Anger and arthritis

angrypoet123

Does anyone else get so frustrated with the daily pain of arthritis that they just get angry at the world and take it out on loved ones? I have a problem with this. I get so frustrated and upset about being in pain that I tend to take it out on loved ones and coworkers. What are some ways that you guys cope with the pain and frustration? I just want to know that I am not alone in feeling this way.

dibdab

Frustrated-often, angry-seldom! How do I deal with it- by trying to be kind to myself, relishing the good stuff in life(things like a stroll in the sunshine, time spent with nearest and dearest, a good giggle whenever possible etc), and being honest with others about when I'm struggling- perhaps the hardest part has been asking for and accepting help when I need it because it means admitting to my growing limitations.

Deb xx

hileena111

Hi
Another thing to add to that list....come and have a rant on here rather than to your loved ones

Love
Hileena

stickywicket

Anger is one of the stages of grief that must be gone through. It's only natural to feel anger when one has lost one's previous good health. It only becomes a real problem when one becomes stuck in that stage and fails to move on into real sadness and then acceptance.

Mind you, it's also a problem if we take it out of those around us It's not their fault that we have arthritis and, indeed, we probably need friends more than ever so alienating them is not a wise option.

I think if you can be honest with those around you it will help. Apologise when you lash out verbally, explain (matter-of-factly, not in a touting-for-sympathy way) where you're coming from and most people will understand. The rest don't mattter.

Boomer13

Yes, indeed I have felt/feel this way. Having been quite athletic and strong at one time, I became very angry with myself and irritable in general when my body started to let me down. I thought that I just needed to try harder but all I was doing was forcing myself into a state of chronic exhaustion and irritability as a result. My spouse paid for this and it took us nearly losing our marriage for me to realise I was having a huge impact on him. I also became aware that I was seriously ill at this time. I denied this was the case for a long time because of fear. It makes one very angry to watch your loved activities/habits slip away and not be able to do anything to stop it.

This is the denial stage I guess, that Stickywicket is talking about in her post. The grief part I'm still in, but experience that intermittently, thankfully. It helps me to know I only need to be there for these emotions; anger, grief, sadness. I don't need to act on them in any way or pass them on to anyone else.

I think it is better for me (but I still get irritable!) now that I have allowed my ego to step aside and realise that I can't physically live up to my high expectations of myself. They were pretty unrealistic anyway. I can't expect myself to cope with, what is for me, some pretty severe dysfunction. I have let myself off the hook and no longer expect I can cope with it all. I'm much better off because of this and so is my spouse. I still get irritated with things but I can't expect him to always be aware of my limitations. I spell it out directly what I can and can't do. In general we have found ways to laugh at my illness and limitations. The positive is there is far more laughter and peace in my house than before I got sick.

Now if I get really irritable I take it as a sign that I have overdone it physically, and/or I am about to go into a flare. It generally means that I am not feeling well in one way or another and need to rest. I warn my spouse ahead of time that I am not feeling well and am liable to be irritable, so best to leave me to myself. Telling him exactly what I can and can't do (very firmly if necessary!) helps too. Then, I don't get drawn into things that are too much for me (which makes me very angry btw). This works for us and it has proven true multiple times that excessive crankiness equals not feeling well in myself. Rest is what's needed.

Take care and best wishes.
Anna

dreamdaisy

I can honestly say that not once have I felt angry. Frustrated, disappointed, omitted, dismayed, perplexed and depressed yes, but angry? Nah.

I knew from a very early age that a good life was for other people, not me but I comprehend that if you come from a healthy background the utter affront and insult of this dross must come very hard. For me it was no great surprise but, even if it had been, I sincerely hope I would have had the wisdom to appreciate that those who love me or who know me are not to blame. This is my burden, not theirs. My bad temper has nowt to do with them, it's my weakness, not theirs. DD

angrypoet123

I just want to thank you all who have replied. You were all very helpful

Kittkat

Hello
I used to quite a lot. I've got a bad temper anyway my whole family does doh!maybe you could get some counselling to help you with your feelings. Being angry all the time never helps and may make your condition worse
Take care

barbara12

Yes I do think that many get angry.like Hileena says you come on here and have a good rant..it really will help to get things wrote down.x

angrypoet123

Can I write about anything on here? Not just arthritis? Just asking, I'm new here.

maria09

Hi
Yes there is a chit chat board that you can post on
I don't get angry any more as I've come to accept my Arthur and my restrictions but I do get annoyed with it at times like most of us
We have good days and bad days and know everyone on here can relate to that
So welcome and happy posting
Maria