? Pourquoi?

The arose the subject of MAMILs - middle-aged-men-in-lycra and the penny dropped. Mig has been rather quiet of late and we think we know why: she's in France, en vacances, following the peloton on her old sit-up-and-beg bike, feasting her eyes on a sea of lithe lads clad in her favourite stretchy stuff. Allez Mig! Allez! I will watch tonight's coverage to see if I can spot her. DD

stickywicket

Did I notice a tandem with a very happy-looking lady (I use the term loosely ) on the back?

mig

Allo allo allo 8) Mig

applerose

Well I hope you bring back plenty of pictures Mig.

villier

Ooo lah lah mig happy days xx

mig

DD I sent you some snails but one of them has escaped keep your eyes open for it. Mig

dreamdaisy

I found it. At 2.30am I trundled downstairs for a wee and trod on it. :shock: This is not an experience or sensation I recommend.

I've been thinking about the lack of a ladies' Tour de Anything so have hatched a plan. Next year will see the inaugral staging of the MALNIL cycling event, which will be a gentle pedal round North Norfolk (it's nice and flat is North Norfolk). MALNIL? That stands for Middle Aged Ladies Not in Lycra. There will be some basic rules, viz;

1. All machines must be either tricycles or proper Pashleys. Some of our more 'challenged' members will be allowed to employ the use of a tandem with a designated male driver.

2. All entrants must wear long, floaty summer frocks and big, floppy straw hats. This also applies to the designated male drivers of tandems (yes, that's you Mr SW and Mr jillyB1).

3. Refreshment pit stops will occur every time a pub comes into view and must last for at least one hour.

These are the plans so far, please feel free to add any further ideas. DD

stickywicket

A magnificent concept, DD. One or two problem areas do spring to mind though.

1. A MALNIL event is all very well as far as it goes (Probably as far as the first pit stop in some cases :roll: ) but what about us GOBNILs (Gormless Old Bats Not in Lycra)? Please may we join in this phenomenal event. (If not, we shall spit, dribble and, in some cases, chuck our dentures at you.)

2. There could be a Health & Safety problem if Mr SW were to don a long, floaty summer frock viz many of the other competitors might wobble off their bikes in hysterics. Mr SW last wore a long frock in 1974. His Widow Twanky utterly traumatised our young son. (He is, alas, equally unsuited to lycra.)

3. Despite never having been to Norfolk I am self-lessly willing to volunteer my services as 'Route Planner'. I think my pub-finding abilities would prove invaluable in ensuring no-one succumbed to dehydration.

dreamdaisy

Hmm, I have read and thought about the term GOBNIL and have concluded I don't like it simply because I don't know any gormless old bats. How about re-terming MANLIL as 'Moderately Aged Ladies' etc etc? That way all ages are included, from the mere youngsters to the well-matured and nicely-rounded examples like us.

Health and Safety? Ye gods woman, none of that nonesense will apply. Mr SW (and the other designated drivers, being blokes of some excellence) will have no truck with it either; they will be allowed to hoist their skirts into their knickers so that they don't come anywhere near the wheels and also revealing a tantalising glimpse of hairy masculine calves. Job's a good 'un.

Yesterday, whilst supping in the Plump Pusscat, I found a booklet detailing all Woodforde's pubs in Norfolk. Again, job's a good 'un in that all the hard work has been done by someone else which is my preferred way of doing anything.

I think we're set fair - we'll rendezvous sometime next July, kicking off at Hunstanton. I suggest a coastal route all the way round to Mundesley (where there is a hill or two). I can see this course taking at least a couple of weeks to complete. Such fun! DD

stickywicket

Many thanks for your clarifications, DD. I believe I am a qualified MALNIC as I am exxeptionally well-matured.

Mr SW begs me to ask if it will be in order for him to hoist his skirt into someone else's knickers rather than his own.

I do like your take on route planning. I trust that, in the interests of parity, no pub will be made to feel excluded from being part of the pit stop facility.

mig

I have been allowed by the gendarmes to send one message out ,I am alive and well and will be put on the ferry in the morning,so kind of them to put me up for the night or should it be put up with me ? I have photos which are secreted about my person.did anyone spot me on the ten o'clock news ?Mig

dreamdaisy

Oh yes, I did. :? You are indeed an extraordinary woman, I never knew one could do that with croissants, un flic and a bottle of champagne, let alone doing it in public. 8) DD

stickywicket

Mig, you really can't smuggle that nice gendarme through customs. Put him back.

mig

OH POO .Mig

applerose

No Mig. Bring two.