Do bad things really come in threes

As5567
As5567 Member Posts: 665
edited 17. Sep 2013, 00:53 in Living with Arthritis archive
Two days ago I was told that one of my close friends had died suddenly, I have never really experienced death of anyone close to me. I don't think that it's settled in yet I just feel empty with no feeling of emotion. This afternoon I received a phone call from a family member to tell me that my grandad had been taken into hospital, he has suffered a major stroke. I have asked the doctor to give me her honest opinion of the outcome, she has told me if he pulls through the next 72 hours then there is a reasonable chance that he will make some recovery. How much they don't know.

People always say bad things come in threes so should I brace myself? I feel really bad for the fact that I've not even shed a tear over my grandad or friend.....everything at the moment just seems like a bad dream that I can't break out of.

Comments

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,707
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It's just superstition. Sometimes bad things come in threes, sometimes in ones, twos or dozens. I suspect that, when two bad things have happened, in close succession, one is more likely to register as a third one even a minor 'bad event' that would otherwise have been accepted as just part and parcel of everyday living.

    There is no right or wrong way to receive bad news, Some people cry easily and frequently: others rarely or not at all. It doesn't make the depth of emotion any greater or lesser whichever category you come into and it certainly doesn't make you a better or worse person. Having said that, you might find that it is simply shock that's delaying your tears.

    Go easy on yourself. If possible talk about both your grandad and your friend to people who will understand and listen. That does, of course, include us though 'real people' would be better. I do your your grandad makes a good recovery. ((()))
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 27,475
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Ash

    I am sorry.

    Think with grief is that for some of us it comes in 'stages' one of the first is disbelief so possibly you don't believe it just yet? It may hit you yet and if it does please do keep talking - on here or to friends and family out there :) For some it isn't until the funeral, others later than that even that the tears come.

    I also think that 'bad things' do happen in any number, but a 'third' is often almost looked for? If you know what I mean. Try not to worry it doesn't prevent anything just makes us feel worse

    You have more than enough to deal with at the moment :( .

    Look after yourself and your parents at the moment. I hope for a good recovery for your Granddad

    Love

    Toni xx
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,152
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Am thinking of you and sending hugs. (((()))) Mig
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,257
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am sorry...grief is a strange thing..and \like Toni says it comes in stages and has to be gone through and not held in...I hope your GD make a good recovery..and please look after yourself in all this...sending some very gentle hugs ((((())))xx
  • kentishlady
    kentishlady Member Posts: 807
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Am so sorry to hear your news. My thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself. Sending a few gentle (((()))) in case they are needed. Beryl. xx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    One of the things I have learned over the past ten months of life's trials is that it takes time to process, absorb, comprehend and accept the events that turn our lives completely upside down and inside out. It isn't done in a matter of days, it takes a deal longer and is not easy.

    These events must have been a huge shock for you and I empathise. I have experienced three bereavements in the past ten months but it was the last one that threw the other two into some kind of relief (and by relief I mean contrast). To lose a friend at such a young age is ghastly and I sincerely hope that your grandfather pulls through and regains the fullest health possible. DD
  • DebbieT
    DebbieT Member Posts: 1,033
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi,

    I agree with the previous posts that bad & good things happen in many different numbers. We do tend to be 'on the lookout' for that third thing tho!!

    I'm so sorry for the loss of ure friend. My children have lost peers & it has shaken them to the core. I think wen we're young we feel more invincible, so wen death touches friends it brings our own mortality into question. It perfectly normal.

    Wot an added shock to hear about ure Grandad :(
    I really hope he makes a good recovery if that is suitable for him.

    Be kind to ureself. You sound like you could be in shock & I know a bit about that feeling :? Remember there is no right or wrong way to feel with grief.

    Look after ureself. ((((hugs)))) xxx
  • maria09
    maria09 Member Posts: 1,905
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi
    I'm so sorry about your friend and Grandfather
    My mum had a really bad stroke two years ago she was really poorly and on many occasions we thought she might make it luckily she did but is paralysed down her left side she spent 5 months in hospital she could not eat or drink and had to be fed through a tube in her stomach since then she has gradually improved to a pont where she can eat and drink normally but is still paralysed down that side but can now be hoisted into her wheelchair so we can take her out for short journeys
    It just takes such a long time for any improvements to appear when it's such a bad stroke its a very difficult and stressful time for everyone involved we just learnt to take it a day at a time and face each problem at a time and try and deal with it one step at a time
    You and your family are in my thoughts I gave up praying a long time ago
    If you have any questions please PM me
    Remember to take care of yourself too I didn't and made my condition worse
    (((( ))))
    Maria
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend & Grand-father, you properly haven't cried yet because your body is in shock and it hasn't hit your brain yet. You might find you will break down when you least expect it. That's what happened to me when my mom-in-law passed away. As for bad things coming in three's it did happen to my OH & I. It became our Annus Horibilus that year. But it doesn't happen to everyone so don't expect anything else to happen, it was just a coincidence for us. I'm sending you a big (()) as I think you need it. Take care.
  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 8,260
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello As5567
    I'm sorry about your granddad and your friend it must have been a shock.
    I hope your granddad makes a good recovery.
    you take care
    joan xx
  • As5567
    As5567 Member Posts: 665
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks all, been a really hard few days. My grandfather passed away after having another stroke, all of the family met up tonight to make some arrangements which has made me feel slightly better about things. At times like these it really does make me appreciate my life and the family and friends I have.
  • maria09
    maria09 Member Posts: 1,905
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi
    I'm so so sorry about your grandfather
    He won't be suffering any more and in a better place
    Just remember all the good times you had together and not dwell on how he was at the end
    My grandparents died when I was 10 and I still think of them all the time I'm 50
    So long as you keep his memory in your thoughts he will always be in your heart
    Maria
  • trepolpen
    trepolpen Member Posts: 504
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi , sorry to hear about your grandfather , never a easy time for your family , we got funeral for one of my close family this week so know how you are feeling
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,707
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm so sorry your grandad died. It's good that you have family and friends around you at such a time. I am thinking of you.
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 27,475
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Ash

    I am so so sorry :(

    It is good you have a lovely family around you just now so you can all support one another.

    Thinking of you

    Love

    Toni xxx
  • Toots
    Toots Member Posts: 483
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    So very sorry to hear your news :( Spend time with your family and take care of yourself xxxx
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,257
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am so sorry to hear your GD has passed away...like the others have said..you will need your family and can through this together...I am thinking about you (((()))xx
  • As5567
    As5567 Member Posts: 665
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks all, both funerals over and done with. Time for me to move on and get on with my studying etc.

    Been feeling really rough the last few days which I'm putting down to missing my meth for 2 weeks.....I have never forgot to inject before and my mum is constantly nagging me to take it usually on my injection day, so I guess its safe to say the meth is actually doing something along side my other medication.

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